Saturday, March 28, 2020

Mama had warned her Spud was a masher.
Take No Thought for the Morrow
So good you'll want to read it twice.
New Coronavirus Edition
So Much Winning!
It's time for a little 'Regime Change'
in the U. S., don't you think?

Friday, March 27, 2020

"Soon will the season of rescue be o'er,
Soon will they drift to eternity's shore;
Haste, then, my brother, no time for delay,
But throw out the life line and save them today."
Trump Signs Landmark 'Social Distancing Act of 2020'
Laid off by PBS, Kermit the Frog was forced
to take drastic measures.
Welcome to Seattle!
"More VENTILATORS, you fool, not PERCOLATORS!"
That's pretty obvious.
If he sees his shadow when he emerges, Biden 
will suspend his presidential campaign
 for another six weeks.
Are you listening, old timers?
Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam (Closeup)
Take One for the Gipper, Oldtimers!
What? Jethro Q. Walrustitty, leader of England's Silly
 Party, has tested positive for the coronavirus?
As someone has wisely observed, “In ancient times cats
 were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”

Even if their owners didn't understand the concept of
Social Distancing, their cats did.
Remember Tangerine Dream, "one of the most influential 
electronic groups of all time?"  Well, this isn't that band,
but the skin tone is tangerinesque.

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Hoarding Made Easy
The Five Stages of Dan Patrick's Grief

1. "I'm not dead."
2. "I'm getting better."
3. "I feel fine."
4. "I think I'll go for a walk."
5. "I feel happy, I feel happy!"
Q:  "How do you pronounce Karma?"
A:   "Ha-ha-ha!"
The Sean Hannity mask will not protect you
from the coronavirus, but it will make it
easier for your friends to comply with
social distancing regulations.
As President Dwight Eisenhower might have said, 
"We must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted
 influence by the Mortuary-Funeral Home Complex."
Greg Abbott and Rick Perry Searching the Scripture 
(King James Version) to See If the COVID-19 Epidemic
 Was Prophesied in the Book of Ezekiel
Trump Can’t Decide Whether to Blame China or Obama
 for the Coronavirus
Those Darn Republicans
Man Repurposes Safe-Sex Outfit
for COVID-19 Epidemic
"Honey, did you see that they've updated
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs?"
Over 900 people died in Jonestown from drinking
 Jim Jones's Kool-Aid.  How many will die from
 drinking Trump's Kool-Aid on Easter Sunday?

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

A Trumpnik Faces the Music
People were burned out on Batman movies, so it was
time for the new Batboy horror movie franchise.
"This is not God’s abandonment wrath nor His cataclysmic 
wrath, rather it is sowing and reaping wrath,” Pastor
 Drollinger declared. And then he took up a collection.
The next time you have a serious medical issue, be sure 
to check first with Donald Trump, M.D.
Warm Scuzzies #915
Kevin Cramer
If you ever get close to Trump,
you're gonna get screwed.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #802
Ralph Drollinger
Republicans want to drop a Neutron Bomb on the coronavirus.  
Sure, it will kill people, but it will save their property, 
including their 401(k)s.
Contrary to Einstein, God does play dice.  It's his
favorite game.
All I See Is Hatred of Me
Waiting for a Royal Flush
Q:  "What's with the long line?"

A:  "Oh, it's just people waiting to die for the Dow."
Once a Rodeo Clown, Always a Rodeo Clown

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Brit 'Smiler' Hume says it's an 'entirely reasonable 
viewpoint' to expect grandparents to die for the
Dow.  Hume, who will turn 77 in June, looked 
positively pouty when some irreverent oldster
 shouted, "You first, Brit!"
Warm Scuzzies #914
Scott McMillan
Since Trumpniks regard him as the Chosen One, why 
doesn't Trump simply cast out the coronavirus the 
way Jesus cast out demons?
Shelter in place now, or shelter in place later?
It's your choice.
God Looking Forward to This Clusterfuck, Says He's 
Been Meaning to Thin This Herd Anyway
As any dog will tell you, learning how to use a knife and fork 
is harder than it looks.