One of the highlights of the annual

White House Correspondents' Dinner

is Group Tongue Bathing.

U.S. Builds Replica of Iran, Now Trying to Find a Place

 to Store It

Isn't it a violation of the Irony Act for the leader of the 

47 Traitors to also be the leader of the fight to renew the

 Patriot Act?

"I'm tellin' ya, Mugsy, Grandpa Walnuts never laid a 

glove on me!"

What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #18

A Freshwater Pocket Shark

Somewhere Over the Rainbow Jesus,

 Rod Dreher Lies

Video Emerges of Police Not Shooting Unarmed Black Man

After Little Girl Was Asked How She Would React 

If She Found Out Ted Cruz Was Her Father

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #58

Angelo John Gage

Big Bad John had begun to fear Chinless Mitch's face

was melting.

David Petraeus:  Not Too Big to Fail, But Too Big to Jail

Ted Cruz Leads Charge of the Light Brigade

 But Is AWOL at the Climactic Battle of 

Loretta Lynch

The President needed to kill another terrorist, but he

couldn't remember where he put the remote.

Warm Scuzzies #550

James Caputo

Bobby Jindal Vows to Become the

George Wallace of Same-Sex

Marriage Discrimination

"Brother David, Governor Walker is making us look

bad on that rather unpleasant immigration business.  

Wouldn't you agree that the time has come for us to cut 

his puppet strings?"

"Brother Charles, here's a toast to such a capital idea!"

Archaeologist in Charge of Election 

2000 Dig Claims to Have Found

the World's Oldest Hanging Chad

They call Marco Rubio 'The Republican Savior' 

because he alone can save the GOP from all the 

other crank wankers who want to be President.

Dunk, the NSA's Earth Day Mascot, Sez:  "Instead of 

throwing your phone calls, emails, and texts away, we 

recycle them each and every day."

Oklahomans were relieved to learn that 

their earthquakes are caused by fracking, 

not by giant underground carnivorous

 worms.

"So much space debris!" laments the Earth Day Pessimist.

"So many satellites!" sings the Earth Day Optimist.

"Aiiieee!  I need a wider bicycle seat!"

"Hey. If you criticize my necktie, I'll drop your ass!"

Warm Scuzzies #549

Steve Knight

Some people at Coachella didn't take drugs; they wore them.

Flag Desecration #86

Steampunk Hippo

The Politico Illustrated #39

'Koch brothers will offer audition to Jeb Bush'

"I am not a quack!"

Local Man Using GoFundMe to Buy His Very Own

Personal Congressman

For Whom the Blue Bell Tolls

Kermit Sues Newly-Discovered Costa Rican

Frog for Trademark Infringement

Fox & Friends Warn of New Form of Pot 

That Is More Dangerous Than You’re Being 

Led to Believe

Four Out of Five Doctors Are 99 and 44/100 Percent Sure 

There Is a 91% Chance Lindsey Graham Will Run for

 President

World's Worst Yobs #327

Peter Schweizer

Bright Bart

Not-So Breitbart

While he is waiting for God to tell him to run for President,

God is waiting for John Kasich to be struck by lightning.

The world breathed a collective sigh of relief when it

learned that being Marco Rubio is not a choice.

"Obamacare makes America more like North Korea 

and me more like Kim Jong-un."

During the Civil War, it was the Unionists, not the 

Secessionists, who defended the Second Amendment.

Ted Cruz is probably too young to remember that.

Just as horseracing was the Sport of Kings,  political

 campaigning is the Sport of Billionaires.

"The Pink Monster is small enough to fit in your pocket or in 

the palm of your hand, and I guarantee your kids will love it! 

 Available exclusively from my online campaign store, it's

 only $19.95 plus shipping and handling."

"Fox’s Chris Wallace Puts Lindsey Graham on ‘Psychiatrist

 Couch’ to Find Out Why He’s Still a Bachelorette"

"L'EGGO MY EGGO®!"

The thought of suffocating murderers with nitrogen

gas made Governor Fallin's whole body tingle.

 Diagram That Explains to Children Oklahoma's New Law

Allowing the Use of Nitrogen Gas to Execute Bad Moo Cows