"And then I said, 'No, Agent Chaney, Sarah Palin is not a

 book and you can't 'check her out'!"

Coroner Rules Andrew Breitbart Died from Heart Failure, 

Not from a Contract Hit by a Barry Soetoro Zombie

Presidential Seal Takes the Day Off

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #9

Joyce Kaufman

"I'm the NRA!"

Flag Desecration #55

Richard Land, President of the Ethics and Religious Liberty

Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention, Being

Investigated by His Own Commission for Rampant

Plagiarism

Sperm Wonders When Tennessee Will Pass a Bill 

Allowing Criminal Prosecution of Anyone Who

Harms Sperm

One of the arguments for the existence 

of God is the 'Argument from Design'.  

The easiest way to refute this argument

 is to ask:  "What was Joe Manchin 

designed for?"

Some of Ted Nugent's best metaphors are nonverbal.

Mitt Romney's foreign policy advisor 

had to have four qualifications:  

1) Republican, 2) Gay, 3) Sexist,

4) Jerk.  Meet Richard Grenell.

Why doesn't Dana Loesch have a good American-sounding 

name like 'Jane Doe'?  Is she a foreigner, or something?

Lock 'n' Load Jesus Sez:  “I have never known George 

Zimmerman to be violent at all unless he was provoked,

 and then he would turn the other cheek.”

"Michelle Bachmann says President Obama has been

waving you in the air.  Is that so, Tar Baby?  And if it

is, what do you suppose the President was trying to 

do, and what was Ms. Bachmann trying to say?"

"I'm both a Blue Dog and a DINO, two species on the 

Endangered Species list."

In Colombia, Tania is a member of the Secret Service Service.

Vatican Launches Counter-Strike Against

Rogue Nuns

Mitt Wit #1

“I’m not sure about these cookies.  Did you make these 

cookies?  You didn’t, did you? No. No. They came from

 the local 7-Eleven bakery or wherever.  Well, I bet I've 

tossed better cookies than these!"

The Lard of Fatbush

"We're sorry, President Johnson, but what you have in your 

pants isn't Jumbo.  This is Jumbo."

Anders Breivik Says He's a 'Nice Person' and Will 

Kill Anyone Who Thinks Otherwise

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #382

Michael Fitzpatrick

The Potrzebie Prize #19

Ted Nugent Receives Secret Service Citation

for Excellence in the Use of Metaphor

Greedheads Galore #24

Stephen Ross

Whiteworld #10

Sunday Morning TV Talk Shows Renamed:  

This Week with Republican White Men

Republican White Men Meet the Press

Republican White Men Face the Nation

Fox News Sunday with Republican White Men

"Like John Raese says, not allowing me to smoke in 

public places is like Hitler putting the Star of David 

on everybody's lapel.  Remember that?"

World's Worst Yobs #250

Holman W. Jenkins

Is Governor Phil Bryant (R-MS) dead, or does he just 

look and act dead?

BP Sez:  "Don't worry about the eyeless shrimp in the

Gulf of Mexico.  You don't eat the eyes anyway."

"What's she so excited about?"

"She's been watching John Boehner

'chastising' the bishops."

Just not on this planet.

Harry Reid Goes Nuclear

Scientists Grow Human Hair on Mouse

Warm Scuzzies #285

Kevin Forts

"Ted, the Secret Service is here, but they didn't bring

any hookers."

Lt. Col. Ralph Peters Sez:  "It's not our soldiers posing with

 body parts that's the problem.  It's the bad photography!"

"What's that?"

"It's the new book by Howard Kurtz."

"What's it about?"

"Mitt Romney, the Closet Moderate."

“But let me just tell ya, if you are not sure about wanting to 

support Mitt Romney, whether you are liberal, whether 

you are very conservative, you ought to be excited 

because he’s been on your side at one time or another.”

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #10

Daniel Jenky

"You say, Governor Romney, that the 'Medians' are out to 

get you.  Who, exactly, are the 'Medians'?"

"They are a Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy headquartered 

on Planet 51." 

Old Teabagger's Bucket List

"It says you have to show ID to vote, but you can shoot 

anyone you wish, so long as you stand your ground."

"This baby looks like the ideal Republican voter:  completely

spaced out and in need of a diaper change."

We know, more or less, what Jesus said when

 he was 30. Can you imagine what he might 

have said had he lived to be 60?

Chocolate Jesus Sez:  "Take, eat, this is my body, 

for it is filled with flavonoids and antioxidants

 good for your heart."

"Holy hatrack, Batman!  We must be in the

Galapagos Islands!"

Now that the fad of 'Extreme Ironing' has 

come and gone, can you imagine how many 

unemployed 'Extreme Ironers' there are

in the world today?

If Dr. Frankenstein had been in charge, it 

wouldn't have taken 19 years to turn Jake

England into a monster.

"If you believe I'd swallow Mitt Romney, you must think 

I'm a billionaire!"

Flag Desecration #54