Saturday, August 22, 2015

"Hey now baby, get into my big black car.
Hey now baby, get into my big black car.
I just want to show you what my politics are."
Eat More Conch!

Excrete More Concha!
Donald Trump, Job Creator
Immigration Reform Plans #3
The GOP Anchor Baby Catapult
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #118
Never Give a Sucker an Even Break 2:
Here We Go Again!
Donald Trump Delivering the George Wallace Memorial
Lecture in Mobile, Alabama
"Buy a can of my Fish Assholes and we'll make America 
better than it's ever been!"

Friday, August 21, 2015

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #117
Spaceballs 2:  the Passion of the Goggle-Eyed Homunculus 
"Now that you mention it, Bibi, our ears are analogous."
When he claims to be the 'biggest hypocrite', Josh Duggar 
proves that he's not only a pedophile/porn addict/adulterer; 
he's also a braggart.
Translated from body language, Jeb Bush's facial
expression says, "Little people, stay off my lawn!"
"In other news, a feistier, more combative Jeb Bush said 
Thursday that he doesn't believe the term 'anchor boobies'
 is offensive."
Kim Trump-un
Warm Scuzzies #580
Jason Doré

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Donald Trump, Vulture Capitalist
Live Better Amphibiously
"I always like to watch a Demolition Derby."
"That's not a Demolition Derby; that's the
GOP presidential race!"
Presidential hopeful Deez Nuts attributes his success to 
his brother, Truck, who is also his campaign manager.
Residents of Clint, Texas Forced by Jade Helm Operatives
 to Have Either a Microchip or a Grain of Rice Implanted in 
Their Right Hands
At first, Ben Carson was only open to drone strikes to
secure the border.  He is now considering drone strikes
against his rivals in the GOP presidential race.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #637
Jan Mickelson
Trying to out-Trump Trump, Scott Walker is now calling
for the deportation of all Obamacare beneficiaries.
Data Dump Reveals Josh Duggar's Two Ashley Madison
Accounts Were Cheating on Each Other

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

"Don't give me that 'the last shall be first and the first 
shall be last' shit!"
"If this were a Shaw Brothers movie, Jeb, the way you're
deep throating that deep-fried Snickers would be called
'good kung fu'."
Internecine warfare is the force that gives the 
right-wing meaning.
Even Less Filling than Whitewater
Trump Garners Endorsement from
Leader of Albino Lobster Caucus
"Hey, Albert, how is Jade Helm 15 coming along?  Is the
Gestapo in Bastropo yet?"
It was the last time he would ask Marco Rubio to throw 
him the ball.
Bone of Contention
Notice to All Oklahoma Travelers
The Save Yourself Survival and Tactical Gear store in
Oktaha is a Muslim-Free Zone.
Feeling the urge to purge? Heidi Klum 
demonstrates the Trumplich Maneuver.
All That Remained of Carly Fiorina After Ann Coulter 
Despised Her with the ‘Hot, Hot Hate of 1,000 Suns’

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

He had been a regular user of Dr. Bronner's
 for years, but he went blind trying to read the
 label, so now he has to buy the Braille version.
1992: 'Populist Billionaire Makes America

2015: 'Populist Billionaires Makes America
Oxymoronic Again'
"What's that?"
"The Constitution after Donald Trump got through
shredding it."
More Uplifting than a Helicopter Ride,
More Satisfying than a Porkchop-on-a-Stick
"Mr. Trump, are you the father of Bristol Palin's baby?"
 the 9-year-old boy asked at the Iowa State Fair.
"I am Donald Trump!"
As you can tell from the expression on their faces, Mike
and Janet Huckabee are among the 67% of Republicans
who are very happy in matrimony.

Monday, August 17, 2015

Donald Trump Sez: "We're going to keep the families 
together, but they have to go.  All aboard!"
Big Bigots, Little Bigots #70
Sid Miller
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #71
Donald Trump
Fourteen San Francisco Cops Required to Finally Subdue
Homeless One-Legged Kickboxer
Todd Courser's Son Takes Up Arms Against His Dad's
Sea of Troubles
Todd Courser Praying Away the Faux Gay
Mexico Forced to Sell Entire Population into Slavery to China 
in Order to Pay for 1,900-Mile-Long Great Wall of Trump