"Senator Burns, is it true the door didn't hit

you in the ass as you were leaving the Senate?"

Looking at this picture of Senator Conrad Burns,

something reminds you of what Samuel Johnson

once wrote: "Patriotism is the last refuge of

a scoundrel."

In his remarks at a DC fundraiser today,

the President praised Senator Conrad

Burns for his role in increasing the nation's

output of American flags.

"Mr. Willey, is that a tie you're wearing, or did the 
heart surgeon forget to sew you up?"

Rare Two-Headed Chupacabra

Spotted on Capitol Hill

Montana Senator says: "I wouldn't know

Abram Jackoff if he walked in the room!"