Saturday, August 30, 2014

One wonders if Mitch McConnell was holding his nose
when Jesse Benton found it expedient to resign as
the Senator's campaign manager.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Things changed when people realized that Skeletor 
was just a disguise worn by John McCain.
Wouldn't it be dreadful if God, in His Infinite Wisdom,
had decreed that your fate was to be Jack Abramoff?
And not just once around time's sorrowful weary wheel,
I Remember Dubya #64
Dubya's moves were sometimes better than
James Bond's.  Here we see him bribing a 
navy commodore using the seldom-seen
'Left Overhand Maneuver'.
And Greg Abbott, wouldn't you know, is so chicken he 
won't even cross the road!
Peter King likes this Black and Tan,

but not this one.  Why is that?
Doing the 78 RPM on John McCain's Birthday
Froogle Glass (c. 1957)
Zippy and Zerbina had been warned that a 
same-muumuu marriage was a slippery slope 
into the 1950s, but they just wouldn't listen.
The Unexpurgated Bible #103
"Suffer the little children of the night to come
 unto me. What music they make in the 
Kingdom of God!"
Bee Happy---Go Lucky!
Q:  "Do the women who work in the Fox News cat house
appreciate catcalls?"
A:  "Is the Pope Catholic?"
In the world's Spooking Order, Roger Ailes terrifies ISIS 
and ISIS terrifies Lindsey Graham.
"It's obvious there's a big difference between my father 
waterboarding terrorists and ISIS waterboarding
Roger Goodell Sez:  "Simply put, we have to do better.  
And we will."
[As soon as he recovers from his latest concussion.]

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Hello Kitty, we now learn, is not a cat.  Like the Atlas 
Moth, which also has no mouth parts, Hello Kitty lives
 seven days or so and then dies.  It then becomes
Goodbye Kitty.
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #55
Des Hague

In an uncertain world, it is reassuring to know that Ben Stein 
will never be gunned down by police because of his 'incredibly 
strong, scary self'.
"Mr. Sorensen, would it make you feel better while 
you're in prison if Jesse Benton, Mitch McConnell's
campaign manager, were your cellmate?"
Vladimir Putin Accepts the Ice Bucket Challenge
If John Boehner paid you $500 an hour to sue the President,
you, like David B. Rivkin, might wear a monkey suit, too.
"Today, children, Alex the Clown will
be telling us about the Leninist in the
White House."

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

World's Worst Yobs #313
John Bresnahan
Four Out of Five Doctors Say Chewing Beeman's
Gum Aids the Digestion of Bullets and Burgers
Warm Scuzzies #502
Will Hayden
Whiteworld #22
Whoever coined the term, 'pasty-faced', must've had
Bill O'Reilly in mind.
Scientists Say Massive Half-Mile Crack in the Ground Proof 
That Earth Is on Verge of Going the Way of Krypton
Koch Brothers' Favorite Reptile
War Machine (aka Jon Koppenhaver) Thinking of
Changing Name to William Kristol II
Douglas McAuthur McCain:  Could an American ISIS
fighter have been named more ironically?

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

"Pardon me, sir, but do you consider yourself to 
be a 'sexual radical'?"
"Only when I dream about Mike Huckabee."
Warm Scuzzies #501
Justin Cosma

Monday, August 25, 2014

"Of course, my hair is exaggerated, like everything else
these days."
Have you noticed we haven't heard much out of John
Kasich, Governor of Ohio, lately?  There's a reason.
If eating whole foods makes you look like John Mackey,
wouldn't you rather subsist on a diet of Big Macs?
Sometimes a suspension bridge is just a suspension bridge.
And to think she had walked a mile for that camel!
If the president of NBC News is serious about wanting an 
'edgier' Meet the Press, Caius Veiovis says he's available.
Netanyahu's Approval Rating Nosedives, 
Arby's $10 Dollar Meat Mountain's Skyrockets
Campaign Buttons for Sale:  Cheap!
"On dry days, I trust the NSA.  On wet days, I don't.  It
hasn't been dry around these parts since 1952."
"In the tradition of Ice Road Truckers, the History 
Channel is proud to announce a new reality show: 
Ice Bucket Challengers!"
In all fairness to Jonathan Saenz, it's easy to understand why 
his wife left him for another woman:  he's conservative, he's
 Catholic, he's a lawyer.
"Sneakin' Sally Through the Alley!"
Do you have to be a beefy bullethead before
you can be hired as a cop in St. Louis?
If the knife-wielding man in St. Louis had stolen, like a 
bankster, $1 billion in energy drinks and then yelled, 
"Shoot me, kill me now!"  he would probably still be 
alive.  But he only stole two drinks and was a poor
"The Obama Administration is feckless, unlike yours truly,
who has lots of fecks."