Saturday, January 28, 2012

"Pardon me, but could you direct me
to the nearest velodrome?"
In the world of Postmodern Advertising, Ron Paul isn't
running for President;  he's just selling Cadbury Dairy
Milk chocolate bars.
"This is the nineteenth debate. It is insane that there
 have been nineteen debates.  I should know
because I've moderated four of them myself!"
Tony Perkins (Gay)

Tony Perkins (Un-Non-Anti-Gay)
Soldier in Afghanistan Captures Black Beast of Arrrggghhh!
"I didn't ask Texas taxpayers to spend $800,000
 on my security detail. All those troopers just
showed up in Iowa, New Hampshire, and
South Carolina."
The Politico Illustrated #19
'Newt Gingrich's secret weapon'
Pennsylvania Middle School Bans Ugh!s

Friday, January 27, 2012

"According to R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr., I, Newton
Leroy Gingrich, am (1) a 1960s generation
narcissist, (2) wayward and deviant, (3) a
self-promoter, (4) a tireless hustler,
(5) ostentatiously brainy, (6) a huckster,
(7) a girl-hopper, and (8) conservatism's
Bill Clinton.  Well, at least I'm not a nerd
like Emmett."
World's Worst Yobs #239
Jeffrey Kuhner
A picture is worth a thousand words, as this image of Rick
 Perry's presidential campaign shows.
Album Cover of Latest Release from
Newt Gingrich Tribute Band
It's What's Now for Breakfast, Republicans!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Magical Depressionism #28
Online Recruitment Firm Monster Worldwide
Lays Off 400 Employees
Lies?  Oh, Newt Gingrich wrote the book on that.
"But if I pull your finger, Jan, it might break
off and crumble into dust."
(h/t Montag)
Sad Sack As a Young Man

Sad Sack As an Old Man
Chris Christie Sez:  "Everything should
taste like bacon."
Gingrich Promises Mooning Colony by 2020
President Obama Pans
 Governor Brewer's Book
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #353
Jeff Fortenberry
"Watching Republicans beat each other to a
bloody pulp may someday be illegal.  So,
let's enjoy it while we can!"
What the Man in the Moon May Look Like in 2020

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

"Admit it, Barack!  I'm the best mummy, by far,
since Boris Karloff played Imhotep in 1932!"
Like the Theory of Evolution, some chickens found it hard to

the Theory of Liquefaction.
The third worst cartel in  the world is the NCAA. 
The first is OPEC and the second is Los Zetas.
The Gospel Truth Illustrated
'Multiple Realities' is a very scary idea, isn't it? 
'One Reality' is scary enough.
When Up In Smoke was made in 1978, the actors didn't
need to wear gas masks.

In the 2010 Japanese remake, they did.
No, this is not Hell.  It's just where we all go when we die.

This is Hell.
"What's that?"
"That's the husk of Tom DeLay, all that was left after his
lawyers sucked him dry trying to keep him out of jail."
Why is it that balls can never seem to get along?
"Good God, Haley,  I just realized you're the spitting image
of Boss Hogg!"
"Either way, still piss," says the Pessimist.
When you hear the expression, "Sounds like Newt is throwing
more red meat to the knuckledraggers," this is the meat being
#1 on the American Dental Association's
Enemies List
This happy chef has just learned what happens
when you put Gumby in the microwave.
The governor had hoped it all had been a bad dream, and
 that when he awoke, he wouldn't be back in Paint Creek,
 working for his dad as an emu-breeder. 
"Lemon tree very pretty and
the lemon flower is sweet
But the fruit of the poor lemon
is impossible to eat."
Governor Daniels Gives Incandescent Response to President
Obama's SOTU Address, Says He Has a Better Idea
Oklahoma Lawmaker Wants to Outlaw Use
of Human Fetuses in Soylent Green™
Newt or Mitt?  Poor Miss Poontney Spadafroont
couldn't make up her mind.
Take One!
In keeping with the current shortage of ADHD meds, the
 text of President Obama's SOTU address was written at
the 8th grade level this year.