Saturday, November 08, 2008

Even if Christmas is someday driven from the public square,
don't despair: you can still celebrate it in the same way Bill
O'Reilly does today---in the privacy of your own bathtub.
The only other time Roberta thought her son might be
hanging out with a slow crowd was when she saw that
Joe Lieberman, his pal, still hadn't gotten around to
affixing his 'Another Democrat for McCain' sticker
to the bumper of his Model T Ford.
Should a man have to die? Not if he was John Leonard.
Reserve Your Tee Time Now at the World Class
Three Losers Golf Club in Myrtle Beach

Ronald McDonald to Advise Obama's Transition Team
on Best Ways to Hit the Ground Running
Fearguth's Rules of Order #18
It's definitely a faux pas to tell a Ferruginous Pygmy Owl
that it looks 'a little rusty'.
"Smile, Virgil! Defeat is Goode!"
There would be hell to pay when Sarah found out whose
idea it was to welcome her back to Alaska with
lead-filled balloons.
Robert Novak, touting Newt Gingrich for President in 2012,
says,"He'll only be 69, and that's three years younger than
McCain was this year."
Ledeen-Podhoretz Clusterfuck Bomb Goes . . .
President-Elect Obama Apologizes to Nancy Reagan
for His Being So Young and Her Being So Old
New Rasmussen Poll Shows 64 Percent of Republicans and 100
Percent of Democrats Want Palin to Run for President in 2012
In a move obviously designed to placate younger Democrats,
Senator Robert Byrd (D-VA), age 90, will shuffle aside to allow

Daniel Inouye (D-HI), age 84, to take over the reins
of the Senate Appropriations Committee.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Daniel Craig Focuses on James Bond, Continues to
Explore the Depths of the Iconic Superspy
In a just world, Joe Lieberman would be excluded from
the caucuses of both political parties.
He had thought he was too old and jaded to ever have
that feeling again. But there was no doubt about it:
it was love at first sight.
Silvio and Jacques Listening to Joke About Obama Being
“Young, Handsome, and Tanned”
World's Worst Yobs #58
Jon Meacham
What Really Happened When Harry and Joe Had
Their Little Meeting

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Barney claims he was suffering from Bush Derangement
Syndrome when he bit the Reuters reporter.
“We are currently in — or the National Bureau of Economic
Research will shortly determine we’re in — a recession. Also,
Barack Obama won — or the National Bureau of Economic
Research will shortly determine Barack Obama won — the
election in a landslide.”
Erick the Red Announces 'Operation Leper'; Colony of
Political Outcasts to Be Supervised by 'Our Lady of
the Internment Camps', Michelle Malkin
World's Worst Yobs #57
Erick Erickson
Well put, Howard!
Well, it looked like life would return to unclogging drains
and unstopping commodes for Joe the Plumber.
While John warmed his hands over the superheated crowd,
Sarah sulked.
Writing in the Wall Street Journal, Jeffrey Scott Shapiro
says, "The treatment of Bush has been a disgrace. What
must our enemies be thinking?" Here's one conjecture:
"Woot! Woot!"
Sarko the Giant Digs Deep for the Fabled 'Wooly Booger'
"Well, girls, it's not exactly the White House, but I
guess it'll do until 2012."

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Joe Lieberman Congratulates Obama on Victory;
"Time to Put Considerations of My Reprehensible
Treachery Aside," He Says
"Todd Palin here. Just wanted to thank all those
generous GOP donors who gave $20,000 to upgrade
my wardrobe. You guys are awesome!"
"After a three-fall, no-time-limit match wrestling
with the better angels of my nature, Tom, I have
finally decided to endorse Barack Obama for
President in yesterday's election. But I hasten to
add that tomorrow is another day and I, the Dean
of the Washington Press Corps™, need to earn another
dollar. So I reserve the right to revise and extend
my endorsements as needed."
This just in: the punditocracy has decided that Barack
Obama should govern as a 'center-right leftist' on Mondays,
Wednesdays, and Fridays; as a 'center-left rightist' on Tuesdays
and Thursdays; and as a 'left-right centrist' on weekends.
A word of advice: if Sarah Palin makes a run for the
Republican presidential nomination in 2012, she needs
to get a voice transplant.
Remember the invocation uttered by Arnold Conrad, the former
pastor of Grave Evangelical Free Church? He prayed: "There
are millions of people around this world praying to their god —
whether it’s Hindu, Buddha, Allah — that McCain's opponent
wins, for a variety of reasons. And Lord, I pray that you would
guard your own reputation because they’re going to think that
 their god is bigger than You if that happens. So I pray that
You will step forward and honor your own name in all that
happens between now and Election Day.” Do you suppose
Reverend Conrad might be shopping around for a
bigger god today?
Ruminating over the election results, Fred Barnes said,
"We have a center-right country, and now we can be more right
than center, and I think it's moved a little to the center from the
right, but we're definitely going to have a center-left Washington."
Just a hunch, but unless you don't mind getting lost, it would
probably be inadvisable to ask Fred for driving directions,
especially right after he pulls his head out of his ass.
George Walker Bush will be remembered favorably for one thing:
as President he didn't propose the re-institution of Negro slavery.
Vice President's Permanent Address to Be Some
Undisclosed Location Along the Snake River

"Will I be back? You betcha!"
Winning is such sweet sorrow.
Latest Fashion in Sunday-Go-to-Meeting Attire

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Barack Obama,
the next President of the United States."
What It Feels Like to Vote for Barack Obama

What It Feels Like to Vote for John McCain

Ayers, Farrakhan Vote at Same Polling Location as
Michelle and Barack Obama; Republican Epidemiologists
Predict a
Major Outbreak of Cooties-by-Association
"I hope you'll understand my rationale, Senator Obama,
when I unleash my guilt-by-association attacks on you.
You do live on the same planet as Jeremiah Wright,
Bill Ayers, and Louis Farrakhan, do you not?"
Life was hard enough for Mr. Bill during his Saturday Night
Live years. But when he was forced by economic hard times
to eke out a miserable living as a soccer ball, he began to
reconsider Camus' thesis in The Myth of Sisyphus, namely,
the only serious philosophical problem is whether it's
efficacious to cry out, "Ohh Nooo!!!", before committing suicide.
At John McCain's last stop on the campaign trail in 2008,
the only member of the press that showed up was a
photographer from My Weekly Reader.
Drudge Report Funnies #21
"Obama family in Kenya slaughters bulls, sheep,
goats and chickens at 'victory party'..."