Tuesday, December 31, 2013

AKA 'The F Word'
 Home Depot Billionaire Blames Pope Francis for 
Making Fat Cats "Incapable of Feeling Compassion 
for the Poor"
RNC Shells Out $150,000 for Midterm Election Essential
Doomsday Preppers to Feature Katie Smith, Washington
 State's Premier Jack-o'-Lantern Hunter
"Is that Ben Gozzi?"
"No, it's Chali Cabbagemallet."
When not nesting, the Falcon is one of the fastest
creatures on Earth.
Major Gen. Paul E. Vallely (Ret.) attributes his incipient
insanity to a lack of sleep caused by the fact Valerie
 Jarrett 'wields all the power' in Washington, D.C.

Monday, December 30, 2013

"If my gun and bow don't getcha, my third leg will!"
Although Fearguth was a college librarian
who quested for almost 25 years, he never 
found the spear.  He did, however, discover
a pinwheel in the stacks one day.
When was the last time you wondered
what Todd Palin is doing these days?
[It must be tough being an ex-$ellebrity.]
"The tie?  Oh, Ben Franklin obviously 
wouldn't approve, but it's a loaner from 
Fearguth's Ludicrous Librarian Legacy 
"Drone pilot, drone pilot
How high can you fly
You'll never, never, never reach the sky."
Things to Avoid #26
Crabs Big Enough to Crack Coconuts
Old Men with Guns #13
Harry Carl Mapps
Renouncing citizenship in his motherland has made
the hoser side of Ted Cruz sad.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

"No, no, no, you got the pronunciation all wrong!  It's
Ben-ˈgä-zē, not Beng-ˈhä-zē."
Adam Schiff Sez:  "Quite frankly, Al-Qaida scares me
Doge Leonardo Loredan

His Doge Shibe
Carolina Grim Reapers, the Earth's Hottest Peppers

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Mr. Bluster Urges Atheists to Exercise Their 'Right
to Leave the Country'
Some said he was stupidly obstinate; others said he was

Friday, December 27, 2013

"How do you like the Beretta PX4 Storm 
Santa brought me?"
Warm Scuzzies #438
Cactus Canyon
"Do you think I look better with the beard or without it?"
New Year go away!  We're not quite 
through with the old one yet.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

In the 19th century, Russia gave the world Pushkin, 
Tolstoy, and Dostoevsky.  In the 20th century, Russia 
gave the world Lenin, Stalin, and the AK-47.
Do Not Use as a Flotation Device!
Tenth Circuit Court Allows Utah Men to Kiss, But with No 
Tongue and Not Longer Than Three Minutes and Six Seconds
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #534
Alan Dershowitz
Osama Bin Daffy and Premier Christian Cruises, Inc. 
Charter the Carnival Victory for the 'Duck Commander 
Cruise', July 17-21, 2014
2014 Republican Party Ballot After the 
Chamber of Commerce Declared,
"No Fools on Our Ticket!"
If we lie to Congress, it's a crime.  
But if Congress lies to us, it isn't.  
Why is that?
Chewbacca Sez:  "No More Joint Pain!"
Once again you did not make Gawker's annual list of
 'The Least Important Writers'.  Congratulations!
"When I'm gone, my son, Kim Jong-un, is liable to get drunk
and start executing his kinfolks and all their friends.  He 
believes he's Stalin redivīvus, you know."
"No doubt about it, Suzy:  someone has jammed Obamacare
down your throat."
Have you read Jonah Goldberg's new book?
How Ted Cruz Reacted When He Learned He Was One of
the 'Top 10 Villains of 2013'
"Oh fudge!  It's Boxing Day!"
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #91
His teacher seemed to have eyes in the back
of his head.
Tareq Salahi's Run for House of 
Representatives in Virginia: See It
on Pay-Per-View for Only $14.95!

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Little Known Fact #47
H.R. 448 is a bipartisan resolution to protect Christmas 
from Doug Lamborn.
Pope Francis Wishes Rush Limbaugh a
Merry 'Trickle-Down' Christmas
You had to be a very bad little boy
to earn a visit from Miley Krampus.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Before Christians Lost Their Religious Liberty to
Burn People at the Stake
Andrew Sullivan Sez:  "I have to say I’m befuddled by the 
firing of Phil Robertson, he of the amazing pater-
familias beard on Duck Dynasty."
"Pardon me, sir, but would you say you're a
Low-Information Voter, a Misinformation
Voter, or a Disinformation Voter?"