Saturday, May 01, 2010

The Petroleum Industry Equation
Offshore Drilling = Onshore Spilling
Needless to say, he's still
waiting for his first date.
President Obama Visits Gulf Coast to Watch Helplessly
as the Oil Spill Destroys Everything in Sight
'Gingrich Profiling' is the inclusion of political or ideological
characteristics in determining whether a person is considered
likely to read a particular type of book or to behave in a
predictably teabaggerish manner.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we take you now behind the
scenes of a police headquarters in a great American city,
where under the cold, glaring lights will pass before us
the innocent, the vagrant, the thief, the murderer, and
Muammar Gaddafi. This is The Lineup."
"These boots are made for walking,
and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots
are gonna walk all over you."
"As Pastor Blanchard says, 'The gun is civilization'."
"On your next vacation to Aryanzona, Lou, will you
be taking your Mexican-American wife?"
Governor Perry Prepares to Take His
Favorite Guns Out for a Stroll
"Greedbody, here. Put Blankfein on the
line and make it snappy!"
In a spectacular display of continental drift and
cañon solidarity, the Grand Canyon is migrating
from Arizona to Chihuahua, Mexico, home of
the Barranca del Cobre.
The Incredible Shrinking Fred Hiatt
Oxymorons for Our Time #32
Fair Tax
"You've heard of 'lollygagging', haven't you?
Well, that's what I'm doing right now."
Tomato Satori
Stepford Wife Kisses and Tells
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #49
Kathleen McKinley and Pamela Geller
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #157
Kristinn Taylor

Friday, April 30, 2010

"I'm fairly sure my brain's in here somewhere,
but I'm not positive."
Most people don't know this, but Butthole Surfing
is even more dangerous than BASE Jumping.
When the birds began to drop dead from food
poisoning, the old woman's neighbors realized
how much she hated pigeons.
"I'm sorry, but until the claims adjuster
says it's totaled, our hands are tied."
The shocking truth is that--are you ready
for this?-- Açaí is pronounced 'ah-sigh-ee'.
"Sure, I'm just another wacky Alabamian, but at
least my name isn't 'Fob', like my Dad's."
Pseudo-Pseudonymity Viewed as the Greatest Threat
to American Hegemons Since the Heyday of The Shadow
I Remember Dubya #38
Crawfordites are saying that brush has really
gotten out of hand since Dubya left town.
"No, no, no, Tucker! I said you look dense, not tense!"

"You know that the Venn Diagram was invented
by a member of the Clapham Sect of the Church
of England, don't you?"
"I only smell white."
Brown Man Starts Blubbering When Asked to Show Papers
BP's Mascot, the Roughneck Grebe
Attention All Immigrants
If asked to show your papers, it would
be unwise to present these.
She: "As my couturier, Jacques, which outfit do you
think will show off my body to the best advantage?"

He: "Well, Katie dearest, have you considered a burqa?"
World's Worst Jobs #109
Russian Garbage Gleaner
George W. Bush's reputation is about as ready
to rebound as this deflated basketball.
"'Drill, Baby, Drill!' my ass!"
BP Vows to Clean Up Spill, Baby, Spill!
Sarah Palin Playing Her 'Loud, Grinding Instrument'
New Scientific Discovery Reveals That Bottled
Water Causes Hair Loss, Fuels Muscle Building
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #156
Kenn Blanchard

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Rick Perry to Participate in Warrior Dash
This Weekend in Forney
Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #43
Rhymes With Right
How You Can Tell Fabrice Tourre Is Lying
TR Bags Bull Elephant While Jogging
Lone Star State

Yellow Star State

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #155
Duncan Hunter
Famous Coyote Taking No Shit From Texas Governor

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Iowa Republican Pat Bertroche Proposes
Installing OnStar Systems in All Illegal
Whiteworld #4
None is so blind as John Tanton, a white
supremacist opthamologist.