Saturday, January 29, 2011

Who Is Really Behind the Egyptian Unrest
Hoser Mubarak Pisses on His People
Sideshow Freaks Escape from Chicago Carnival
"Remember Adam and Eve:  no hyphenated sex,
missionary position only."
If, as Rep. Duncan D. Hunter (R-CA) argues, it is
unconstitutional for the federal government to build
bike paths, because bikes are used for recreation, then
is it unconstitutional for the federal government to
build highways, because they are used by motorhomes,
travel trailers, and other recreational vehicles?
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #266
Mark Biltz
"You're not the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, are you?"
Oxymorons for Our Time #83
Timeless Principles
Hot Topic at World Economic Forum:
'The Dictatorship of the Corporatariat'
Jamie Dimon Delivers Furious Tirade Against 'Banker
Bashing' at World Economic Forum, Then Goes to His
Hotel Room and Pouts
Warm Scuzzies #135
Combined Systems International

Friday, January 28, 2011

The Wild One at 72
Flag Desecration #40
"You are exceptional, Mr. Chief Justice!"
"You are, too, Mr. President!"
Ken Ham Denies Eunuch Horns Are Depicted
on Noah's Ark at Creation Museum
"To those of you who are suggesting that castration
helps reindeer handle climate change, I say, 'Up your
ass with a 50-yard pass!'"
World's Worst Yoobs #86
Noemie Emery
"Paul, an insider at Akin Gump tells us that you're now referred
to by your fellow partners as 'Morongoof'.  Would you care to
comment on that?"
Talk of Bipartisan Progress Fading in Arizona
"O Lord, please let it not become widely known that I paid
for my college education with Social Security benefits."
Gorilla Credits Insanity 60-Day Total-Body Conditioning
Program for Improved Posture
Charlie Sheen Hospitalized with Hernia After Laughing Too
Hard at Ruptured Duck Joke
Hawaii May Sell Obama's Birth Records for $100 Each, or
Buy Two, Get One Free 

Thursday, January 27, 2011

"Mom, Dad's been sniffing the
bath salts again!"
McDonald's University, more exclusive than Harvard, is where
you learn that Fruit and Maple Oatmeal contains no maple.
Barack Obama's 'Sputnik Moment'

Sarah Palin's 'Spudnut Moment'
Dennis Kucinich, 'America's Most Courageous Congressman',
Sues House Cafeteria for $150,000 for Putting 'America's Most
Dangerous Olive Pit' in His 'America's Most Progressive
Char-Grilled Chicken Wrap'
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #265
Harrison Schmitt
From the Land of 10,000 Lakes

From the Land of 10,000 Laughs
'Negative Discourse'? Is this the same thing as
 Talking Backwards? Is it when you take back
 today something you said yesterday?  Or is it
what happens when you stop talking?
Governor Sanford could see the Appalachian Trail had
changed a lot since he had last hiked it with Maria.
Ayn Rand Before She Started
Receiving Social Security

Oxymorons for Our Time #82
Bankers' Contrition

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

To help reduce the national debt, President Obama is
proposing a new national 'Win the Future' lottery.
"It's one of the new electronic hybrids:  when you get tired of
signing autographs with it, you can smoke it."
When he's not hunting big game, Representative Paul Broun
(R-GA) sits in his office and heckles Barack Obama on Twitter.
He's collecting these and will soon publish them in book form,
with the title, The Courage to Tweet.
Rude Rhymes #45

Screwy Tortilla

Tony Scalia
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #264
Lonnie Napier
Before you laugh at the prospect of Bristol Palin starring in
Dancing on the Radio, just remember that the Edgar Bergen/
Charlie McCarthy ventriloquist act was very popular on the
radio back in the 1930s.
"Attaboy, John!  You made it all the way through the SOTU
and didn't cry once!"
Just as the 'meat' in this Cheesy Beefy Melt contains only
 36% beef, Taco Bell's food isn't even 'Mexican Food'; it's
'Mexican-Inspired Food'.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Have you seen the latest book written by
a recovering couch potato?
Warm Scuzzies #134
Kel-Tec CNC, Inc.
Marie-Catherine Klarkowski is a
Munich dentist whose clientele
includes some of Europe's
finest yodelers.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #263
Dallas Woodhouse
When it came to music, the tiger held very strong opinions
about what it liked and what it didn't like.