Saturday, May 09, 2009

Senator James Inhofe (R-OK) Opposes
Cap-and-Trade, Favors Cap-and-Bells

Ducks Unlimited 'Gold Sponsor' Has Vision of Skies Filled
with Waterfowl Today, Tomorrow, and Forever
Rude Rhymes #7

Chronic Pain

John Thain
"Oh, don't mind me. I'm just waiting for the
next 747 to land on my broad shoulders."
Huckabee Warns GOP Could Become "Irrelevant as the Whigs"

The Whigs Warn Huckabee Could Become
"Irrelevant as the GOP"
Young Gun

Old Gun
It is said that the Republican Party is 'floundering' right now.
Question: if a party can 'flounder', can a flounder 'party'?
If you play golf and happen to run into David,
be sure to ask him to tell a few of his Nancy
Pelosi jokes. They're rumored to be killer.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III
(R-AL) Promoted to Ranking Republican
Clown on Senate Judiciary Committee
Stephen Friedman, Chairman of the Federal Reserve
Bank of New York, Resigns Abruptly, Becomes the
Latest Wall Street Walker
In addition to various 'Litmus Tests', the Senate Judiciary
Committee will use an 'Empathic Flow Meter' to help decide
who should replace Justice Souter on the Supreme Court.
Taproot of Swine Flu Epidemic Unearthed

The Ugly Truth About
Prostate Massage

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #40
William A. Jacobson
World's Worst Yobs #94
Marc Ambinder

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Some over-the-hill movie stars sell yogurt for a living.

Others yell at NBA referees.
Man Pays to Nail Woman Metaphorically,
She Nails Him Literally Instead
Even after it stepped into the light, Yemen's 'Shadow
Parliament' was still hard to see.
Well, fellow procrastinators, we waited until
the last minute to order and, sure enough,
the official National Day of Prayer Bookmark
is out of stock. Sorry! It's still not too late,
however, to put off ordering your copy of
Getting Things Done in time for National
Procrastination Day, which, for some reason,
always gets postponed until next week or
the week after that.
"Dialectical materialism forever, mofos!"
Representative Eric Cantor (R-VA) says, "If you
listen to Rush Limbaugh, you really don't need
to listen to anybody else."
Factoid of the Hour #5
Cuban Rolls 148-Foot-Long Cigar,
Sets New Guinness World Record
Geese Demonstrating Proper Technique for
'Flying Under the Radar'
Red People Declare Sovereignty, Tighten Bible Belt

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Were you aware that your head is constantly being
bombarded by 'Nonsense Particles'? It's true. You
just can't see them, except in Kirlian photographs.
First Lady Appears in the Same Flowered Frock Twice;
Is Praised by Some for Showing America How to Dress
During a Recession, Is Blamed by Others for Wearing
'Old Duds'
Michael Steele Re-Brands Himself
"You know what I like about you, George? Like me,
you lack seriousness and sobriety."
If your idea of domination involves someone kissing
your foot, you might consider ordering a few hundred
Doctor Fish.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

“This whole notion of listening, it’s just — it’s a scam.
Never forget: I've made my fortune in Talk Radio, not
Listening Radio!”
"When I posed topless," says Carrie Prejean,
"God was testing my character and faith."
"What the Republicans need right now is a better sort of
centrist, someone who can’t sound like Rush Limbaugh but
who can’t sound like Arlen Specter, either. Someone, if I
may be so bold, who sounds like me."
Bank of America Still in the Red, Stress Test Shows
Pope Benedict's rhetoric is so soporific it can render
new priests comatose at a range of up to fifty yards.
World's Worst Yobs #93
Jeffrey Rosen
Wildlife Tip #7
Pretending you're Chuck Jones or speaking with a faux
French accent probably won't improve your chances
of befriending a skunk.
Republican Fat Cat Now Required to Buy
Two Tickets When It Flies Coach

Monday, May 04, 2009

Clarabell Ready to Repulse Rightwing Apologists
for Individual and Corporate Tax Cheats
Who ya gonna call when your 'hood needs some liberatin'?
The Sudanese Liberation Army.
World's Worst Yobs #92
Major Garrett
Align Center
Think outside the bun --- Try a Lizard on a Stick.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

The Agony of Da Feet
If the present trend continues into the not-too-distant
future, there will be more Americans who claim to have
seen a UFO than claim to have seen a Republican.
According to the story, she evidently stole them.