Saturday, February 14, 2009

Even Bill O'Reilly realizes that Glenn Beck
has stripped his gears and is a shiftless
no-count brain-dead hayseed.
The stimulus bill has passed.
These guys are shovel ready.
Are you?
GOPers Hang Together on Stimulus
"We understand you've changed the name
of your company from Blackwater to Xe and
you wish to be referred to from now on as the
'CEO Formerly Known as Prince'."
Bipartisan Ship Sinks, Torpedoed by Fuck U-Boat
How Kate Obenshain Dresses When She
Performs 'Barack the Magic Negro' for
Her Wealthy Patrons on the James River
Flag Desecration #15
Karl Rove and Chris Wallace Lead Graduates of
Quail Hunting School in a Fair and Balanced Bit
of Birdsnuffing

Friday, February 13, 2009

Lawmakers Question Bankers on Bailout; Bankers
Remind Lawmakers of Campaign Contributions
TARP Gang of Eight Refuses to Drink Bottled Water
Furnished by the House Financial Services Committee
Rash from Judd Gregg's Flip-Flops Emboldens GOP
Senator Judd Gregg has become such a legend that the
state of New Hampshire expects a surge of immigrants
who say they want to live closer to such a great man.
Defending his vote against the stimulus bill, John Boehner
cried out, "This legislation falls woefully short!" And then
he collapsed on the House floor, weeping uncontrollably.
Big Brave Barnes Blasts Bitsy Birdie
Still Life with Leaning Sack of Shit,
Portmanteau, and Three-Finger Salute
Jason Takes Time Out to Wish You
a Very Merry Friday the 13th
Bush’s First Post-Presidency Speaking Engagement to Be
in Canada's Northernmost Town, Two Degrees Above the
Arctic Circle
When Joe the Plumber tried to wrap his mind
around $1 trillion, he couldn't. He then tried
$1 billion. Couldn't do that either. So he tried
$1 million. Nope, no luck. Finally, he tried to
wrap his mind around $1,000. It was a stretch,
but he did it.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

After days of wandering in the bipartisan wilderness,
Senator Gregg finally found his way out.
World's Worst Yobs #75
Juan Williams
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #14
James Inhofe
Stewart Parnell, owner and president of the
Peanut Corporation of America, refused to
testify to Congress on Wednesday when asked
about his scheme to secretly sell toxic assets
to the American people.
Learn the secrets of salmonella production on the next
episode of How It's Made, only on the Science Channel.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Aqua Fortis
And he's really pissed, because
Big Sister is watching him.
How Patrick Gavin Reacted When Asked,
"Do You Think You Look Pretty in Pink?"
Interior of World's First Christian Church Noted
for Its Understated Religious Iconography
Marc Ambinder Fattens Up from
Sucking at the Teat of Anonymous
'Administration Officials'
But if you live in surreality, as some do,
coal is not only clean, but soft and fluffy.

I Remember Dubya #7
As much as he wanted to blend in with
the boys, Dubya always stood out like
a sore thumb.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Republicans say they see long-term victory in their defeat
on the stimulus plan. Here's what they'll be driving in 2040
as they celebrate their victory: the Hush Puppie Hybrid
Rear Admiral Slippermobile.
"Take it from a Wookiee, dude, bipartisanship rulez!"
Imagine Michelle Malkin live-blogging in the first century
and Jesus has just said, "Seest thou these great buildings?
there shall not be left one stone upon another, that shall
not be thrown down." What would her headline be?
What does the length of your fingers say about your
personality? Like so many of his fellow Baby Boomers,
Bill Clinton has probably never given this question the
attention it deserves.
Although the 2012 elections are almost four years
from now, a new poll showing that Joe Lieberman
will be crushed by his Democratic opponent is like
chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, and gravy:
comfort food for the soul.
"Don't let my size fool you. I used to be MUCH bigger
before I swallowed my pride."
Stock Market Depressed After Reading
Geithner's Adventures in Paulsonland
Fans Shocked When Bodybuilder Admits
to Using Performance-Enhancing Drugs
Tzipi and the Pinhead
Janitor Misplaces Rag Mop, Wins Prize at Dog Show
Drudge Report Funnies #23
"Obama Shows Republicans teeth..."
New Hair Design Makes You Invisible
to Enemy Radar
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #13
Eric Cantor
Stormy Daniels May Challenge David Vitter
to Louisiana Roll-in-the-Hay Ride
Become a blogger and you could be the star of
Slumblog Billionaire!

Monday, February 09, 2009

"From 2003 to 2007, George, I was Lieutenant-Governor of
Maryland, but that was government work, not a real job."
Ugly Drunk Crashes British Academy of Film and
Television Arts Awards Ceremony
Does it make sense that Michael Steele would
pay his sister $37,000 in 2007 to cover late fees
on a movie she rented in 2002?
A big hit on Broadway at the moment is You're Welcome
America: a Final Night with George W. Bush, starring Will
Ferrell. Among other things the show features a graphic
illustration of what the director calls “an anonymous but
age-appropriate public domain Internet penis.” What you
see above isn't that. What you see above is the tallest
skyscraper in Dubai.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #12
John Ensign