Saturday, January 19, 2013

Warm Scuzzies #361
Dixie State College/Dixie State University
Mike O'Neal, Republican Speaker of the Kansas House of 
Representatives, Prays for Obama's Death, Not Knowing
God Is a Mulatto
Tim Donnelly Sez:  “Guns are used to defend our property 
and our families and our faith and our freedom, and they 
are absolutely essential to living the way God intended 
for us to live.”
[Like Jesus said, "Praise the Lord and pass the
Meet David A. Keene, President of the NRA.  
His former wife of 32 years, Diana---David
 has been married three times---went to jail
 for embezzling hundreds of thousands of 
dollars from the American Conservative 
Union, which David chaired for 27 years.  
David's son, who is also named David, has
 spent ten years in prison for discharging 
firearm in a fit of road rage while working
as director of online communications for
the American Conservative Union.  As a
young man, David worked as a politi-
cal assistant to Vice President Spiro
Agnew, who was forced to resign from
office in disgrace.  Mr. Keene, in other
 words, is a paragon of conservative 
Republican values.
David Brooks' Eyebrows Totally Path-
ological, Completely Out of Control

Friday, January 18, 2013

Naked-Image Scanners to Be Removed from U. S. Airports;
Playmobil Version Remains Popular with Kids
American Schutzstaffel #12
Warm Scuzzies #360
Tom Selleck
John Mackey won't say
'Fascism' anymore.  But
he will say 'Government-
Oxymorons for Our Time #144
Sports Hero
"Who's that?"
"That's John Barrow.  He works in the
Entertainment Division of the NRA."
Gunhuggers are always so proud of how much they've 
learned about guns from personal experience.  That's 
like being proud of how much one has learned about 
STDs from personal experience.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

"I'm the NRA."

"No, I'm the NRA."

"You're both wrong:  I'm the NRA."
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #21
Loy Mauch
Those nullifiers and secessionists calling for a new civil 
war have a point:  America's first civil war resulted in 
only 625,000 dead and 338,000 wounded.  Surely with 
today's high-tech weaponry, we can do better than that.
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #161
Andrew Thomas and Joe Arpaio
Rude Rhymes #61

Norway Rat

Larry Pratt
“But, you know, if Florida Atlantic University intends 
to fire me, ultimately, how good of an institution is 
it? If they’re not going to stand up for free speech 
and ideas and things of the like, then I’m not too 
sure I want to be here, either.  Anyway, let's get
back to today's topic:  the faked moon landings."
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #458
Joe Carr
Should Mark Sanford be given a second chance to finish 
the Appalachian Trail?

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

JPMorgan Chase Cuts CEO Dimon's Pay in Half—to 
$11.5 Million; Bank's Flags Lowered to Half-Staff
It's not just that so many Americans own 
so many guns.  It's that so many Americans 
with guns seem so ready and willing---almost
eager---to shoot someone.
Snug Harbor, a New Eleemosynary Institution, Founded
to Provide Shelter for Victims of Hurricane Obama
With a gullet roomier than a pelican's, Ed Meese 
isn't dead yet and is threatening to get better.
Sign of the Times #40
Bad Will Hunting
Warm Scuzzies #359
Carmen Ortiz
Limbaugh's David
Former Aide Says Michele Bachmann Developed 'Unnatural',
'Rasputin-Like' Relationship with Debate Coach during 
2012 Presidential Campaign
World's Worst Yobs #275
Jack Hoogendyk
NRA Shooting Game 'No Longer Suitable for
4-Year-Olds', Still Suitable for Testosterone-
Poisoned Adolescents Thrilled by 'Instense'
and 'Realistic' Violence

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

South Florida Tea Party Dumps Teabags into Atlantic 
Ocean, Changes Name to National Liberty Federation
Honk! If You Heart Drilling George Burnett
Sign of the Times #39
Are Screwy Squirrel and Gyro Gearloose in cahoots 
with Hitler and Stalin to grab our nation's guns?
Like Jim Hightower says, "There's nothing in the middle
of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos."
Hey, it's still four days until 'Gun Appreciation Day' and 
already 836 Americans have died from gunfire since the 
Newtown massacre.  God bless America!
Simple Simon Met Sheriff Denny Peyman Who
 Said He Was Even Open to Allowing People to 
Own Hand Grenades “If It Was Necessary for 
"Doping?  Do I look like I've been
Would someone please explain why anyone should give
this serial perjurer the time of day?
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #457
Steve Stockman
White House Rejects Texas Secession; Nation Mourns
Scientists Spot 'Precursor to Life' in Deep Space; 
Process of 'Palingenesis' Believed to Have Seeded
 Planetary Life

Monday, January 14, 2013

"Marsha Blackburn, when the gov-
ernment shutdown comes, I want
to spend that time with you!"
Raúl Labrador
William Paul 'Goes Galt', Is Charged with Underage 
Drinking, Disorderly Conduct, Being Intoxicated 
and Disruptive, and Assaulting a Flight Attendant
Huntsman-Manchin Tag Team to Challenge

Afa and Sika, the Wild Partisans, to 'No 
Labels' Doomsday Cage Match
Lincoln Makes Surprise Appearance at 
Golden Globe Awards