Saturday, April 21, 2012

"And then I said, 'No, Agent Chaney, Sarah Palin is not a
 book and you can't 'check her out'!"
Coroner Rules Andrew Breitbart Died from Heart Failure, 
Not from a Contract Hit by a Barry Soetoro Zombie

Presidential Seal Takes the Day Off

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #9
Joyce Kaufman
"I'm the NRA!"

Flag Desecration #55
Richard Land, President of the Ethics and Religious Liberty
Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention, Being
Investigated by His Own Commission for Rampant
Sperm Wonders When Tennessee Will Pass a Bill 
Allowing Criminal Prosecution of Anyone Who
Harms Sperm

One of the arguments for the existence 
of God is the 'Argument from Design'.  
The easiest way to refute this argument
 is to ask:  "What was Joe Manchin 
designed for?"
Some of Ted Nugent's best metaphors are nonverbal.
Mitt Romney's foreign policy advisor 
had to have four qualifications:  
1) Republican, 2) Gay, 3) Sexist,
4) Jerk.  Meet Richard Grenell.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Why doesn't Dana Loesch have a good American-sounding 
name like 'Jane Doe'?  Is she a foreigner, or something?
Lock 'n' Load Jesus Sez:  “I have never known George 
Zimmerman to be violent at all unless he was provoked,
 and then he would turn the other cheek.”
"Michelle Bachmann says President Obama has been
waving you in the air.  Is that so, Tar Baby?  And if it
is, what do you suppose the President was trying to 
do, and what was Ms. Bachmann trying to say?"

"I'm both a Blue Dog and a DINO, two species on the 
Endangered Species list."

In Colombia, Tania is a member of the Secret Service Service.

Vatican Launches Counter-Strike Against
Rogue Nuns

Mitt Wit #1
“I’m not sure about these cookies.  Did you make these 
cookies?  You didn’t, did you? No. No. They came from
 the local 7-Eleven bakery or wherever.  Well, I bet I've 
tossed better cookies than these!"
The Lard of Fatbush
"We're sorry, President Johnson, but what you have in your 
pants isn't Jumbo.  This is Jumbo."
Anders Breivik Says He's a 'Nice Person' and Will 
Kill Anyone Who Thinks Otherwise

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #382
Michael Fitzpatrick

The Potrzebie Prize #19
Ted Nugent Receives Secret Service Citation
for Excellence in the Use of Metaphor

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Greedheads Galore #24
Stephen Ross
Whiteworld #10
Sunday Morning TV Talk Shows Renamed:  
This Week with Republican White Men
Republican White Men Meet the Press
Republican White Men Face the Nation
Fox News Sunday with Republican White Men
"Like John Raese says, not allowing me to smoke in 
public places is like Hitler putting the Star of David 
on everybody's lapel.  Remember that?"
World's Worst Yobs #250
Holman W. Jenkins
Is Governor Phil Bryant (R-MS) dead, or does he just 
look and act dead?
BP Sez:  "Don't worry about the eyeless shrimp in the
Gulf of Mexico.  You don't eat the eyes anyway."
"What's she so excited about?"
"She's been watching John Boehner
'chastising' the bishops."
Just not on this planet.
Harry Reid Goes Nuclear
Scientists Grow Human Hair on Mouse
Warm Scuzzies #285
Kevin Forts
"Ted, the Secret Service is here, but they didn't bring
any hookers."

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Lt. Col. Ralph Peters Sez:  "It's not our soldiers posing with
 body parts that's the problem.  It's the bad photography!"
"What's that?"
"It's the new book by Howard Kurtz."
"What's it about?"
"Mitt Romney, the Closet Moderate."
“But let me just tell ya, if you are not sure about wanting to 
support Mitt Romney, whether you are liberal, whether 
you are very conservative, you ought to be excited 
because he’s been on your side at one time or another.”
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #10
Daniel Jenky
"You say, Governor Romney, that the 'Medians' are out to 
get you.  Who, exactly, are the 'Medians'?"
"They are a Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy headquartered 
on Planet 51." 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Old Teabagger's Bucket List
"It says you have to show ID to vote, but you can shoot 
anyone you wish, so long as you stand your ground."
"This baby looks like the ideal Republican voter:  completely
spaced out and in need of a diaper change."
We know, more or less, what Jesus said when
 he was 30. Can you imagine what he might 
have said had he lived to be 60?
Chocolate Jesus Sez:  "Take, eat, this is my body, 
for it is filled with flavonoids and antioxidants
 good for your heart."
"Holy hatrack, Batman!  We must be in the
Galapagos Islands!"
Now that the fad of 'Extreme Ironing' has 
come and gone, can you imagine how many 
unemployed 'Extreme Ironers' there are
in the world today?
If Dr. Frankenstein had been in charge, it 
wouldn't have taken 19 years to turn Jake
England into a monster.
"If you believe I'd swallow Mitt Romney, you must think 
I'm a billionaire!"
Flag Desecration #54