Saturday, June 08, 2013

Geologists Disagree as to Which Is Older:
John Dingell or the Layer of Coconino 
Sandstone in the Grand Canyon
Believe it or not, this man swears his real name is 
'Faris Fink' and that he starred as Dr. Spock in a 2010
$50,000 IRS parody of Star Trek.  Whoever first uttered
 the words, "Truth is stranger than fiction," was a genius.
Unfortunately, it didn't rain on this anti-gay parade
in Georgia.
Camels Walk a Mile for Old Man
"Pssst!  Remember privacy?  That once existed
before a small group of Americans decided it 
would be fun---and profitable---to spy on 
everybody else.  So, mind your Ps & Qs,
if you know what I mean, and I know that
you do."
'Phone Spying Prevented Second Coming', Sources Say
"Jeepers,  I'm not offended at all!  People ask me all 
the time where I got these peepers."
"How do you do.  You must be a Redskin fan from DC."
Cross-country skiing in Sweden is one of the best ways
in the world to experience the great outdoors.
If you need a crane operator, 
do NOT hire Demolition Man!
She named it 'Spork', he named it 'Foon'.
Spot the Blitzerbot!
Java the Butt, Co-Author of the Patriot Act, Sez:
 "Seizing phone records of millions of innocent 
people is excessive and un-American." 
[He didn't just open the barn door that let
the horses out; he removed the hinges and
sold them for scrap.]
The average CEO in 2012 earned 354 times more than the 
average worker.  This is what is called a 'fact'.  Lucky for 
us, facts don't matter.
"I hate to be the one to tell you this, James, but
I'm afraid you have contracted a terminal case
of the Clapper."
Only the Theory of Intelligent Design can explain the
physiognomy of the Sarcastic Fringehead fish.
Sorry, Mr. President, nobody is listening to your calls.
"President Obama on Friday defended the government’s 
collection of data on the phone records of millions 
of Americans, saying that it was a modest encroachment 
on privacy that is justified in order to protect us from 
the IRS and other terrorists."
Zuckerberg Releases Statement Calling PRISM 
Charges 'Outrageous'
Some say Senator Mitch McConnell 'sucks',  some say
he 'blows'.  In truth, he's ambisextrous and can do
both at the same time.
Romney Says Hurricane Adam (aka 'The Sextortionist') 
'Didn't Come at the Right Time'

Friday, June 07, 2013

Big Brother Has a New Name
Not since FDR had a President of the United
States served four terms.  But Barack Bush,
against all odds, had done it.
Director of National Intelligence Sad That He and His
Boss Have Lost All Credibility

Thursday, June 06, 2013

Man or beast?  Neither:  it's a woman.

National Security Agency Reportedly Pissed That
Fearguth Doesn't Use His Cellphone Often Enough
What Mitch McConnell Looks Like When He's
Feeling Intimidated
"The bike lobby is an all-powerful enterprise, right up
there with the Wizard of Oz and the Queen of Hearts."
World's Worst Yobs #288
Nick Searcy
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #502
Jim Bridenstine
There are 'paid liars', like Jay Carney, and then there
are 'overpaid liars', like Darrell Issa.

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Game of Thrones debuted on HBO on April 17, 2011.  
Here we see Osama bin Laden watching the first
episode.  Before he could view the third episode,
Osama was assassinated on May 2, 2011.  C'est la vie.
"I am NOT Louie Gohmert!"

"I am NOT Louie Gohmert, either!"

"Without a doubt, I AM Louie Gohmert!"
American Schutzstaffel #25
"Granted, evolution sounded good in theory.
But, in practice, it produced humans, and 
that was its fatal flaw."
Some faces are so ugly they should be illegal.  Take
Chuck Grassley's, for instance.
"Gee whiz, the hormone level created by nature sets in 
place the possibility for dick taters like me to occur."
Flynn Beck, Glenn Beck's Long-Lost Twin Brother, 
Announces 'Hairier-Than-Thou' Crusade
Edith Jones, 5th U. S. Circuit Court of Appeals Judge,
Said to Be Predisposed to Racist Imbecility
You can tell from looking that Rebekah Brooks would
never engage in phone hacking.
Alabama Wife Takes to Facebook to Warn
 Meshach and Abednego to Stop Sending 
Pictures of Themselves to Her Husband
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #26
Gordon Gee

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Insiders say God wept when House GOP members
 asserted they prayed and He told them to keep
 John Boehner as Speaker.
Phil Bryant believes our schools are mediocre because
there are too many mothers in the workplace.  Why
Mississippi has such a mediocre governor, he didn't say.
Google Glass Porn Ap Banned; Developers Frantically
Seeking Alternative Raison D'être for Geeky Gear
Members of British Slavocracy Auction Banksy 
Graffito, Slave Labour, for $1.1 Million