Saturday, December 19, 2015

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #182
Karl Rove and Mike Finch
Mike Pompeo (R-KS) AKA 'Mr. Gitmo'
Asked why he didn't place his hand over his heart in 
Las Vegas, Trump said he didn't have one. Whether
 he was referring to his hand or his heart was unclear.
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #165
Senator Rubio Tries to Slow Down Passage of the $1.8 
Trillion Spending Bill by Missing the Vote on It
With his brother standing at 3% in the latest Fox News poll, 
Dubya says, "I'm very upbeat about our chances of winning. 
Jeb is peaking at the right time."
Another Sign of the End Times: Neversink, New York 
Serves First Beer Since Prohibition
The Unexpurgated Bible #122
"For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with
 a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the 
Trump of Gotham."

Friday, December 18, 2015

"Hey, numbnuts, it's hair, not snakes!"
Big Walking Carpet Gives Stanley Steemer Five Star Rating
Potty Mouth
Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio Battling to Determine 
Who Is the Bigger HINO (Hispanic in Name Only)
"You don't fuck with Medusa, capiche?"
"OK, I admit it: I have been a little bit divisive."
Being a Leader Is Not Enough
Someone found a picture of Carly Fiorina not lying.
Being a Jew-Hating Schmuck is Old Skool.
Being a Muslim-Hating Schmuck is New Skool.
Darth Vader After He Was Born Again and Accepted
'Hello Kitty' as His Personal Savior
Verona, Virginia Schools Closed Due to Anti-Muslim 
Sentiment; "We're Not Moving Fast Enough Toward 
Idiocracy," Officials Said
The accident rate for driverless cars is double that for 
regular cars.  The reason: driverless cars obey the law 
and cars with drivers don't.
"We're three peas in a pod
Bowing down to the same God."
"Elect Trump!  He's my kinda autocrat!"
Mother Teresa Clears Last Hurdle for Sainthood
Baba Wawa Picks Wawa Baba as Most Fascinating
Person of the Year
Two Mysteries Revealed for the Price of One!

Thursday, December 17, 2015

World's Worst Yobs #345
Stephen Miller
Regularly $29.99, the Presto 'Sid Miller Edition' 
Fry Daddy Electric Deep Fryer is now only 
$19.99 at Walmart!
"Who is that?"
"Oh, it's just Ag Commish Sid 'Fry Daddy' Miller 
riding to the office where he intends to slap
anyone who wishes him 'Happy Holidays'."
Florida Atlantic University Finally Shitcans Professor
James Tracy; "Good Widdance to Bad Wubbish!"
Said Elmer Fudd
Donald Trump Sez:  "I learned everything I know
from this little booklet."
Sid 'Fry Daddy' Miller, Texas Commissioner of Agriculture,
Doles Out $410,000 in Bonuses During His First 9 Months
in Office; Says He's a 'Fiscal Hawk'
Chris Christie Sez: “When I stand across from 
King Hussein of Jordan, I say to him you have a 
friend sir who will stand with you to fight this fight.”
FBI Busts Martin Shkreli, Face of Greed and Big Pharma 
Bad Boy, on Fraud Charges; World Rejoices
Carly Fiorina Sez: "One of the things I would immediately 
do is bring back the warrior class, made from the finest
terracotta, just like the one described in Plato's Republic."

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Ted Cruz Takes the Napoleonic Pledge

Napoleon Takes the Cruzian Pledge
Vast Conspiracy of Young People Scheming 
to Outlive Old People Exposed!
"Governor Kasich, why won't you
tell me what you think about my
Red Flapper Dress?  I wore it
just for you!"
The proposed pact with the Devil stipulated that he 
would become a multi-billionaire in this life but only 
on the condition that in his next life, he would be 
82-year-old casino magnate Sheldon Adelson. "Money
isn't everything!" he was heard to say as he ran away.
Sheldon Adelson, Combover King West, Challenges Donald 
Trump, Combover King East, to a No Holds Barred, 
No Time Limit Steel Cage Comboff in Vegas
Media Stars Matt Drudge and Ann Coulter
Spotted Sitting Together for GOP Debate
in Vegas at the Venetian
One positive outcome of America's mass shootings 
this year is that people are praying more.
"If you don't listen to me on The Howard Stern Showyou 
are really more like a zombie, a rotting corpse monster, 
living half a life, deadened and blackened inside."
"I knew Tooter Turtle. Tooter Turtle was a  friend 
of mine. And Ted, you are no Tooter Turtle."
GOP Crazy Pill Abuse: Who Gets Addicted?
Unfortunately, what happened in Vegas last night didn't 
stay in Vegas.
The Scream (1910)

The Scream (1996)

The Scream (2016)
J. Bruce Harreld Sez:  "Hey, you hire a former senior
IBM vice president to be the president of the University
of Iowa and he'll say stupid things."