Saturday, July 27, 2013

Paula Deen Disguised as Aunt Jemima Exposed as
Get-Rich Quick Scheme for Hoecake Cooks
Little Know Fact #42
Vladimir Putin is the star of the Russian-language version
 of Hillbilly Handfishin'.
"Weiner Will Not Pull Out"
Superfluous Redundancies #2
Close Proximity

Friday, July 26, 2013

Old Men with Guns #11
James Robert Crocker
Tennessee Gold Diggers
Iowa Melonhead Reports Picking Up
Drug Mules Personally with His Bare
The Ginni Thomas Statue of Flibbertygibbets
"The secret of my success is really quite simple:
I never go anywhere without my Hypnotoad."

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Notorious Winebibber Warns Latin America Against
 Legalizing Drugs
Flag Desecration #68
Superfluous Redundancies #1
Corrupt Politician
Warm Scuzzies #413
First National Bank
Wellston, Ohio
"I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener
that is what I'd truly like to be.
 And if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener 
everyone would be in love with me."

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

George H. W. Bush Shaves His Head in Solidarity with
2-Year-Old Cancer Patient; George W. Bush Moves
to Baghdad in Solidarity with Victims of Car Bombs
The Moment Ken Cuccinelli Realized
That 'Cooch', His Nickname, Is Slang
for 'Vagina'
"In case you've been wondering, not just the NSA is
 keeping an eye on you."
With a birth control pill taped to his nose and wearing
condoms on each of his fingers, Glenn Beck demonstrated
 to his Internet audience today how to perform oral sex on
 your girlfriend without removing your cap and without
getting her pregnant.
Iggy Pop Pooped
"Yes, I have horns, and yes, I am horny,
but I'm a lizard, not a goddam toad!"
What Herman Cain wants to know is:  do studies show that
more babies are conceived on 'Hump Day' than on any other
day of the week?
"OK, you guys, it's time to do the Hokey Pokey!"
Like his online statements, Purdue University President
Mitch Daniels grows shorter and shorter over time.
Mark Kessler:  Chief of Police, Invectivore, Gunhugger,
Avid Birder
American Schutzstaffel #29

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

"I LOVE the smell of a wet dog in the morning!"
Victoria Arbiter, CNN Royal Commentator, Sez:
"This is how brilliant a royal Kate is. There are
women throughout British Royal Family history
who have panicked over not being able to deliver a
Prince and here we are. Kate did it — first time."
You can always tell when a group of black youths
is approaching Victor Davis Hanson.
Six Flags Over Syria
If Samsung Smart TV is so damn smart, why
can you still watch Duck Dynasty and
Hillbilly Handfishin' on it?
Speaking of 'Crimes Against Nature' . . .
"Crank?  What crank?"

Monday, July 22, 2013

"It's a Prince!"
Former 'Southern Avenger' Jack Hunter Resigns,
Senator Paul Stands Behind His Resignation
Warm Scuzzies #412
Buckeye Firearms Association
"I don't drink beer,  I drink Budweiser!"
Adam Kokesh to Run for President in 2020 on
Platform to Abolish Presidency

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #508
Brad Thor
Geraldo Rivera Gets His 70-Year-Old Head
Grafted Onto a 50-Year-Old Body
If you accidentally compare Steve King to a rabid dog,
don't worry:  he will take it as a compliment.