Saturday, April 18, 2020

"Oh, god, is that a colorized version of 
Night of the Living Dead?"
"No, it's anti-stay-at-home-order
protesters in Columbus, Ohio."
American Dreamer
Forget Disney World   Florida is now Zombieland.
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #204
Dawn of the Planet of Idiocracy
Alex Jones Leads Coronavirus Liberation Front
Protest in Texas Capital
Flag Desecration #118
There's nothing a real man fears more than
being soft.
A Gadsden Flag for Such a Time
as This
Mitch McConnell Scarecrow Guaranteed to
Keep COVID-19 Out of Your Cornfield
The only difference was Rosa Parks 
packed an AK-47 and didn't wear
a hat.
Trump's Plans to Re-Open Al Capone's Vaults Face 
Major Obstacles
Microsoft Founder Believed by Some to Be
Illegal Exobiological Alien
"Let My People Go!" Trump Says

Friday, April 17, 2020

He had always had Opposable Thumbs.  But when they 
started disagreeing over the need for frequent hand washing,
he now had Opposing Thumbs as well.
"Do I really exist or am I just a mythological 
beast cold-cocked by an existential crisis?"
Official Banner of the Coronavirus Liberation Front
Critics Decry Colorized Alex Jones as
'Hollywood Vandalism'
And you thought Zombies were just a fad!
Don't laugh.  Wear this and the coronavirus runs away.
What eschatologists are now saying is the end of the 
world will turn out to be the Coronavirus browbeating 
Pepe the Frog, which is pretty disappointing.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #805
Michelle Caruso-Cabrera
Drink enough of Trump's Crazy Tonic and you'll begin to
hear Devin Nunes saying, “Now it’s pretty clear that it wasn’t 
the Trump administration that was attempting to collude with 
Russians, it, in fact, was the Democratic Party colluding 
with Russians.”
Trump's Daily Briefings have morphed into
televised Auto-Anesthesia sessions.
Annoying Apple Tries to Make Comeback
by Claiming COVID-19 Virus Originated
in Dr. Zoidberg's Lab

Thursday, April 16, 2020

What a Difference a Duodecennial Makes

Under the new social distancing rules, the Jones-Gorka 
bout will be the world's first Bare-Knuckle Hot-Air 
Boxing Match.
If General Buck Turgidson Were Advising Trump 
on the Plan to Quickly Reopen America
Warm Scuzzies #918
Derek Lewis
The lead time between dumbfuckery and
 karma is getting shorter and shorter.
Zombies don't give a good goddam about Social Distancing.
Glitches Prevent $1,200 Stimulus Checks
 From Reaching Millions
Which pancake makeup is best?
It all depends on how you define 'pants'.   
Do you have to wear pants when you 
check email?
Like Trump, this young Austrian believes a bat
infected with COVID-19 bit Patient Zero who then
 escaped from a lab in Wuhan.  Or something to
that effect.
Remember Pajama Boy?  Thanks to Obamacare,
he's taking it easy today and feeling right at home.
Remember Pac-Man?
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #804
Alex Beranson
Remember Mad Cow Disease?  This is 
Mad Cowherd Disease.

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

The Real Donald Trump
Kellyanne Conway Mistakes ‘19’ in COVID-19 for 
Strain of Virus While Accusing WHO of Not Knowing
"If there's something strange in you neighborhood,
Who you gonna call?"
Quasimodo's Despair
Adventures in Aestheticism #244
Trump Being Urged to Deploy Kamikaze Oldtimers
 Regiment Against COVID-19
And you thought human sacrifice went out with
the Aztecs!
In addition to stimulus checks, Trump's name will
also appear on every coffin used to inter victims
of the COVID-19 epidemic.
Fox Scores Hole in One at Trump National Golf Club
 in Bedminster, New Jersey
Trump Giving Vince McMahon a Trim to Prepare 
Him for His New Advisory Role
Try to imagine Ron DeSantis reading a book.
See, it can't be done.
Tsk! Tsk! What are a few fatal heart complications 
when you are taking decisive action.