Saturday, July 12, 2014

Dog Fetching Palinball Underwater
The Real Reason Billy Yank Whipped Johnny Reb
Both the Clowns of America 
International and the World Clown 
Association say a clown shortage is 
on the horizon.  This should help
keep the immigration crisis on
the Texas border in perspective.
If, as Erick Erickson claims, "life is sacred," does it cease
to be so when it crosses the border into Texas illegally?
"Back in the 1890s, doctors called Chairman Boehner's
expression 'bicycle face'."
Albert Einstein Outlining Strategy for War on Duh
Ronald Lee Haskell murdered six people, including four
children.  Keep this in mind when Erick Erickson says, 
 "There can be no compromise on the idea that life is sacred 
and we are all made in the image of the living God."
Mike Vanderboegh, Founder of the Three
 Percenters,  Sez:  “This is the promise, this is 
the warning.  The threat embodied by the
 Gadsden flag of our founders. Don’t tread
 on me, don't tread on my Hot Wheels, don't 
tread on my Oscar Mayer Wienermobile!"
Militia Jesus Sez:   "Come unto me, all ye that labour and 
are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Friday, July 11, 2014

Report:  "Relatively few people seem to
 be actually reading books by politicians."
Steve Stockman wants to see Lois Lerner in handcuffs,
and Lois Lerner wants to see Steve Stockman in a
Two-Minute Haters #39
Ben Shapiro
Barack Obama's Seal

Newt Gingrich's Seal
The Unexpurgated Bible #101
"And when she heard that women who eat apples daily have 
better sex, Eve took of the fruit thereof, and did eat."
It's Oh Thank Heaven™ Day!

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Texas Border Crisis Finally Resolved by 
Butch Photo Ops
Alien Autopsy, Area 51 (Circa 1923)
Bad Teacher Scolds 'Clowns and Nuts' Supporting
Chris McDaniel
Warm Scuzzies #483
Courtland Milloy
If he was, as he claims, "the target of a media assassina-
tion," why is Todd Akin still around pimping a book
and getting interviewed by the Daily Mail?
This cat is on the mat.

This cat isn't.
Dallas Mayor Cracks Aggie Joke, 
Governor Perry Doesn't Laugh
If you're tired of letting the voyeurs at
the NSA have all the fun, you might 
consider acquiring a 'Hidden Camera
Clock Radio & MP3 Player'.  This
'Spy Camera for Home or Office',
which can record covertly and
 continously 24/7 for 16 days, is 
available from Amazon for only
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #51
John Nolte
To criticize a politican for being hypocritical is like criticizing 
a zebra for having stripes.
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #173
James O'Keefe and Eric O'Keefe
While she commands $75,000 per speech, Chelsea
Clinton commands $100,000 to not speak.
Oops!  The third thing Rick Perry was not going to do yesterday
was shake hands with Barack Obama on the tarmac at DFW
International Airport.  But he suddenly went blank and couldn't
remember what it was.

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

"Teddy, I hear Obama can't shoot pool worth a shit!"

"I would like to apologize, Mr. President, for the fact that
my ass, which I've nicknamed 'Rick Perry', has refused to
 shake your hand."
Palin Mocks Boehner's Boner (aka Lawsuit)
Oxymorons for Our Time #167
GOP's Intellectual Center
Chris McDaniel Credits 'Basketball Therapy' for Racism Cure
Squirrel Bushed After Completing Hedonic Calculus 

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

House Speaker Biggest Sue-er in America
Big Bigots, Little Bigots #46
Malcolm Butner
Texas Governor Refuses to Shake Hands with President of
the United States, Says Touching Swarthy Humans Is 
Against His Religion
Sign of the Times #55
Dickheads and Proud of It!
These 'Superheroes without Capes', these 'Champions of
Middle-Class America', are affiliated with YG Network,
a 501(c)(4) social welfare organization launched by a
former staffer for House Majority Leader Eric Cantor.
If you're wondering what 'YG' stands for, look it up and 
you'll find it stands for 'Young Gangsta'.
Egyptian Goddess Isis Forced to Change Name Due to 
Unfortunate Association with Terrorism
Paul Revere Fails to Awaken Sleeping Yankee
"Hey, kids, what time is it?"
"It's Looney Louie time!"

Monday, July 07, 2014

American Schutzstaffel #41
Two Ammosexuals went for a stroll,
One was a Gopher, the other a Mole.
Said one to the other on the 4th of July,
"Where are the Gunhuggers?  Did they all die?"
Warm Scuzzies #482
Francisco Cigarroa
World's Worst Yobs #307
Adam Bellow