Saturday, September 15, 2012

Was Paul Ryan palling around with a fake former 
terrorist, or a former fake terrorist?
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #421
Kamal Saleem (aka Khodor Shami)
"Your name is your destiny," some experts in
 onomastics say.  Like, for example, Romney, 
which means 'winding river'.

Friday, September 14, 2012

"How long have you been a birther?"
"Birther?  I'm not a birther, I'm a birder!"
"Well, maybe you'll have better luck than the rest of 
us.  We still haven't spotted Obama's birth certificate."
There are the 'Values Voters', and then
there are the rest of us, the voters 
without values.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #420
Joe Montgomery
Anti-American protests in North Africa
and the Middle East are believed to 
have been sparked by inflammatory
rhetoric used by Rushawi al-Limbaughiri,
who is heard daily by Jihadiheads on over
600 radio stations in the region.
Although Kansas is 99% certain to cast its electoral
votes for Mitt Romney, Kris Kobach, the Sunflower
State's Secretary of State, wants to be 100%
certain by kicking Barack Obama off the ballot.
The median household income in the U. S. in
 2011 was $49,445.  This is only true, how-
ever, in the real world.  In Mitt Romney's 
world, "Middle income is $200,000 to 
"Obama's so dank, man, Romney's so schwag."
Poor Gitmo!  It will soon be as vacant as Alcatraz, because
 the US doesn't detain alleged terrorists anymore; it just 
assassinates them.
First there was the 'Wimp Factor'.

Then came the 'Tiny Face Factor'.
USA Today Yesterday

USA Today Today

USA Today Tomorrow

Why have neither of the presidential candidates addressed 
the growing problem of feline dipsomania?
Mitt Romney wears Magic Underwear.
Aaron Schock wears a Magic Belt.
Big Bigots, Little Bigots #13
Steve Klein
Al Qaeda Gave Up Osama Bin Laden To Make 
Barack Obama Look Good and to Keep Rush 
Limbaugh on the Radio
Richard Williamson Sez:  "If Mitt Romney had been 
President, Pearl Harbor would never have happened."

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #419
Tom Rooney
Should Governor Christie be blamed for New Jersey's
high gasoline prices?
Big Apple Persecuting Double Gulper Sect
Beneath the Neoconservative Mask
Great Misadventures in Science #7
Computational and Systems Biologists at MIT Develop 
Fifth-Grade-Level Reading Simulator
"Do I shoot first and aim later?
You're durn tootin'!"
What if the owners of a retail chain were to say, "It's 
against our religion to hire anyone who is gay, swarthy,
or Muslim?"  Would that be OK?
Warm Scuzzies #324
Hobby Lobby

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

"Hey, Sarah!  If Obama can't grow one big enough for you,
 I can!"
"Well, I may have jumped the gun, but at least
Pamela Geller and Jennifer Rubin still love me."
Vitalizes the Bodies and Minds of
Christian Crusaders
And four years later, it's still a stinking mess.
Beaky Buzzard Strikes Back!
Team Priebus Kicks Egypt's Ass;
Next Stop:  Libya
Mitt Romney as Seen Just Moments Before
He Took Out Osama Bin Laden

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

It was heartwarming to learn that Amelia
Hamilton writes children's books for
a living.
The race for the Republican presidential nomination began 
in May, 2011, and lasted until the Republican National 
Convention in August, 2012, when Mitt Romney was 
officially nominated. That's 16 long months. And yet, 
in light of Mitt Romney's recent slide in the polls, 
Joe Scarborough is now saying, "A real conservative 
would be winning now." So, tell us Joe, where are these 
'real conservatives' and where have they been keeping 
themselves for the past year and a half? 
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #418
Joe Kernen
OctoMitt, the world famous juggler, has eight
separate heads, one for each day of the week,
plus a spare.
When Paul Ryan drinks enough of the 
Kool-Aid, he doesn't see double:  you do.
Rush Limbaugh says, “If Obama wins, it’s the end of the 
Republican Party.”  Do you think a twofer is too much to
hope for?
Warm Scuzzies #322
Gonzalo Sánchez de Lozada
Mitt Romney's BFF Pat Robertson Sez:  "If your wife has
no respect for you as head of the house, you could become 
a Muslim, move to Saudi Arabia,  and beat her."
"Ana Sol Alliegro and Justin Lamar Sternad?  Do I, David
Rivera, look like I would associate with those rapscallions?
I only associate with upstanding citizens, like Marco Rubio."

Monday, September 10, 2012

Flippo the Clown Sez:  "If I become president of the United 
States, I will not take God out of my heart, I will not take 
God out of the public square, and I will not take it out of 
the platform of my party or my Bamboozle Box."
Michelangelo's David Latest Victim of
'American Exceptionalism'
Saeed al-Shihri Sez:  "If you are looking for a job, I don't
recommend that you apply for the 'No. 2' position in 
Al-Qaida.  Its shelf life is very short."
When he first heard himself referred to as 'Money Boo Boo',
Laughing Boy's reaction was swift and sure.
Why does Papa John's CEO John Schnatter give away 
2,000,000 free pizzas, then bitch about providing 
decent healthcare for his employees?