Saturday, July 19, 2014

Little Known Fact #53
Rats, next in line to become the species which rules
the Earth, are now setting mantraps.
A new study reveals that the average shoe in America has
 gone up two whole sizes since the 1970s.  There's a reason
for that.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Bad Deal

Raw Deal

Real Deal
Vladimir Putin is such an ardent believer
in the Second Amendment that he helps
Russian separatists in the Ukraine to get 
their hands on surface-to-air missiles.
Has Darrell Issa gone rouge?
If Todd Akin didn't exist, the Democratic Party would 
have to invent him.
Renee Ellmers Sez:   "Men do tend to talk about things on a 
much higher level."
[Q: What does Renee Ellmers and a beer bottle have in common? 
A: They're both empty from the neck up.]

Thursday, July 17, 2014

"Next time, I'm wearing shoes!"
Psychiatrist Andrew Hodges Performing
 'Good Golly, Svengali!'
To tightly seal the Texas border with Mexico would require
a National Guardsman posted every three feet.  Since the
border is 1,255 miles long, 2,208,800 Guardsmen would be
required.  To loosely seal the border (i. e., a National
Guardsman posted every 300 feet), 22,088 Guardsmen
would be required.  There are currently 23,580 National
Guardsmen in Texas.  Go figure.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Ed Wood Sez:  "My son wears dresses, 
and that's OK with me."
Sheriff Paul Babeu is a rotten egghead.
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #52
Adam Kwasman
Entire Population of Oracle, Arizona to Be Traded
for Busload of Honduran Asylum-Seekers
Dick Cheney International Monument Opens in Siberia
World's Worst Yobs #308
Sheldon Richman
A new poll shows that 37% of Mississippi Republicans
would back the Confederacy if there were another Civil
War.  While that may be surprising, it's even more sur-
prising that 63% either wouldn't or aren't sure.
Nautilus Exploration Vessel Studying Goldman Sachs
Vampire Squid in the Gulf of Mexico
New Texas License Plate to Make It Easier to Round Up 
Perry-Style Secessionists When President Obama 
Declares Martial Law

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The Kardashians:  Famous for Being Famous

The Cheneys:  Famous for Being Infamous
Utah Sets New Record for Number of Republican Attorneys-
General Arrested on the Same Day and Charged with a
 Total of Twenty-One Felonies and Two Misdemeanors
Archaeologists Say Ancestor of GOP Mascot Roamed
 North America 13,390 Years Ago
Warm Scuzzies #485
Heritage Academy (Mesa, AZ)
Was it Zell Miller doing his Rick Perry impression

or Rick Perry doing his Zell Miller impression?

Monday, July 14, 2014

Warm Scuzzies #484
Jeremy Yachik
"Sorry, Mr. Santelli, but from the time you call 'the best five
minutes of my life' until now, it would be impossible for you
to have been more wrong."
Non-Blonde Howard Kurtz Says "We Have 12 Non-Blondes
on Fox News"
Sir Galtalot Going Medieval on Somebody's Ass

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Representative Mike McCaul (R-TX), the richest member
 of Congress, still hasn't fully recovered after seeing the 
'threat' posed by 17-year-old immigrants on the Texas-
Mexico border.
First Gorgeous Supermoon of the Summer
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #152
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #582
Kathy Perkins