"Welcome Back My Friends to the Show That Never Ends!"
Pompeii? No, it's today's conservatives who are, in the words of Sam Tanenhaus, "trapped in postures of frozen flight, clenched in the rigor mortis of a defunct ideology."
Warm Scuzzies #33 Judith Regan
Bernie Kerik: a "Toxic Combination of Self-minded Focus and Arrogance"
Mr. Deeds Goes Phffft!
Markos the Magnificent Makes Tom Tancredo Disappear
Tom Tancredo Reportedly Suffering from
Post-Moulitsas Stress Disorder
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #106
Jim Geraghty
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #56
Rhino Named 'Dede' Targeting Rush for
Some Heavy-Duty 'Scozzafavaing'
Friday, November 06, 2009
"Does it trouble you, Mr. Ailes, that in a recent poll 62% of the American people say that when they look at you, the first thought that pops into their minds is 'Jabba the Hutt'?"
The creator of the 'World's Largest Meatball' says the next record he will attempt to break will involve, in some form or fashion, shoving it up Rush Limbaugh's nether bifurcation.
If Howard Roark were to enunciate the most important lesson he learned in life, it would be that 'Capitalism is Ayn Rand's pudendum systematized'.
Oxymorons for Our Time #9 Republican Renaissance
"Your honor, my client, General Reynaldo Bignone, is dismayed by a recent Australian study which shows that bad moods boost memory. He's been in a bad mood for the past 25 years and that's prevented him from forgetting the thousands of Argentines he helped 'disappear' during the Dirty War. He's not exactly expecting you to have mercy on his soul, but he would appreciate it if you would approve a 90-day refill of his prescription for Nepenthe."
"If, as you say, 'names are destiny', do you have any idea why I was named 'Moist' and my brother was named 'Tender'?"
"Funny you should ask. I think I look like Jack Weston, too. I've always thought his role as 'Pig' in The Cincinnati Kid was his finest performance."
What about Grandpa? Doesn't this indolent teabagger care about him?
What lesson have we learned from the mass shootings today and yesterday? Regardless of the fact there are now over 300 million firearms in private and public hands in the United States today, that's obviously not nearly enough.
Sarah Palin will be giving a $30-a-head speech in Wisconsin today. No press, no cell phones, no cameras, no laptops, and no recording devices of any kind will be permitted inside the venue. At the conclusion of her address, all audience members must submit to a Neuralyzer screening before they will be allowed to leave the premises.
Except for the 43 Million People on Medicare
and the 53 Million People on Medicaid and
All the People at 163 VA Hospitals and . . .
Gams and guns: what more does a man need?
"Jeepers, what a big crybaby!"
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #55
Thursday, November 05, 2009
"Seems like every time I turn around, Rush, I hear you talking about 'anal poisoning'. Why don't you ever talk about 'rectal bleeding', 'colon polyps', 'duodenal ulcers', or 'gastrointestinal problems' in general?"
Always wear goggles and rubber gloves when handling
the
suppurations of Jonah Goldberg. If you don't,
you'll be sorry.
Professor Sominex Moments Before He Committed Auto-Soporification
President Karzai Gets a Glamour Shot, Afghanistan-Style
Political Man Much Too Velocitized to Live in 2009, Can Only Live in 2010 or 2012
There comes a time in every boy's life when he has to exchange his toy pistol for the real thing and thus enter on the path to manhood.
"Is it just a coincidence that the shootings at Fort Hood occurred at the precise moment when the Tea Party patriots on Capitol Hill were on the verge of scaling Mount Pelosi and capturing the attention of the entire Solar System? If you watch V, as I do, you know the answer to this question."
"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis!"
"Anticipation, anticipation Is makin' me late Is keepin' me waitin'."
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #105
Cathie Adams
Rep. Michele Bachmann Calls on Protesters to 'Scare'
Members of Congress into Killing Health Care Reform
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #54
Yet Another Victim of Wardrobe Malfunction
Tennessee Resident Unsure Why His Pickup Truck
Accepted Jesus Christ as Its Personal Savior
"Nothing scares a member of Congress more than a
freedom-loving American lunatic like me."
Broderian Trans-Partisan Fetishists Gathering with
Radical Moderates and Extreme Centristsin the
Middle of the Road in the Center of Town
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Blank Slate #11 Top Stories from November 4, 2009 "Does the Louis Vuitton Bag Come in Red?" "How Do I Get the President to Given My Disease an Awareness Month?" "Will Joe Lieberman Filibuster Health Care Reform, or Won't He?" "Circus People" "This Bitch Owns Her Own Harley"
It was always easy to bring a big grin to Senator DeMint's face. All you had to do was tell him the story about how Grant surrendered to Lee at Appomattox.
"Being white is not enough, because there are many shades of white. So the decisive question is: 'Which white is the right white'?''
Kellyanne Conway always looks her best when draped in the fur of dead animals and after her facial wrinkles have been sandblasted into submission.
"Hey, Sarah! How old were you when you bagged your first bull moose? I'm only 12, and I can hardly wait to run for Governor of Minnesota."
How Last Night's Election Results Were Bad for John Dickerson: a Blank Slate Exclusive
All That Remained After the Battle for the Sole of the Republican Party