Saturday, August 17, 2013

People who have sex four times weekly earn more so they
can afford to drink four cups of coffee and three extra
sodas a day and die young.
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #145
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #517
David Shormann
New Study Indicates Female Frogs Favor Mates Who Can
Multitask, Such as Sing and Dance at the Same Time

Friday, August 16, 2013

Being barefoot and pregnant is weird enough.  But have
you ever considered how bizarre human feet look out of
Glenn Beck Sez:  "Oprah Winfrey, you're the most famous
and most accomplished black woman in the history of
America, but you disgust me.  Why?  Because (1) you're
much richer than I am, (2) you're a woman, (3) you're
black, and (4) you've never been a rodeo clown."
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #167
Katie Pavlich and John Hawkins
At Last, CIA Admits Area 51 Is Real and the Only Place
in the U.S. Where the Right to Privacy Still Exists
Warm Scuzzies #420
Judge Michael Thornsbury
"For a theoretical physicist, I really do have pretty
nice legs."

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Nobody can tell 'bipartisanship' jokes quite like Henry
Cisneros, Kit Bond, and Mel Martinez.
Chinese Zoo Tries to Pass Off Dog as Lion
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #516
Orson Scott Card
"Hello all you happy Kochsuckers . . . you know what?
I'm the hero."
Step aside, Charles Laughton!  This is a real Modo,
not just a Quasimodo.
Sign of the Times #48
Democracy?  Bah!  Humbug!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

World's Worst Jobs #134
Malian Steel Barrel Vendor
Flag Desecration #69
Oxymorons for Our Time #156
Lee Bright
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #515
Steve Lonegan
With a face like the Dutch prime minister's, one should
not smile.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Pat Caddell may not be the most accurate pollster in the
business, but he is certainly one of the ugliest.
American Schutzstaffel #31
"I wouldn't call it a moustache, per se.  It's more like a
tailless aircraft that landed under my nose one day and
is now costing me $150 a month to maintain."
"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
What?  Has Dubya been diagnosed
with Hells Bells Palsy?
Fearguth's Rules of Order #58
Unless absolutely necessary, never
face swap with a Pisces.
Erin Pizzey is 'a voice for men'.  Uh-huh.
What Native Americans Said to Steve King's European
Ancestors When They Immigrated to North America:
“If you bring people from a violent civilization into a
 less-violent civilization, you’re going to have more
violence, right?  It’s like pouring hot water into cold
water—does it raise the temperature or not?”
The Saddest Little Turtle in the Kentucky Fever Swamp:
A Children's Story
Representative Blake Farenthold (R-The Other White Meat)
 is of the opinion that sitting on President Obama may well
be more effective in neutralizing him than impeachment.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Should white bread be sliced?  Thought to have been
settled in the early 1930s with the advent of Wonder
Bread, this question has re-emerged in 2013 as one of
 the most divisive questions of our time.
Laughing Buddha Charged with Possession of
Ecstasy with Intent to Distribute
Obama-san Doing the Crane Kick
This is why it's easy for Rafael Cruz to
impersonate Robert W. Welch, Jr., founder
of The John Birch Society.  Rafael is on the
right, Robert is on the left.
A Robert Welch impersonator was unmasked at the Family
Leadership Summit in Ames, Iowa on Saturday.  It turns
out he is Rafael Cruz, Senator Ted Cruz's father, who sings
a tune even loonier than his son's.  
Collection Found in Home of Eccentric
Who Keeps and Bears Arms

Sunday, August 11, 2013


Donald Trump shifts his position on Obama's nativity
from Atheist Birther (i. e., 'Obama's birth certificate does
 not exist') to Agnostic Birther (i. e., 'I don't know if
 Obama's birth certificate exists').