Saturday, December 16, 2017

"Who is that?"
"Some guy at the CDC who said 'science-based'."
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #713
Joseph diGenova
Warm Scuzzies #758
W. Mitchell Nance
Q: How do you approach Las Vegas City Councilwoman
Michele Fiore when she's sitting in the Red Chair?
A: Very, very cautiously.
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #105
Daniel Lipinski

Friday, December 15, 2017

"I have spiritual awareness. I can feel God’s presence."
Ajit Pai, the Grinch Who Stole the Internet
"We singles live empty lives of quiet desperation and will
stay undead alone."
It's Disney's World
Q: "Have you ever heard the expression, 'Deer in the 
Headlights', Mr. Petersen?
A:  "No."
Wacko Wuco on DHS Team to Enforce Trump's 
Executive Orders
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #712
Frank Wuco
“Donald Trump is racial, 
but he is not a racist."
"It's apparent, Mr. Petersen, that you have shown up 
for the wrong hearing.  This one is for nominees
who are qualified to be a US District Judge."
Not The Onion
What was left of Mark Steyn after he was
Don't expect cats to take the romantic view of Christmas.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

"An eye for an eye is never enough.
Never, never, never!"
                       --- Adrian Phoenix

A Dung Beetle can bury dung 250 times its own weight in one
 night, but it still can't keep up with Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
"Sarah walks into that lion's den of a press room every day,
 and, I believe, represents women and represents the
 President and represents strength in an incredible way."
All that was missing was the Ivory Snow Girl.
Where Pundits Predigest the News for
Americans with ADHD
Omarosa Manigault-Newman on Leaving the White House: 
"I Saw Things That Made Me Uncomfortable"
Putin Praises Trump's 'Significant Achievements'
"Is that bobblehead Donald Trump?"
"No, it's Denny Dimwit."
"Coulda fooled me."
Dennis Rodman Sez: “It’s funny though that I don’t see
 how people can sit there and say that Kim Jong-un is a 
‘madman.’ He probably is, but I didn’t see that. But he 
probably is.”
Republican Party Barge Puts In to Dry Dock, Says He
Won't Run for Re-Election
Secret Service Denies Omarosa Manigault-Newman
Dragged from White House by Troglodyte
The Battle Rages On
Warm Scuzzies #757
Alex Kozinski

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Have you seen Scott Pruitt's SCIF (Sensitive Compartmented 
Information Facility)? At a cost to taxpayers of only $24,570, 
it's a bargain.
"He says he's from Roto-Rooter, Mr. Obama, and
has come to unclog your toilet."
Big Bigots, Little Bigots #124
Kirk Humphreys
Time to Re-Inter Uncle Breitbart
On a Street Somewhere in Montgomery, Alabama
Ronna Romney McDaniel Sez: "If I had stopped using 
my middle name sooner, Roy Moore might have won."
"Have you stopped thinking inside the box yet?"
In his hour of trial, Trump turned to Ivanka for support. 
Monty Python Gets the Last Laugh
Why did Roy Moore lose? Let us count the reasons: 
1) Steve Bannon, 2) Roy Moore, 3) Donald Trump, 
4) Roy Moore, 5) GOP Agenda, 6) Roy Moore, 
7) Mitch McConnell, 8) Roy Moore, 9) Ronna 
Romney McDaniel's Middle Name, 10) Roy Moore,
11) Quantum Machines of the Antichrist, and 
12) Roy Moore.

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Not since the Hindenburg disaster had a gasbag like The 
Trump Effect collapsed so categorically.
In retirement, Roy Moore promises to never walk alone.
Bitecoin 'Sect' Stuns Online Broker with 50-Fold Jump
When Sarah Huckabee Sanders Was Asked What Her 
Understanding Was of Trump's Tweet That Kirsten 
Gillibrand Would Do Anything for Money
Roy Moore Rustles Tonto's Horse, 'Scout', Rides Him
to Join Cavendish Gang
счастливого Рождества
Dennis the Menace Sez: "If I want to wear a dress, 
I'll wear a dress."
A primary aesthetic trait of physical attractiveness and 
beauty is facial symmetry.  In Kellyanne Conway's
defense, it can be said that the right side of her face
lies 100% of the time, the left side only 95%.
Flag Desecration #105
Don't let your Alabama cook too long or it
will turn into a scorched image of Roy Moore 
that's virtually impossible to remove.