Saturday, February 22, 2014

"Justice Thomas, what's it like to frown nonstop
for eight straight years?"
Chief of Police Art Acevedo Sez:  "Fail to identify and
your ass is grass in Austin!  Just be glad we don't
sexually assault you like cops do in other cities.  
Put on a happy face and have a nice day!"
Billionaire Lip Balm Lord 'El Chapsticko' 
Captured in Mexico
Warm Scuzzies #448
Austin Police Department
Good Dilophosaurus

Bad Dilophosaurus
Lieutenant General William G. 'Jerry' Boykin (Retired) Sez: 
 "I believe that sword Jesus will be carrying when he comes 
back is an AR-15.... The sword today is an AR-15, so if you 
don't have one, go get one. You're supposed to have one. 
It's biblical."
[Onward Christian Soldiers!]
Grandpappy Ned Tugent

Friday, February 21, 2014

States could accommodate the need of bigots to discriminate
 by passing a simple fill-in-the-blanks law, which would say:  
"Citizens of the State of __________ are permitted to 
 discriminate against __________ in the name of 
religious freedom." 
"This is absolutely delicious!  What's it called?"
"Piglet Smoothie."
Jerry Wilson is running for Republican Party chairman
 in Orange County, Texas.  Call him a RINO and he'll
punch your lights out.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #545
Matt Bevin

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Now that clerics have issued a fatwa that forbids Muslims to 
live on the Red Planet, we will no doubt see a big push from 
Islamophobes for the colonization of Mars.
Grandma McConnell Suffers Attack of the Flabbergasts
Caused by Large-Billed Wacko Bird
World's Worst Yobs #297
Daniel Greenfield
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #147

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Would-Be Neophyte Refuses to Join
Any Fraternity That Would Have
Him as a Member
The Nuge and The Spooge
Things to Avoid #28
Every Bite Is an Adventure in
National Guardsmen Star in Comedy
Version of The Oblong Box
If 'cleanliness is next to godliness', then Mark Levin is 
living proof that 'ugliness is next to hatefulness'.
Pretty Scary

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Governor Pat McCrory Sez:  "Get uppity with me and
I'll get your ass fired!"
Flag Desecration #72
With so many Congressmen like Darrell Issa around, how
could there possibly be a clown shortage?

Monday, February 17, 2014

Michael Dunn Receives Full Scholarship
to Study Hip Hop Culture Behind Bars
for the Next 60 Years
Aztec Dog Found Buried Next to Remains of Earliest Known
Aztec Pet Blogger