Saturday, July 09, 2011

"That's right, Senator Jackboot!  The sane
people in Arizona have recalled your
mangy ass!"
"The United (wheeze!) States (puff, puff!) is within (gasp!) reach
 of (hack, hack!) strategically defeating (cough, cough, cough!)
Al Qaeda. Whoo-wee, saying this has pert near left me plum
tuckered out!"
Greedheads Galore #12
Stephen Schwarzman
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #314
Mike Bickle
World's Worst Yobs #223
Mark Krikorian
Warm Scuzzies #198
Paul McMullan
"I think it's stupid under any circumstance to pay
anything close to 100 dollars for a bottle of wine," said
Republican Paul Ryan, as he poured another glass from
 his $350 bottle of Jayer-Gilles 2004 Echezeaux Grand Cru.

Friday, July 08, 2011

Senator Hatch wants the poor to do more to
reduce the National Debt.

Do you think a mass die-off of the poor might help?
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #118
Frank Gaffney, Pamela Geller, and Eblan Farris
When Lloyd Blankfein raises his right hand,
he lies.
When he raises his left hand,
watch out!
If your Dad happens to be a herpetologist, it's sometimes
a good idea to humor him as an act of filial piety.
"What do you mean, 'Do you want to shoot this in
Slow Motion'?  Is there any other kind?"
Office cubicles in Libya are much larger than those in the
United States, and their occupants are much better armed.
"Boy I think about them every night and day
I wouldn't wanna have it any other way
I'm addicted and I just can't get enough
Just can't get enough Rocket-Propelled Grenades!"
"The First Rule of Pocket Pool," says
Eric O'Keefe, "is to use a right-hand
gesture to create a diversion.
Something like this."
Skeezy Tabloid Journalists Hack into Fearguth's Phone,
Perish from Ennui
World's Worst Jobs #119
Libyan Used Car Salesman
Have you seen the new Dongfeng EJ02?  Sorry, guys, but the
 lady in red isn't standard equipment.
Flag Desecration #46
"We sure pulled the wool over the eyes of American justice,
didn't we, Casey?"
PTA Moms Busted in $14 Million Pansy Scheme
Warm Scuzzies #197
Ken Ard
Warm Scuzzies #196
Andy Coulson

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #313
Tim Scott
Blond Harpy to Host New HLN Show,
'The Devil Is Dancing Tonight'
"Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
They don't tell the truth
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies."
Warm Scuzzies #195
Robert Mecklenborg
In football, this is known as the 'Single Wingnut Formation'.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

President Obama Sez:  "I Misunderestimated the
Magnitude of the Recession"
CNN Cancels Eliot Spitzer's Show, Sends Him to
Bed without Supper
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #312
Michael Graham
Rare Zebra/Donkey Hybrid Suffering from Identity Crisis;
"Am I a Donkra, a Zonkey, a Zebrass, a Zedonk, or
Something Else Entirely, Like a Teabagger?" It Wonders

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Oxymorons for Our Time #103
Liberal, Kansas
Joe Biden Gets Hammered with Teamster Boss,
Makes Twitter Debut
Undead Ann Coulter Rips Dead 'Anorexic, Bulimic
Narcissist and Nitwit Hussy', Princess Di
Our ancestors would have said,
"Michele Bachmann is 'Bat
Guano Crazy'."
We say, "Michele Bachman is
'Batshit Crazy'."
Saves two syllables. 
That's progress.

Monday, July 04, 2011

Top Cain Staffers Jump Ship of Fools
Fearguth Sees 28 Great Shows in Four Days; Sure Beats Eating
62 Hot Dogs in 10 Minutes