Saturday, October 18, 2014

Sarah Palin to Star as Griftalong Cassidy in
There's Gold in That Thar PAC
Is it just a coincidence that the Ebola virus first struck 
the United States inside a private hospital located in 
a red state?  Or is it just ironic?

Friday, October 17, 2014

Anyone who uses this gesture is obviously exhibiting 
Messianic Complex and should be avoided at all costs,
unless, of course, you wish to spend eternity with Greg
Abbott in Texas.
"Snoopy, he just soft toy.  Charles Schulz, he dead now.  My 
granddaughter, she not fooled by American propaganda."
Drone Hunter Said to Be 'Funny Strange', Not
'Funny Ha-Ha'
It had been decades since he had had a close encounter
with a Saf-T-Pop.  But he hadn't forgotten them.  God,
how he enjoyed being a Pinhead!
Functionality of Robotic Hand Questioned,
Said to Be Impractical When Stepping Over 
Dollar to Pick Up a Dime
Contrary to popular belief, Archimedes
did not invent the Eureka Vacuum Cleaner.
He did, however, run unclothed through
the streets of Syracuse, Sicily, on one
Utah National Guard Under Fire for Failing to Certify
Swimsuit Models Used in Photo Shoot Were Mormons
 in Good Standing
With a "reputation for being ornery, aggressive -- and 
maybe even a little unstable,"-- Don Young strode 
fearlessly forward, daring anyone to diss his necktie.
Relax!  President Obama has named a 
 new Czar of All the Ebolas.
Appropriate responses to the most
recent appearance of the Junior
Senator from Kentucky on the
cover of Time might be:  (1) most
interesting to whom? (2) does this 
make three or four times Rand Paul 
has been featured on the cover of
Time since 2010? (3) if Senator
Paul is the 'most interesting man
in politics', what does this say
about politics today? and 
(4) shouldn't Obama be blamed?
The Gnarled Fist, First Symptom of the E. Coulter Virus
The History of Thumbsuckers,
Bedwetters, and Whiny-Ass
Titty Babies During the Great 
American Ebola Scare of 2014

Thursday, October 16, 2014

"Sorry for the delay in starting the debate, folks, but
my opponent, Governor Rick Scott, is apparently
afraid that the shit is about to hit the fan."
Viewed from any angle, Rick Perry is one of the most
corrupt politicians Texans have ever elected to high
 office.  And also one of the dumbest (including Dubya).
"Round and round and round we go until forever more 
Once we were behind but now we find we are before
Forward backward inwards outwards come and join the chase 
Nothing could be wryer than a jolly carcass race!"
Doctors say the Miley Cyrus Stage of Ebola Virus 
Disease is too dangerous to watch without Hazmat Glasses.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #11
A Rolling Shutter Effect
If Thom Tillis hears one more North Carolina voter 
ask if he once worked as a Good Humor ice cream 
salesman, he will rip his throat out.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #596
Debbie Dunnegan
"Crystal meth?  Do I look like
someone who uses crystal meth?"

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Court Rules Hermaphrodite Snail (Aegista diversifamilia)
 Can Marry Itself
Little Known Fact #57
Before he did 'The Last Supper', Leonardo da Vinci
did 'The Last Happy Meal'.
"Haven't you seen a spit curl before?"
Here's an idea:  the CIA could recruit patriotic 
Suicide Ebola Vectors to become ISIS volunteers.

Monday, October 13, 2014

World's Worst Yoobs #150
Rebecca Hagelin
"Christopher who?"

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Rude Rhymes #82

Booby Hatch

Kris Kobach
Nostalgie de la Boue
In memory of his 2009 Nobel Peace Prize, Barack Obama
has been awarded the Nobel War Prize for 2014.
Right Wing Watch
His eye was on the sparrow.