Saturday, April 26, 2008

Goes Good with Strawberries and Shortcake
"No, I'm not Froggy the Gremlin and you can't
plunk my Magic Twanger!"
SecDef PO'ed at Pinkos
It took over fifty years, but the duck-and-cover craze
has finally reached China.
"This way to the casketeria, ladies and gentlemen!"
"Remind me again: which one of us is the namesake of
Donald Diamond, Senator McCain's favorite developer?"

Friday, April 25, 2008

"My company lost $704 million in 2007.
Me? I was compensated to the tune of
$121.5 million. Send your condolences

Young Penitent Trying to Imagine Sins Not Yet Committed
Georgetown University Loses Feith; Hope and Love
on the Way Out, Too
Geoff Garin, the Clinton campaign's chief strategist,
writes, "The bottom line is that one campaign really
has engaged in a mean-spirited, unfair character attack
on the other candidate -- but it has been Obama's
campaign, not ours." To accuse an opponent of
negative campaigning is negative campaigning,
is it not?
Richard Gere was skeptical of the reports of penis theft
coming out of Africa, but he was taking no chances.
Pastor Wright

Pastor Wrong
Supercoolie Hat
How They Make Carnation Evaporated Milk

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Flag Desecration #9
Zirkle Jerk
World's Worst Yobs #32
David Frum
John McCain Tours Ninth Ward, Offers Words of
Encouragement to Victims of Hurricane Hagee

Bilal Hussein Exonerated; Malkin Not Talkin'

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Dick Cheney's 'Undisclosed Location' Finally Revealed
"Ready or not, here I come!"
The Day Newt Left His Teeth at Home
Shroom Salesman Getting Ready for Bonnaroo
Downer Cow Tests Positive for Barbiturates
World's Worst Yoobs #14
Laura Schlessinger

Cindy McCain bristled when she heard someone say, "John
McCain’s safety net is a rich heiress wife worth $100 million."

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Chow Chow Chowhound
President Bush Goes Down, Down, Down in History with
the Highest Disapproval Rating in Modern Times
Weekly Standard's Colonel Blimp
Polygamist Family Ties

World's Worst Yoobs #13
Peggy Noonan
Disney Character Blamed for Rise of Plutocracy
Fidel Zombie Accused of Eating Raúl
Republican Bigwig Claims to Own World's Costliest White Elephant

World's Worst Yobs #31
John Derbyshire

Monday, April 21, 2008

In the space of 30 seconds on Sunday, John McCain
 told George Stephanopoulos that while it was a 
mistake to solicit and accept Pastor John Hagee's 
endorsement, he is glad to have it. The Senator is well-
known for his long-term flip-flopping on number of 
important issues, like the Bush tax cuts. But now,
it seems, he is showing definite signs of short-term 
Clinton Touts Toughness Before Pennsylvania Vote,
Claims to Be "Virtually Unchewable"

Four Apples and One Orange

America Facing Rice Shortage;
Costco Limits Customers to One 125-Lb. Bag
Have you seen this guy perform on Spike TV?
He really nails it.

Driftglass has designed the perfect lapel pin. Wear it and
people you meet will kneel while saying the Pledge of Allegiance.
Secretary of State Rice Mocks Muslim Cleric 
Muqtada al-Sadr as a Coward; "Bring'im 
On!" She Says
Dog Sitter Says Barney and Miss Beazley Not on Speaking Terms
Having grown weary of all the candidates, the American
people finally decided to elect Albert the Pig the next
President of the United States.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

At 115, Edna Parker is the world's oldest human.
She gives Dick Cheney credit for her longevity.
"I'm doing my damndest to outlive the bastard,"
she says.
Mouseketeer Hugo Enjoys Reminiscing About the
Heyday of Darlene, Cubby, and Annette
"If the Army and the Navy
Ever gaze on Heaven's scenes,
They will find Ben and George are guarded
By United States Marines."
Clinton Leads Among Gun Owners, Bowlers in Pennsylvania
"There’s been great progress economically since George Bush
took office. In fact, I think Americans are not better off
than they were eight years ago. How's that for straight talk!"