Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #12
Mark Steyn, Roger Kimball, and James Taranto

Other than being Barack Obama's Karl Rove,
what is Rahm Emanuel good for?

Horace Cooper, Former Press Secretary
to Dick Armey, Is Indicted, Takes First
Hop in Abramoff's March of the Frogs

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #73
Challis McAffee

The Real McCoys

The Unreal McCaughey

German Chancellor Sinking Beneath the
Waves of Black-Red-Yellow Symbolism

"Sheesh, you're the fifth person today to ask me why I
bite people. For Christ's sake, I'm a piranha, and like
Rush Limbaugh, that's what God created me for!"

"Hey, kids, what time is it?" Once upon
a time, every kid in America knew the
answer to this question: it was 'Howdy
Doody Time'. But then relativism began
to set in and kids started answering,
"8:20" or "10:15" or "12:10" or "3:40" or
"7:55." That is, until one kid finally
answered, "Inasmuch as time is an
incorrigibly subjective concept, the
correct answer is 'Miller Time'."

"Holy Mackerel, regardless of which way I look, people
seem to be living in the future, like say 2010 or 2012, or
in the past, like say 1980 or 1984. But no one seems to
be living in the present, like say 2009."

"Say one word about my cheap sunglasses and
ZZ Top will beard you mercilessly!"

Hawkins and Steele: "Best Comedy Team Since
Lum and Abner," Says New York Herald Tribune

Skippy the Bush Kangaroo as a Neonate

How One Afghan Voter Wears Her Snuggie

Contrary to what you may have heard,
New Hampshirites do have a sense of
humor. Take Judd Gregg, for example.

Joy McCann has rejected the notion that only
men should be permitted to fondle their guns.

When He saw that John McAfee was down to
his last $4 million, Jesus wept.

Josh Marshall is puzzled: the 'nuclear option' was once thought
to be abolishing the filibuster; "Now it's just pushing through
a health care bill without Chuck Grassley." Sorry, Josh, but
abolishing the filibuster wasn't the 'nuclear option'; it was
the 'nucular option'.

Magical Depressionism #6
It Was the Age of Twitter Wars

"Reach for the sky, varmint!"

What they say is true: the astroturf is always greener
on the right side of the fence.

If Mike Ross (D-AR) is a Blue Dog Democrat, what
color dog would he be if he were a Republican?

Left Wing/Right Wing of the Republican Party,

or
Bipolar Disorder?

Senior Bush Administration officials never
worried about the Secretary of Homeland
Security, because his 'threat level' was
always Yellow.

Semiautomatic Insignoramus

World's Worst Yobs #123
Radley Balko

"Sorry to disagree, ma'am, but I think Ma and Pa Kettle
Go to Town was a much better picture than Francis the
Talking Mule."

Tom Ridge Confirms What Many Knew
Long Ago

Creationists Cite Recent Discovery as Proof for
the Coexistence of Dinosaurs and Humans

Marc Ambinder and Some Guy Wearing an Apron

"But I thought the Black Panthers went out with the 1970s."

Now that public opinion in the U.S. has turned against
the war in Afghanistan, it must be time for President
Obama to send in another 45,000 troops.

Were a nihilist to carry a protest sign, what might it say?

Magical Depressionism #5
We Live in a Budweiser World

World's Worst Jobs #99
Indonesian Pole Dancer

Diver Badly Misjudges Lane Depth

World's Worst Yobs #122
Andrew Napolitano

Senator McCain's run as the star of Maverick has ended.
Next season, he will star in Hidebound Republican.

Chuck Todd seems to be such a nice young man.
Too bad he often appears to have shit for brains.

New Rasmussen Poll: Support for Health Care Reform
Collapses Without Pubic Option

"Senator Conrad, would you care to comment on the
report that you know more health care lobbyists than
there are people in North Dakota?"

Science Proves Teabaggers Could Annihilate
Humans and Upend Civilization

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #72
Ernest Hancock

Tony Scalia, influential leader of the Lou
Costello School of Jurisprudence, says,
"It's Constitutional to execute someone,
whether he's guilty or not." This should
ease the concerns of those innocent souls
on Death Row who fear their executions
might be unconstitutional.

"Hey, man, this shit's takin' me way out of context!"

Allegories for Our Time #6
"Move along, geese, move along!
There's nothing to see here but snow."

Magical Depressionism #4
Barb Begins to Look Worried

"Hold on a minute! I still need an eleven-letter word
that begins with capital 'E' and ends with little 'e' which
fits the sentence, 'E_________e the Palestinians!'"

"Hello, everybody, it's time to fire up the barbie!"
"Sorry, sir, but I forgot to bring the Kingsford."
"Well, uh, alright, that means it's Steak Tartare
again tonight!"

Times were tough, no doubt. Even Narcissus
couldn't afford a decent reflection.