Goes Good with Strawberries and Shortcake

"No, I'm not Froggy the Gremlin and you can't

plunk my Magic Twanger!"

SecDef PO'ed at Pinkos

It took over fifty years, but the duck-and-cover craze

has finally reached China.

"This way to the casketeria, ladies and gentlemen!"

"Remind me again: which one of us is the namesake of

Donald Diamond, Senator McCain's favorite developer?"

"My company lost $704 million in 2007.

Me? I was compensated to the tune of

$121.5 million. Send your condolences

to angelomozilo@solongsuckers.com."

Young Penitent Trying to Imagine Sins Not Yet Committed

Georgetown University Loses Feith; Hope and Love

on the Way Out, Too

Geoff Garin, the Clinton campaign's chief strategist,

writes, "The bottom line is that one campaign really

has engaged in a mean-spirited, unfair character attack

on the other candidate -- but it has been Obama's

campaign, not ours." To accuse an opponent of

negative campaigning is negative campaigning,

is it not?

Richard Gere was skeptical of the reports of penis theft

coming out of Africa, but he was taking no chances.

Pastor Wright

Pastor Wrong

Supercoolie Hat

How They Make Carnation Evaporated Milk

Flag Desecration #9

Zirkle Jerk

World's Worst Yobs #32

David Frum

John McCain Tours Ninth Ward, Offers Words of

Encouragement to Victims of Hurricane Hagee

Bilal Hussein Exonerated; Malkin Not Talkin'

Dick Cheney's 'Undisclosed Location' Finally Revealed

"Ready or not, here I come!"

The Day Newt Left His Teeth at Home

Shroom Salesman Getting Ready for Bonnaroo

Downer Cow Tests Positive for Barbiturates

World's Worst Yoobs #14

Laura Schlessinger

Cindy McCain bristled when she heard someone say, "John

McCain’s safety net is a rich heiress wife worth $100 million."

Chow Chow Chowhound

President Bush Goes Down, Down, Down in History with

the Highest Disapproval Rating in Modern Times

Weekly Standard's Colonel Blimp

Polygamist Family Ties

World's Worst Yoobs #13

Peggy Noonan

Disney Character Blamed for Rise of Plutocracy

Fidel Zombie Accused of Eating Raúl

Republican Bigwig Claims to Own World's Costliest White Elephant

World's Worst Yobs #31

John Derbyshire

In the space of 30 seconds on Sunday, John McCain
 told George Stephanopoulos that while it was a 
mistake to solicit and accept Pastor John Hagee's 
endorsement, he is glad to have it. The Senator is well-
known for his long-term flip-flopping on a number of 
important issues, like the Bush tax cuts. But now,

it seems, he is showing definite signs of short-term 
flip-flopping.

Clinton Touts Toughness Before Pennsylvania Vote,

Claims to Be "Virtually Unchewable"

Four Apples and One Orange

America Facing Rice Shortage;

Costco Limits Customers to One 125-Lb. Bag

Have you seen this guy perform on Spike TV?

He really nails it.

Driftglass has designed the perfect lapel pin. Wear it and

people you meet will kneel while saying the Pledge of Allegiance.

Secretary of State Rice Mocks Muslim Cleric 
Muqtada al-Sadr as a Coward; "Bring'im 
On!" She Says

Dog Sitter Says Barney and Miss Beazley Not on Speaking Terms

Having grown weary of all the candidates, the American

people finally decided to elect Albert the Pig the next

President of the United States.

At 115, Edna Parker is the world's oldest human.

She gives Dick Cheney credit for her longevity.

"I'm doing my damndest to outlive the bastard,"

she says.

Mouseketeer Hugo Enjoys Reminiscing About the

Heyday of Darlene, Cubby, and Annette

"If the Army and the Navy

Ever gaze on Heaven's scenes,
They will find Ben and George are guarded

By United States Marines."

Clinton Leads Among Gun Owners, Bowlers in Pennsylvania

"There’s been great progress economically since George Bush

took office. In fact, I think Americans are not better off

than they were eight years ago. How's that for straight talk!"