Saturday, February 05, 2011

Warm Scuzzies #138
Robert Silberman
If Lloyd Marcus Were a Cookie
"OK, after we finish constructing this catapult, we'll build the
Trojan Camel next."
The federal government is telling the light bulb industry their
products need to be more efficient. But, alas, some dim bulbs,
like Thaddeus McCotter (R-MI), simply aren't capable
of increased efficiency.
Vatican Says Pope Benedict Can't Donate His Wurlitzer
"I'm not a lycanthrope, but I am a Rabid Wolf Spider."
"We're not all Egyptians.  Some
of us are lycanthropes."
World's Worst Jobs #117
Egyptian Vice-President's Bodyguard
National Enquirer Probes John Boehner's Adulterous Boners
Bristol Palin Debuts New Spring Line of Bazookas for Boys
Bobby Franklin, leader of Georgia's notorious 'Honky
Gangstas', has introduced legislation to repeal all laws
he doesn't like, which is pretty much the same as all laws.
Reagan Hologram Jumps into 2012 Presidential Race
King James I Commends Fox News for 
Preferring His 'Authorized' Version of
the Bible over the 'Heretical' NIV
Used by Barack Obama

Friday, February 04, 2011



Justice Thomas’s Wife Ginni Now Either a Lobby Hobbyist
or a Hobby Lobbyist
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #268
Bob Vander Plaats
Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #87
Grasstops USA
Beck's Third Law of Teevee
For every drop in ratings, there is an equal
 and opposite increase in the Crazy.
Need a title to make you feel more significant? How about
'White House Correspondent for Bildungblog'?
When he heard John Boehner described as
'ruggedly handsome', he wept.
Sarah Palin Trademarks Name, Introduces
 New Line of North Country Foods
Descendant of Rocky the Flying Squirrel Takes
Strong Exception to the Expression,
'Nuttier Than a Squirrel Turd'

Thursday, February 03, 2011

"Walking in a Winter Wonderland"
Thomas Euteneuer, Author of Sexorcism and the Church
Militant and World Authority on the Laying On of Hands,
"Violates the Boundaries of Chastity" Without Involving
"the Sexual Act," Resigns from Human Life International
Oxymorons for Our Time #84
Senate Ethics Committee
It's the Year of the Wiwwy Warge Wascal Wabbit.
"The word on the street, Mr. 'So-Called' Gaffney, is that you
aren't the real Frank Gaffney, and that you're a member of
the Muslim Brotherhood."
Warm Scuzzies #137
Roger Vinson
We now know why there are tides, why
there is a moon, and why Bill O'Reilly
is on Fox News:  GOD DID IT!

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

"Is this a pistil or a stamen?  Jesus, why can't I remember the 
difference between the male and female parts of a flower?
You'd think I'd know by now!"
"As you can see, ladies and gentlemen, my circles and verticals
are better than my horizontals and diagonals. I've been told 
this is because I write with my left hand, instead of my right."
There's only one sure-fire method for not killing yourself
while shoveling snow:  STOP SHOVELING!
"Please turn in your hymnbooks to number 306.  Let us all
now stand and sing, 'Trust and Obey'."
Is Barack Obama already on the fast-track to sainthood?
"Representative Wimmer, nineteenth-century phrenologists
 could only dream of studying a head like yours."
"Why, thank you, thank you very much!"
It's been 92 days since the election,
and Carl Paladino is still undead.
President Mubarak Launches New Camel Jockey
Diplomatic Initiative to Calm Egyptian Unrest
John McCain Wants to Be Loved Again
Johnny Depp says until he makes more
money than he did last year--a paltry
$100 million--he will continue to dress
like Ken Shabby.
Without fear and paranoia, Rand Paul
wouldn't be jack shit. 
Curbside Busker Kicks Off 
Tea Party Fundraiser
Muslim Brotherhood Migrating from North Africa to Iran,
Taking Egypt with It
World's Worst Yoobs #88
Lila Rose
Borders Borders on Bankruptcy
Pet Cobra Looking for New Owner
Small Rodent Sleeps Through Punxsutawney
Phil's Weather Forecast
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #47
The Adventures of Gonzo the Amnesiac
in Mortgage-Fraud Land

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #46
Six Degrees of Suppuration