Saturday, November 03, 2012

Flag Desecration #60
World's Worst Yoobs #128
Margaret Sullivan
Remember those leftovers you stuck in the fridge two 
months ago---the mystery meat that's now covered with 
three different colors of mold and the reddish veggie matter
that's now liquified?  Well, Rudy Giuliani is a lot like that.
“Brian, come on. What do you think the stroll on the 
beach with Obama and Christie was? It was politics.
 Why do you think Obama called Christie and 
wanted to go into town? It was politics. And 
you know how much I abhor politics!" 
"Benghazi, rawr!  Benghazi, rawr!  Benghazi, rawr!
Benghazi, rawr!  Benghazi, rawr!  Benghazi, rawr!
Et cetera, et cetera, and so forth!"

Friday, November 02, 2012

"Elect me, or I'll send Joe Pesci to Wisconsin to
cuss you all out!"
If you discover a beached whale on the golf course, just call 
New England Aquarium's 24-Hour Marine Animal Hotline.
Mark Cuban Offers Donald Trump $1 Million
 to Shave His Beaver
Although the Governor was twice the man the President was, 
Hurricane Sandy had helped minimize their difference. 
The dog was on the table, but, so far, Social Security
and Medicare were not.
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #19
David Mamet
"I take pride in the fact that my library contains no 
book published after Calvin Coolidge left office."
Chicago conspirators bump unemployment rate up to 7.9%, 
just to befuddle Jack Welch's incredible shrinking brain.
"The average density of stars in the universe is 
about 1.4 per 100 billion cubic light-years."  The 
average density of stars in Hollywood is reportedly
 much higher.
Public Service Announcement

Thursday, November 01, 2012

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #435
John Koster
It was just another day in Mitt Romney's Potemkin Village.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

"Hold on, everybody!  Walmart has
everything under control!"
"Leprosy?  Yes, leprosy has already taken three fingers 
off my right hand!"
Yes, it's true:  Republican life does begin at deception.
Whooping Crane

Drooping Crane
"Republicans are born, not made!"
Jackie O'Lantern
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #73
Nightmare on FEMA Street
Skeletor Sez:  "The 2016
presidential race starts
in just seven days!"
Warm Scuzzies #342
Shashank Tripathi
Wild Bore Goes on Rampage in Wild Boar

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Warm Scuzzies #341
Stephen Einhorn
Whiteworld #11
If the Colorblind Lead the Colorblind
"First of all, I would chloroform FEMA and send it back to 
the states for evisceration and then to the private sector for 
the coup de grâce." 
"You know, kids have good instincts. They look at the 
other guy and say, 'Well, that’s a bullsh***er, I can tell, 
because I know what letters those asterisks stand for.'" 
You've probably never heard of a 'Charitable Remainder
 Unitrust', an exotic tax-dodging device.  Mitt Romney 
has, and it's one of the reasons he's rich and you're not.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Sure, you've heard of Tim the Enchanter.  But have
you heard of Fearguth the Disenchanter?
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #434
John McTernan
As Paul Ryan might say were he smart 
enough, "Blue Gal isn't everything, 
she's the only thing!"
If Pam Geller happens to knock at your
door this Halloween, please be advised
that offering her a Snickers bar won't
satisfy her.
Are you ready for the Romney School of Go Kartography?
When Great Britain (including its colonies in North America) 
finally adopted the Gregorian Calendar in 1752, it was 
necessary to correct the old Julian Calendar by 11 days.  
As a result, Wednesday, September 1752 was 
followed by Thursday, 14 September 1752. Rioting 
ensued, with people demanding, "Give us our eleven 
days back!"  In contrast, those who are inclined to vote 
for Mitt Romney today aren't rioting and demanding, 
"Give us our eight years with George W. Bush back!"  
Why is this?
"You did good, Poppy, when you endorsed Tommy
 Thompson for the Senate.  Tammy Baldwin is 
real liberal bitch, even worse than Al Franken!"
"The Romney Burger is a nod to New England 
surf and turf, and includes a signature BGR 
patty topped with lobster and hollandaise." 
And don't forget to add a side of aromatic

Gas-X Fries.
MSNBC Panel Ponders Whether Hurricane Sandy
 Is a Sign from God Whose Political Impact Will 
Be Good For Obama or Bad For Romney

"The Zomneys are coming, 
the Zomneys are coming!"

Thin and Effeminate Man

Fat and Masculine Man
"Dung, sir."
"I've got your dung."
"What dung?"
"Your dung. Three hundredweight 
of heavy Mitt. Where do you 
want it?"
"Watergate,  Debategate, Billygate, Filegate, Woolygate, 
Zippergate, Fajitagate, Nipplegate, Waitergate, 
Benghazigate!  In short, Blah, Blah, Blahgate!"
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #156
Jim Geraghty and Andrew Malcolm