Saturday, February 27, 2010

This Week Only at Akbar and Jeff's Tofu Hut:
Tofu Wrestling
Gatorade Drops Tiger, Full Throttle Blue Demon
Drops Tilikum
Warm Scuzzies #65
City of Colorado Springs
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #108
Documents show relatively few donors have loaded Gov.
Rick Perry's campaign 'Money Cannon'. To be exact, of the
$1.3 million raised in one day, $1.28 million (or 98%) was
donated by just 123 wealthy givers. These are what the
Governor calls his 'grassroots supporters'.

Friday, February 26, 2010

The Smoking Gunner
"One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small."
100% Pure Kentucky Extra Old Single Barrel Swill
Warm Scuzzies #64
David Paterson and David Johnson
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #136
Ray McBerry
Breathes There the Man with Soul So Dead

Thursday, February 25, 2010

"Screw the Democratic and Republican parties!
I've decided to run for Congress on the Hair
Direct ticket!"
Pakistani potheads are different.
"Sieg Heil!"

"Heil Sieg!"
Arguing with idiots is bad enough, but idiots not
arguing with each other is even worse.
"Suck on this, American imperialist!"
Before Supreme Court Justices Looked Silly


Bad Pie, Bad Pie!
Breaking: Popeye Falls for Sarah Palin and Trig,
Dumps Olive Oyl, Abandons Swee'Pea
Thursday Romanian Transvestite Blogging
World's Worst Yobs #156
Ryan Sorba
Dead Tree Scrolls #2
"Isaiah the prophet saith, 'The thickets of the
Washington Post will be cut down with an
axe and Sally Quinn shall fall'."
"1 - 2!"
"3 - 4!"
"1 - 2 --- 3 - 4!"
XPAC 2010 Flops; XXXPAC 2011
Sounds More Like It
Apple Notches 10 Billionth iTunes Sale
with Download of Johnny Cash
What's for lunch? In honor of the Health Care Summit,
how about an Enormous BLT?
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #43
Frank Gaffney and John Bolton
Angela Braly, Chairman and CEO of Wellpoint,
presides over a corporation which, in 2008,
awarded 39 executives over $1 million each
in compensation and spent $27 million on
'executive retreats'. Defending her company's
recent premium increases of up to 39%,
Ms. Braly insisted that she is on the side of
the consumer. So was Vlad the Impaler.
Drudgery Report #10
Having to explain over and over that Boehner
means 'boner' but isn't pronounced that way
would be drudgery.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #107

Warm Scuzzies #63
Anthem Blue Cross
Mark Steyn Aiming Thought Daggers
Straight at Your Heart
Meghan Stapleton, Top Palin Aide, Resigns to Spend
More Time with a 'Saint' and a 'Precious Miracle'
"You're such a pig!"
Whether the Governor of Nevada lies more
just before he gets on a plane or just after he
gets off is a question on which experts differ.
Steve King is a Razi. Razi is pronounced either
Rat-zee, Rot-zee, or Razz-ee, all of which aptly
describe this Republican representative from Iowa.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Brown Vote Draws Fuchsia Anger, Chartreuse Shrugs
"Yes, I'm King Stephen of England, grandson
of William the Conqueror. But I'm really too
moist right now to render an opinion as to
whether the future of the United States will
be homofascism or heterofascism."
"No, my child, I'm not a deviationist. I'm a robot."
"If you're not quitting and they're not quitting,
who, besides me, is quitting?"
Factoid of the Hour #9
Whereas the term 'Crop Circle' has been entered into
the Oxford English Dictionary, 'Chinese Paramilitary
Circle' hasn't.
"Holmes, why do you suppose Freud believed a
man tolerated, even liked, the smell of his own
assical gas?"
"Alimentary, my dear Watson!"
So relax. Take a load off. Have
another beer. You will have to buy
the book if you wish to live forever,
which is a bit of bad news. But
there's also a bit of good news:
you don't have to read it.
"Well, Dick, when the history books are written,
you will doubtlessly be remembered for setting a
new Guinness World Record as the meanest mofo
who ever survived five heart attacks."
"What a coincidence! I'm stark, staring mad, too!"
"So, just how long has it been, Dawn, since we last
had sex?"
"Fifteen years."
"That long, eh?"
"Yeah, Jim, and after 15 years
without sex, you die."
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #42
Newt Gingrich and David Bossie
"Photoshop this!"