Saturday, March 21, 2020

Here He Comes to Save the Day
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #801
Waylon Allen Bailey
Jesus Squeezes the Charmin, 
Turns It into Quilted Northern
Florida Schlub Putting His Trust in Trump to Handle the 
Coronavirus Crisis
Wear this mask and you'll be more repellent
than DEET.
Salacious Oprah Rumors Spreading Faster 
Than Coronavirus
Trump's Surgeon General Jerome Adams Unmasked; 
"He's an Infiltrator from Zombieland," Observers Say

Friday, March 20, 2020

Nobody Knows More Than
The Plague Doctor
Maybe coronavirus is God's way of giving
us a tax cut.
Warm Scuzzies #913
David Solomon
World's Worst Yobs #421
Jonathan Last
Reporter Asks:  “What do you say to Americans who are 
scared?  Millions who are scared right now.”

Trump Answers:  “I say that you’re a terrible reporter. 
That’s what I say.  I think that’s a very nasty question.”
Warm Scuzzies #912
Kelly Loeffler
Warm Scuzzies #911
Richard Burr

Thursday, March 19, 2020

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #800
Evangeline Lilly
Rest easy, America!  There are plenty of 
Keep America Great hats in stock.
Don Young Tells Alaska Seniors Fear of Corona Beer
 Virus Is Overblown
Jesus's Last Supper Called Off After Mayor of Jerusalem 
Caps Gatherings at 9
Tulsi Gabbard Suspends Presidential Campaign, 
Endorses Vegemite
Wartime President

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

"Get thee behind me, COVID-19!" Trump exclaimed
"If you frighten easily, we urge you calmly, but sincerely, 
to turn off your television now."
Pence Takes Command
Tony Spell Sez:  “The virus, we believe, is politically motivated.  
We hold our religious rights dear and we are going to assemble
 no matter what someone says.”
The Unexpurgated Bible #177
"The Dow giveth and the Dow taketh away; 
may the name of the Dow be praised."
Like Trump, the Demodex felliculorum doesn't give
a shit.  But, unlike Trump, it can't because it has
no anus.
The time that elapses between a Trump flip and a 
Trump flop is getting shorter and shorter.
Have you seen the new Angel Soft ad?

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Even the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate wore gloves 
to the Trump White House presser.
How Sweet It Is!
Warm Scuzzies #910
Rodney Howard-Browne
Trump Campaign Unveils New Logo
Danger, Will Robinson!  Danger!
National Motto Changed from 'In God We Trust' to
'Flatten the Curve'

Monday, March 16, 2020

Trump Gives Himself 10 Out of 10 for Stage Props
We're All Couch Potatoes Now
Adventures in Aestheticism #243
 Green Revolution Solution
Three-Finger Louie Puts Contract on America
King Arnulf Sez:  "Everybody stay calm.  
This is not happening."
Would someone tell Pastor Stone that coronavirus is also
a Satanic attempt to transform fundamentalist 
clergymen into absolute lunatics?

Sunday, March 15, 2020

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'
Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining
Viewed from the standpoint of the coronavirus,
this is called a 'Target Rich Environment'.
Why do Pathogens look like Sea Mines? Discuss.
In the Age of Coronavirus, do you seek a Dramatic
Diminution of Human Interaction?  If so, this 
island may be the place for you.
This guy hasn't heard that independent lab tests prove 
McAfee is the better option.
And the Coronavirus Became Flesh and
Dwelt Among Us