Saturday, July 16, 2011

World's Worst Yoobs #99
Barbara Starr
Newt Gingrich's Presidential Campaign in Debt to
Moby Dick Airways for $451,946
"Having met privately with News Corp. executives 26 times
over the past 15 months, would it be fair to say, Prime Minister
Cameron. that you are better acquainted with them than you
are with your own cabinet?"
Representative King Diagnosed with VNSS
(Vehement Nativist Stare Syndrome)
After 35 years in office, Representative Dale Kildee (D-MI)
 has announced that he will not seek another term in 2012
and will retire. He was so invisible in Washington that
 most people thought he had retired 35 years ago.
Before we had time to learn more about Les,
he resigned as CEO of Dow-Jones.  Now
we'll know even less about Les.
Without fail, the Australian Basset Hound
would retrieve his master's morning
Teabagger William Temple Just Moments Before Being
Atomized by Imperial Death Star

Friday, July 15, 2011

Marcus Bachmann Makes Guest Appearance on
British £5 Note
"I was called to the ministry at age 27. Today, the governor's
office is my pulpit, where God has put me at this time to do
his will.  So I think that it's time for us to just hand the
government over to God and say, 'God, you're going to
have to fix this.'"
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #317
Gary Marbut
The Last Smile of the Skull Frogs
Pushmi-Pullyu Spotted on Floor of U. S. Senate
Mr. Generic Republican Widens Lead on Obama in Gallup Poll
Britney Spears' project to become a
tough old broad is on schedule and
under budget.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

The Look on Michele Bachmann's Face
Right Before She Said, "Choot-spa!"
"Hello, Mr. Gladney?  This is Whiplash Willie Gingrich.
We need to talk."
Kenneth Gladney to Play Role of Harry Hinkle in Remake
of The Fortune Cookie
When asked why he wears a strainer on his
head, Niko Alm revealed that he is a
member of an esoteric atheist sect,
the 'Piccolini Pastafarians'.
Snidely Whiplash Rumored to Be Next CEO of News Corp.
Sarah Palin Delays Going Topless Until
Late August-Early September
Minnesota Shutdown Cutting Off Beer, Cigarettes;
Will 'No Suds and No Smokes' = Revolution?
"So what if polls out of Iowa show me at 2%!
Polls are meaningless!
People are meaningless!
I'm all that matters!"
Neonate Weighing 16 Pounds Enters World Crying,
 "Baconator Double, Stat!"

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Gin and Tacos writes:  "If Marcus Bachmann was any more of
a queen, he would be on British money. That guy could not be
any gayer if he shot rainbows out of his open palms like some
kind of Spider Man."

The Bachmanns react.
Planking is out.  Owling is in.
Julia Hurley, Former Hooters Girl and Now Tennessee
Republican State Representative, Puts Down Her Plate
of Hot Wings and Carves Her Initials into Her Desk
Man's Penis Insinkerated
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #316
Mo Brooks
Erick Erickson, a Member of CNN's 'Best Political Team on
Television', Sez:  "It's time to burn Mitch 'Pontius Pilate'
McConnell in effigy!"
Disinterested Philanthropists Donate $86 Million to
Obama's Re-Election Campaign and the DNC in the
Second Quarter of 2011
Governor Rick Perry has declared August 6 as a Day of
Prayer and Fasting.  In order to keep the world in proper
balance, Fearguth hereby declares August 6 to be a Day
of Feasting and Merrymaking. 

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Would you like to see Nikki Haley's
'Governor's Report Card'?  About as
much as you'd like to see the bubble
gum stuck under the seat at your local
cinema multiplex?  Thought so. 
Senator Inhofe Introduces Bill to Limit FAA Regulation
of Okies Wearing Anti-Gravity Belts
Moments Before Jack Nicholson's Mortarboard Made
Its Final Liftoff
The Unexpurgated Bible #57
Then the day came when Jesus turned wine into water. 
And his parched disciples marvelled at a miracle that
was so utilitarian.
"Hit the road, Newt!  Even your fabled Svengali-like powers
can't persuade me that the Supreme Court of the United
States is unconstitutional."
It was a 'deer in the headlights' moment when Senator
McConnell learned that bad gums had been linked to
erectile dysfunction.
Beetnik in Fearguth's Backyard Claims to Have Stung
Lawrence Ferlinghetti's Left Buttock Back in 1956
Why is Tina Brown so fascinated with
Sarah Palin's tits?
Hey, Dick Cheney!  You can hunt this unemployed Utah
man for only $10,000.  He has a thick pelt, a smooth hide,
is faster than a wild turkey and smarter than a wild boar.
And to improve your chances of bagging this wily prey,
why not invite Tony Scalia to join you? 
"I did NOT point my cute Ruger .380 at the reporter!
He recklessly stuck his chest in front of the barrel!" 
Rush Limbaugh Sez: "Obama Wants Budget Deal
in Time for Zappadan"
Thurston Howell III and Orrin Hatch were twins, separated
at birth.  Who knew?
Big Fan of the Military-Industrial Complex Applauds
 the House GOP's Refusal to Cut Defense Spending

Monday, July 11, 2011

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #315
Lori Klein
Of course, if it came down to either Michele Bachmann or
Nancy Grace for President . . . .
Sarah Palin Sez:  "I Can Win the Race for
GrandMILFident of the United States"
Warm Scuzzies #199
Rebekah Brooks
Police Department Apologizes for Revealing Cop's Bra Size