"Party of Lincoln?  Bah! Humbug!"

Even in Bedlam, Larry Klayman really didn't fit in.

"Some mornings I wake up a Hard-Shell Republican 

and some mornings an Independent."

"Independent?"

"You know, a Soft-Shell Republican."

"I’m terrified of Donald Trump. I’m terrified of Hillary

 Clinton. And there are days when I'm terrified of myself!"

"I give Obama tremendous credit.  It's just too bad he

was born in Kenya."

Rightbloggers and Other 

Internet Biohazards #154

Liberty News Now

Warm Scuzzies #699

Beth Van Duyne

Would somebody please pull Donald Trump's finger?

Trump Unable to Crack Ass Ceiling

Frankenstein Brothers Reject Effort to Meet

with Their Monster

"When I was growing up, my mother always told me,

'Do and say the opposite of what Trump does and 

says and you'll be a good little boy'."

Warm Scuzzies #598

Bobby Hughes

"Did the Democratic convention make you feel like a weak 

and useless white male? That's why I didn't watch. I played 

with my Dilbert instead."

Have you looked at Trump's Facebook page lately?

"Yes sir, that's my baby

No sir, I don't mean maybe

Yes sir, that's my baby now."

This Week in WakiLeaks #4

Melania Trump Facing Another Fine PR Mess

Clown Hall #6

Boris Brexit

The Acolyte Beseeches the Dreadlord

Melania Trump's University Diploma Joins Donald

Trump's Tax Returns in Hiding at Undisclosed Location

Trump Takes Evasive Action to Avoid Salvos

 from the Democratic National Convention

James O'Keefe Goes Undercover as a Hillary Supporter

Outside the DNC, Gets Roughed Up by Fellow Ruffians

After reading what Donald Trump said about

hitting him, Michael Bloomberg gave him a book.

"Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear. 

The Lone Pikachu rides again!"

"Surely you know, Junior, that the line you accuse Obama

of plagiarising from your RNC speech he had used in 2010

and Bush had used in 2001.  Surely."

“Are you being sarcastic?” Kilmeade asked.

“Of course I’m being sarcastic,” responded Trump.

 "I was born sarcastic.  The first words out of my 

mouth in the delivery room were, 'Ma, is this the

 best you can do?'"

World's Worst Yobs #362

Mark Antonio Wright

Donald Trump Suffers Mascot Blowback

From: The Independent Order of Strange Bed Fellows

To: Republican Party

"Sleep Tight and Don't Let the Bugs Bite"

As he ascended the escalator in Trump Tower, he thought, 

"This must be the Stairway to Heaven because the streets 

there are paved with gold, too. God, how I hate gold!"

It's always good to see logos repurposed, instead of being 

thrown away.

Let's make a deal:  after we lock Hillary up for using a 

private email server, let's put Trump on trial for treason

and then lock him up with Hillary.

Speaker Ryan Sidelined with Case of Late-Onset

Putin Pox

"Hey, Congressman Ryan, if Vladimir Putin is a 'thug', 

what does that make his BFF, Donald Trump, your party's 

nominee for President?"

Because of his cozy relationship with Russia's oligarchs, 

Paul Manafort, Trump's campaign manager, doesn't

 want the world to see Trump's tax returns, either.

True to his word, when Donald Trump

lost the election, Phil Robertson went

into hiding.

After Trump expressed his hope that Russia will 

release Hillary's deleted emails, Lavrentiy Beria 

said he was already on it.

"Like Jonah Goldberg, we Juggalos contain 

'symphonies of bitterness'."

World's Worst Yoobs #168

Scottie Nell Hughes

Leader of the Dovetonsils Wing of the Ernie Bros to 

Recite His 'Ode to Donald the Mean Hillary Hater' 

at the Democratic National Convention

Will Angry Ernie Bros Help Usher in the 

Donald Trump Regime?

Trump Wind Farm

Next Up from Julian Assange and WikiLeaks:

Donald Trump's Tax Returns

According to Bill O'Reilly, the workers who helped 

build the White House had been the black men standing 

on street corners holding 'Will Work for Food' signs.

Will Barron Trump be able to play a round of golf inside 

the White House like he does now in Trump Tower?

"Bring me the head of Magilla Gorilla!"

"Mr. Simon, at 72, aren't you a little old

to be wearing a Fake Barf shirt?"

"Ah, how I love the smell of Brylcreem!"

Return with Us to the Days of Yesteryear,

Before the Advent of Pre-Shredded Cheese

Little Known Fact #64

Donald Trump's hair does not do its own stunts.  It 

has a stunt double that moonlights as a groundhog.

Justice Does Not Sleep Forever