Saturday, May 25, 2019

"I was the most transparent, and am, 
transparent President in history."
"Hush, hush
I thought I heard her calling my name now
Hush, hush"
World's Most Exclusive Trumpnik-Only Church Located
 in West Palm Beach, Florida
Warm Scuzzies #870
Fred Shipman
Bra Power!
Matt Shea Now Available in Convenient
 Butter Form for All Your Ultra-Healing 
All-Over Hydration Needs

Friday, May 24, 2019

"I will be here when you are ready to
roll with the changes," Ben says.
Tsk!  Tsk!  When Noah built the original ark,
he was 600 years old.  After it rained on
his ark for 40 days and 40 nights,
Noah didn't sue anybody.
Trump is not going to be shamed because it's not
possible to shame a sociopath.
Duck to Continue Nesting Atop Abe Lincoln's 
Head Until Trump Leaves Office
Texas Buffalo Chip
The Trumps Visit Arlington National Cemetery
Adventures in Aestheticism #187
Rudy Giuliani Shows How Drunktweeting Is Done
Want to die on Mount Everest?  Take a number.
Extremely Stable Genius Promises Farmers Mega Rolls of 
Toilet Paper Emblazoned with Trump-Faced One 
Hundred-Dollar Bills
First, Trump Screws You, Then Comes the Hush Money

Thursday, May 23, 2019

Adventures in Aestheticism #186
Post-Mortem Trump Checking His Bone Spurs
In her latest snit, Kellyanne Conway claimed 
Nancy Pelosi is the 6th richest member of Congress. 
That's not true: Pelosi is the 30th richest member of 
Congress (net worth: $16 million). And, according 
to The Hill, "Conway is worth between $10 million and 
$39.3 million, according to her 2017 financial disclosure. 
She and her husband purchased a 15,000-square-foot 
mansion in Northwest Washington for nearly $8 million 
several months after she joined the administration."
"I believe in the rule of law so long as I'm the law."
Warm Scuzzies #869
Stephen Calk
C'mon, Kellyanne, everybody knows you're a
shoeshiner, not a maid.

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Tory Humor
No Guitars, Just Vuvuzelas
Adventures in Aestheticism #185
Slip the Blood to Me Bud
Infrastructure Held Hostage
Day 1
The Infinite Blindfolded Typists Theorem 
states that hitting keys on a typewriter 
keyboard that can't be seen for an infinite 
amount of time will almost surely produce 
the complete works of William Shakespeare.
DressBarn Closes All 650 Stores, Just to Spite Trump
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #769
Bill Deagle
Maybe we should add incest and pedophilia to the
list of Trump's crimes.
Joe Biden Denies He's Ever Made a Cat Laugh
Oreo Gets Double Stuffed at HUD Hearing
And so Doug McLeod, a Mississippi GOPer,
punched his wife in the face.
And to think that, at $200,000 each, we could have 
purchased 7,850 Lamborghinis for $1.57 billion.  

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #768
J. Z. Knight
Isn't everything, including fascism?
Pete Hegseth holds degrees from Princeton and Harvard.  
As a Fox News personality and ultra-Trumpnik, Pete is
 doing his damndest to make these Ivy League schools
Profit-driven, advertiser-funded corporate media
know that more Americans care about the
vicissitudes of British royalty than they do
about climate change and mass extinctions.
It's time for Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats in the
House of Representatives to live up to their oath
of office by impeaching Donald John Trump.
One can only hope this is true.
Ah, the Global Geopolitics of Friendly Persuasion
"If Joseph built pyramids to store grain,
I can build pyramids to store Froot Loops,"
Carson rejoined.
Remember when, during the Obama Administration,
Republicans wanted to ban czars?

The Varmints Are Misbehaving
Adventures in Aestheticism #184
'Jay Sekulow Instructs Michael Cohen to Lie
 to Congress'

Monday, May 20, 2019

Fox News Personalities Diagnosed with 
Terminal Pachydermatitis
Words of Wisdom from the Fox News Host Who
Holds Degrees from Princeton and Harvard