Saturday, August 18, 2007

Hurricane Dean has devastated the Isle of Carville, Harold's
Fjord, and the DLC Peninsula. Forecasters say it's now a
Category 5 Storm, headed directly toward the Republican
At both ends of the Axle of Applesauce, there are big wheels
destined to fall off: Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity.
"You can't fool me, Ma. This isn't Honey Bunches of Oats!"
A pink flamingo duel is not for the squeamish.
Only the Amazon River has a wider mouth 
than Fred Thompson.
"Al, bring me the head of that Austin reporter who said
I dress like Walker, Texas Ranger, when I'm down at
the ranch."
The other day, Paul Wolfowitz told an Australian journalist,
"I really believe the people we are confronting are so inhuman
and so brutal and so wrong that, as in the Cold War, we should,
because of the strength of free societies, come out on top." And
who are the "people" he spoke of? Muslims. No wonder he has
expressed no regrets for being the architect of Iraq's destruction.
"That's Petraeus, Senator, not Betraeus."

"Look, look! Gamera's got a new girlfriend!"
There are nine boobs in this picture. Can you
spot the only one that's real?
Presidential Seal Turns State's Evidence
Against Bush Administration

Scott Jennings was really miffed when he
was outmaneuvered for the hand of Jenna
Bush by another aide to Karl Rove.
Mattel Adds 9 Million Chinese-Made Sex Toys to Recall List
"Hmmm, I always thought the Highway to Hell
would be wider than this."
"This is DA1939 calling. Where's the rest of
the goddamned blitzkreig? Over."
Mitt Romney Introduces New Line of Designer Flip-Flops

Friday, August 17, 2007

Man Loses Virginity, Says He Is Disinclined to Search for It
"Stephen, I'm broke. Could you spot me $100
until the end of the month? Your pal, Tony."
Rubber Maid
Police say the liquor-store robber was easily recognized
because he didn't know the difference between duct tape
and masking tape.
In a botched attempt to plagiarize a former Vice President,
Karl Rove yesterday described President Bush's critics as
"elite, effete snobs." What Spiro Agnew actually said was
"an effete corps of impudent snobs."
Richard Stickler, an Assistant Secretary of Labor, has been
protecting mine owners' safety and health since 2006.
Annual 'Ride of the Nonpareil ' by the
Intercollegiate Society of Individualists

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Textual critics have determined that The Gospel
According to Petraeus was actually written by an
anonymous White House scribe.
"Sorry, gentlemen, but all of our copies of Harry
Potter and the Deathly Hallows are checked out."
Karl Rove in Mourning for Lies Left Untold
If, as the sign says, "Large sturgeon jump in the river during
the summer and fall months," where do they stay during
the winter and spring?
John Gibbons Comes in Dead Last at the
Gillette Foamy Shaving Contest.
There's one in every crowd, even at funerals.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

"Listen, Christian, I'm supposed to smite you on the
right cheek first, then the left!"
"Bless this tank, O Lord, that with it we may blow our
enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."
Middle East Peace Process Washes Up on Lebanese Beach
Michael O'Hanlon has been consistently wrong about
the Iraq War. Well, as the saying goes, "consistency
is the hobgoblin of little minds."

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Here's the logo for Dubya, the new television comedy
produced in China and imported by Wal-Mart into
the United States.
"No, I'm not a cash cow.

"This is a cash cow."
Conrad Black

Conrad Blacker

Conrad Blackest

"It's hard to imagine, dear, but once upon a time,
people actually believed the Constitution was
something more than a moldy old document
stored here in the National Archives. They
must've been pretty naive back in those days."
Lou Dobbs Trying to Outrun an Illegal Alien on ESPN
Woo-Hoo Personals #3
Woman with One Gold Shoe Wants to
Meet Man with One Red Shoe
One of these Kashmiri women is a lobbyist for Arco Textiles.
Would you care to guess which one?
"Maybe you shouldn't have told the Jain to shove
ahimsa up his ass, Brother Sakhorn."
"Susan Ralston is learning to 'sing'.
Got you booked on the 3:10 to Yuma.
See you soon. Dan Evans."
Yet Another Recipe for Death by Chocolate
Congress Trying to Subpoena Karl Rove
Too late, Michael Essien learned that cannibals
were some of the hungriest soccer fans around.
"Ali Akbar AK-47!"

Monday, August 13, 2007

After he retires at the end of August, this is where Karl Rove,
the 'Architect of the Bush Presidency', will live, a mansion
he designed himself.