Saturday, September 14, 2013

Senator McCain to Publish Article Contra Putin in Russian
Tabloid on Same Page as "SOS Signal from UFO Sows Panic 
in Siberia"

Friday, September 13, 2013

"No, I've never met Larry Summers and, hopefully, 
I never will."
When she was younger, Wonder Woman 
could run so fast she could dodge all 
the raindrops in a thunderstorm and 
never get wet.
At age 92, S. Truett Cathy looked back
over his long life and was pleased to realize
what an important role he had played in
 the history of chicken sandwiches.
"I see that Sol Invictus is angry again."
"Oh, yeah, he's been hot ever since Emperor Constantine 
decreed that Sunday was a Day of Rest."
Have you noticed how your security has been threatened by 
Syria's civil war? It's just like the way the security of Eng-
land was threatened during America's Civil War between
1861 and 1865.  It's downright scary, isn't it?
"3D?  What an antiquated concept!"
"King Kong?  Are you kidding?  It's my
Uncle Sam!"

"Dayum!  It must be Friday the 13th again!"
The Blobfish had a self-esteem problem as it was, but 
then it was named the Ugliest Animal in the World 
by the British Ugly Animal Preservation Society.
'I Want to Be a Twerker for the Lord'
"I like John Boehner. I do feel sorry for him, 
but, to be honest,  feeling sorry gives me 
great pleasure."
Family Research Council Calls for Boycott of
 Suzy Homemaker for Baking Wedding Cakes 
for Gay Couples
"I'm coming back, Senator Cruz, I'm coming back!"
"Oh, yeah?  Well, my Smartphone has a PhD!"

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Kochsuckers United, the GOP's Biggest Money Machine 
You've Never Heard Of
Trying to Boldly Go Where No Amphibian Has Gone Before!
Florida Governor Cancels Giant Rubber Duck Hunt Fundraiser
Warm Scuzzies #428
Elizabeth O'Bagy

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

"So, who does Captain Picard think he is today?"
"He thinks he's Keith Alexander, director of the 
National Security Agency."
These Mossad agents want you to know how much they
enjoy American phone calls and emails supplied to them
by the NSA.
Howley Monkey
Warm Scuzzies #427
Tallahassee Police Department
Pink Slime Makes Comeback in 
Public School Lunch Programs

White Slime Makes Comeback on CNN
Imperfect Messenger

Imperfect Message

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #31
Patrick Howley

Monday, September 09, 2013

Shellie Zimmerman Relieved to Learn Her Husband Was 
Only Armed with a Gun, Not a Knife
Q:  Where do hypocrites go when they die?
A:  They are buried in whited sepulchres, like this one, 
where President Obama will go someday.
President Obama Persuades Six More Vigilantes
to Join Him in Punishing Syria
Uncle Sam died believing guns made him safer.
One might have thought he was old enough to
know better.
Steve King, Michele Bachmann, and Louie Gohmert held
a press conference in Egypt to thank the military for its 
opposition to the Muslim Brotherhood and for its support
of 'Post-Natal Vaginal Tightening'.
Man Lost in Andes Since May Lived on Rats and 
What He Thought Were Raisins
"General el-Sisi, Louie Gohmert says you're the George
Washington of Egypt.  Do you think he means you have
wooden dentures?"
"Krusty, do you believe in God?"
"Well, maybe and maybe not.  Only God knows."
World's Worst Yoobs #139
Nicole Gelinas
Teen Shot Dead by Good Guy with Gun in 
Prank Gone Wrong
Dallas Cowboys Churrleader

Sunday, September 08, 2013

Warm Scuzzies #426
Pine Bluff, Arkansas Police Department
"Sure, I brazenly lie, but it's all for a good cause, namely,
creepy ol' unctuous me."
Little Brother is watching you, too.
World's Worst Yoobs #138
Kemberlee Kaye