One wonders if Mitch McConnell was holding his nose

when Jesse Benton found it expedient to resign as

the Senator's campaign manager.

Things changed when people realized that Skeletor 

was just a disguise worn by John McCain.

Wouldn't it be dreadful if God, in His Infinite Wisdom,

had decreed that your fate was to be Jack Abramoff?

And not just once around time's sorrowful weary wheel,

either!

I Remember Dubya #64

Dubya's moves were sometimes better than

James Bond's.  Here we see him bribing a 

navy commodore using the seldom-seen

'Left Overhand Maneuver'.

And Greg Abbott, wouldn't you know, is so chicken he 

won't even cross the road!

Peter King likes this Black and Tan,

but not this one.  Why is that?

Doing the 78 RPM on John McCain's Birthday

Froogle Glass (c. 1957)

Zippy and Zerbina had been warned that a 

same-muumuu marriage was a slippery slope 

into the 1950s, but they just wouldn't listen.

The Unexpurgated Bible #103

"Suffer the little children of the night to come

 unto me. What music they make in the 

Kingdom of God!"

Bee Happy---Go Lucky!

Q:  "Do the women who work in the Fox News cat house

appreciate catcalls?"

A:  "Is the Pope Catholic?"

In the world's Spooking Order, Roger Ailes terrifies ISIS 

and ISIS terrifies Lindsey Graham.

"It's obvious there's a big difference between my father 

waterboarding terrorists and ISIS waterboarding

hostages."

Roger Goodell Sez:  "Simply put, we have to do better.  

And we will."

[As soon as he recovers from his latest concussion.]

Hello Kitty, we now learn, is not a cat.  Like the Atlas 

Moth, which also has no mouth parts, Hello Kitty lives

 seven days or so and then dies.  It then becomes

Goodbye Kitty.

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #55

Des Hague

Tweeter

Subwoofer

In an uncertain world, it is reassuring to know that Ben Stein 

will never be gunned down by police because of his 'incredibly 

strong, scary self'.

"Mr. Sorensen, would it make you feel better while 

you're in prison if Jesse Benton, Mitch McConnell's

campaign manager, were your cellmate?"

Vladimir Putin Accepts the Ice Bucket Challenge

If John Boehner paid you $500 an hour to sue the President,

you, like David B. Rivkin, might wear a monkey suit, too.

"Today, children, Alex the Clown will

be telling us about the Leninist in the

White House."

World's Worst Yobs #313

John Bresnahan

Four Out of Five Doctors Say Chewing Beeman's

Gum Aids the Digestion of Bullets and Burgers

Warm Scuzzies #502

Will Hayden

Whiteworld #22

Whoever coined the term, 'pasty-faced', must've had

Bill O'Reilly in mind.

Scientists Say Massive Half-Mile Crack in the Ground Proof 

That Earth Is on Verge of Going the Way of Krypton

Koch Brothers' Favorite Reptile

War Machine (aka Jon Koppenhaver) Thinking of

Changing Name to William Kristol II

Douglas McAuthur McCain:  Could an American ISIS

fighter have been named more ironically?

"Pardon me, sir, but do you consider yourself to 

be a 'sexual radical'?"

"Only when I dream about Mike Huckabee."

Warm Scuzzies #501

Justin Cosma

"Of course, my hair is exaggerated, like everything else

these days."

Have you noticed we haven't heard much out of John

Kasich, Governor of Ohio, lately?  There's a reason.

If eating whole foods makes you look like John Mackey,

wouldn't you rather subsist on a diet of Big Macs?

Sometimes a suspension bridge is just a suspension bridge.

And to think she had walked a mile for that camel!

If the president of NBC News is serious about wanting an 

'edgier' Meet the Press, Caius Veiovis says he's available.

Netanyahu's Approval Rating Nosedives, 

Arby's $10 Dollar Meat Mountain's Skyrockets

Campaign Buttons for Sale:  Cheap!

"On dry days, I trust the NSA.  On wet days, I don't.  It

hasn't been dry around these parts since 1952."

"In the tradition of Ice Road Truckers, the History 

Channel is proud to announce a new reality show: 

Ice Bucket Challengers!"

In all fairness to Jonathan Saenz, it's easy to understand why 

his wife left him for another woman:  he's conservative, he's

 Catholic, he's a lawyer.

"Sneakin' Sally Through the Alley!"

Do you have to be a beefy bullethead before

you can be hired as a cop in St. Louis?

If the knife-wielding man in St. Louis had stolen, like a 

bankster, $1 billion in energy drinks and then yelled, 

"Shoot me, kill me now!"  he would probably still be 

alive.  But he only stole two drinks and was a poor

African-American.

"The Obama Administration is feckless, unlike yours truly,

who has lots of fecks."