Thursday, March 06, 2008

If he had heard "up for grabs" or "superdelegates" one more
time, Fearguth was in danger of turning into a bowl of
Yummy Mummy Cereal. As a precaution, he drove 1,300
miles in his old truck--from north Texas to southern
Florida--to enjoy the Langerado Music Festival. As part
of this therapeutic measure, Fearguth will be offline
until March 10.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Six Degrees of Infatuation
Can you imagine Charlotte Allen swooning?
She says she never has.

Can you imagine Charlotte Allen getting married?
She says she never will.
Matryoshka Doll Accused of Revealing Russian State Secret

Big Cheese Endorses Easy Mac
Air Force General Kevin Chilton, the commander of US
strategic forces, said Tuesday the United States will need
nuclear weapons as a deterrent until Jesus comes again,
maybe even after.
"Hmmm, Hillary's 'kitchen sink' strategy must've worked.
Maybe I need to watch more HGTV."
"No you can't keep a good woman down, no
No you can't keep a good woman down."

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

If political cliches were pins, you would be a hellraiser, too.
The Flat Earth Society has finally admitted the Earth is
round, but it still believes humans didn't cause its roundness.
The Oval Office the Day After the Rapture
"I appreciate the fact that General Odierno really snatched
defeat out of the jaws of those who were trying to defeat us in Iraq."
Melanie Morgan has lost her job as a talk radio host.
Her audience is in shock, wondering how they will
now get their daily 'Two-Minutes Hate' workout.

Monday, March 03, 2008

First Successful Gig Young Clone Elected President of Russia
Because they don't want to make men like John Pomfret feel inferior.

Janus of the Lazer Helmets
Especially Charlotte Allen.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Pistol-Packin' Grandma Repulses Swedish Invasion
of Crawford, Texas
You see here the fossilized remains of the Al-Qaidasaurus, the
most feared theropod during the Bushassic Period.
"Hi, I'm a Giant Baby Panda, a Giant Panda Baby, or
a Baby Giant Panda. Whatever. I'm happy to be here.
Are you?"
As it turned out, John McCain lost the election in 2008. But,
in 2009, he was Raptured into Heaven, where he got to
listen to the sermons of Pastor John Hagee for all eternity.
Vlad the Inhaler
Former Russian President Inks Multi-Million Dollar
Endorsement Deal with Cabela's, the World's
Foremost Outfitter
In ancient Greek drama, every actor on stage
wore a mask. The Greek word for mask was 'persona'
(i. e. 'that through which the sound comes'). From
this Greek word we derive our English words 'person',
'personal', 'personality', etc. As Shakespeare might
have said, "All the world's a stage, and all the men
and women merely players wearing masks."
Your sympathy all depends on whose lummox is being gored.
Michael Jackson's Dog

Female Bodybuilders Getting Pumped Listening to
moe.'s 'Don't Fuck with Flo'
Yutaka never forgot the day he received the
knockout punch of all knockout punches.