Saturday, December 24, 2011

Gingrich Attacks Virginia for Not Believing in Him,
Likens Her Disbelief to the Japanese Attack on
Pearl Harbor
Christmas Tree for Those on the Dark Side of the Force
Judge Rules Charlie White Ineligible to Serve as Indiana's
Secretary of State Because of 'Extreme Irony'

Friday, December 23, 2011

"Remember, baby, these are only $100 bills
 I'm stuffing down your pants. I only bet
$10,000 on a sure thing, like when
 I'm debating Republicans."
"OK, I admit I don't have a raison d'être.
So where do I go from here?"
Want to be a billionaire?  Well, first of all,
you've got to eat like Michael Bloomberg.
Where were you during the Summer of Love, 1967?  Some,
 no doubt, were at the corner of Haight and Ashbury in
San Francisco.  Others, like Fearguth, weren't there.
He did manage, however, to stand there at the same
corner in 1987, twenty years later.  And he took this
picture as a memento.  
Where Humans Got the Idea of the 'Hot Dog'

Where Humans Got the Idea of 'Happiness'
"What a dumb fucking game!
Humans must have invented it!"
By now, you've probably heard of 'Robocallers'.
You may have even been called by one.
If you're not squeamish, here's what one
looks like.  If you are, look away.
After what was called 'The Über-Flip of All His Flops',
 Mitt Romney landed in Mormon Heaven  (which can be
better understood if you click on the chart [above]).
When Roger Ailes and Richard Nixon met in the Oval Office
 of the White House way back when, they debated the topic,
'Be It Resolved: That When It Comes Time to Saving the
Constitution, Some People Gotta Die!'  The affirmative
side won.
We featherless bipeds need to be more thankful for
our shoes.  Where would we be without them?  And
where would our shoes be without shoemakers?
Here we have a picture of a prehistoric fossilized raptor
egg nest. This generation of raptors obviously didn't
 have a future so bright it had to wear shades.
"This was the first version of my Dad, back when everything
 was still analog and before he became famous as 
'Congressman Ron Paul'. 
"You think I'm big now? Shoot, you should see me when
I'm elected President of the United States. Why, I'll be
bigger than William Howard Taft!"
When we say something is 'Priceless', we're saying it has a
value which cannot be measured in monetary terms. In
 other words, we're saying that money is not the ultimate
standard of value, i. e., that there's a higher standard
than money for measuring the value of things.  But,
what might that standard be?
In all the world, there's hardly anything sadder than a
rickshaw graveyard.
Back in the Day When People Believed Santa Claus
Was an Illegal Alien
"My beard?  Oh, it's just an optical illusion.  It's
actually a pair of Light Wash Rewind Jeggings
I bought at JC Penney."
How Frothy Earned His Wings
Scientists are saying that 'Continental Grift' has significantly
slowed since Sarah Palin more or less disappeared from
the political lithosphere.
"If you don't ask, I won't tell!"
When racist comments in his old newsletters came back to
haunt him, Ron Paul realized that just because you have
freedom of the press doesn't mean you necessarily
have to exercise it foolishly.
Once again, Callista had forgotten to pack the Gas-X®.
Rude Rhymes #54
Rotten Smell

Brent Bozell
Zombie Cardinal

Cardinal Zombie
Sandy Weill, former CEO and Chairman of Citigroup,
needs liquidity and so he's selling his super yacht,
April Fool, for a paltry $69.5 million.  This is not a joke.
Joe Klein Sez:  "Rick Perry is a mud-track biker when it comes
 to fluency, slipping and sliding past proper usage into the
realm of the nitwit ridiculous."

Thursday, December 22, 2011

George Packer:  Not Just a Liberal Hawk,
But a Liberal Schmohawk
Newt Gingrich says, "I think the key to Ron Paul's volunteer
base is people who want to legalize drugs."  Apparently, the
former Speaker thinks that's a bug, not a feature.
When you, like the Duchess of Cambridge, go stepping
out for the evening, do you always make sure your
jewels are well-chosen?


Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Petty Officer 2nd Class Marissa Gaeta and Petty Officer
3rd Class Citlalic Snell Share a 'First Kiss' Honoring the
 Old Navy Tradition of Flogging Rick Perry's Dog
Warm Scuzzies #249
Vern Buchanan
"What's your cat's name?"
"Ken Langone."
"Why did you name it that?"
"It's named after the co-founder of Home Depot, who
said, 'I am a fat cat, I'm not ashamed. If you mean
by fat cat that I’ve succeeded, yeah, then I’m a fat cat.
I stand guilty of being a fat cat'."
Of the protester who stands with the  99%,
Bernard Marcus, co-founder of Home Depot,
says, "Who gives a crap about some imbecile? 
Are you kidding me?"
Japanese Nuclear Scientists Devise New Time Unit, the
STFU (Shut the Fukushima Up), Which Lasts for 40 Years
Ronald McDonald Discovers Wendy's Stratagem for
Dethroning Burger King
Greedheads Galore #20
John Allison

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

In case you've forgotten, Rick Santorum has stated that
sex acts between mutually consenting adult mammals, such
 as between Steven Seagal and a panda, do not have a
constitutional right to privacy.  Rick, you see, likes to look.
"From the moment you said, 'Say ah', I began to
suspect you weren't a proper otolaryngologist."
September 11, 2001:  the Day Osama Bin Laden
Attacked the World Trade Center

December 14, 2011:  the Day Barack Obama Announced He
Would Sign the National Defense Authorization Act of 2012
Disgraced 'Sheriff Joe' Announces Retirement,
Moves, Quite Appropriately, to Escondido
[Spanish for 'Hidden']
Will Ann Coulter ever confess that she stole 'Easy Skanking',
 her theme song, from Bob Marley?