Saturday, August 06, 2016

"Every time I return the ball to my master, he throws it further 
and further out into the lake.  He's got a better arm than 
Carl Furillo!"
David Brooks Excogitating the Building of a
Republican Party in Exile
Diving at the Summer Olympics
Mascot for Trump's
13-Man Team of
Economic Advisers
What a Difference a Little 'T' Makes
“The economic numbers are getting worse and worse all the
 time. If they get real bad, I hope it happens fast. We’ll
 certainly blame them, OK? We’re gonna blame them.” 
Journey to the Center-Right of the
Universal Mind
When Trump wouldn't endorse him, Paul Ryan was sad. 
 Then when Trump did, Ryan was even sadder.

Friday, August 05, 2016

The Martyrdom of Dan Patrick
[After Il Sodoma 1477-1549]
With guns blazing, Todd Akin lauds Donald
 Trump's rhetoric as "a breath of fresh air."
"What might ye be doing, sir?"
"I'm showing Barack Obama how to prove to Carl 
Paladino that he's a Christian."
The Word Is Out
Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead and 
Carl Paladino is still undead.
Trump said he saw a nonexistent Iran hostage money video. 
Then he said he didn't see it.  Which Trump should we believe?
Hey, somebody has already made a movie
about the Trump campaign!

Thursday, August 04, 2016

Donald Trump is seeing things again.
Using Pocket Constitutions to Repel Petty Tyrants
Said to Be More Effective Than Using Crucifixes to 
Evade Vampires
Headlines We Like to See #4
'Freedom Caucus knives out for Ryan after 
Huelskamp loss'
Kafka in Reverse
In 2020, the Year of Perfect Political Vision, the GOP will 
nominate Jethro Q. Walrustitty.
For some reason, no one has ever accused Jeff Zucker of
being 'just another pretty face'.
God Rumored to Be Using Presidential Race
 to Separate Christians from Evangelicals
Warm Scuzzies #701
Jerry Larpenter
"What's up with Eastwood being so down on pussy?"
"At 86, he probably doesn't remember the good old days."
Superannuated Member of 'Loudmouth Dick'
 Generation Berates 'Pussy Generation'
"Hey, Clint Eastwood, you use the phrase,
'Pussy Generation', as if being or having a
 'pussy' is something bad.  You must be a 
member of the 'Dick Generation'."
Trump's Taj Mahal Takes a Gamble, Drops Out of
Casino Race

Wednesday, August 03, 2016

Tim Huelskamp, once described by a fellow Republican as
one of "the most egregious assholes" in the House, has 
crashed and burned in the Teabagger Barrens.  So sad.
Even our metaphors are out of control.
"RNC Chairman Reince Priebus is 'apoplectic' over 
Donald Trump's refusal to back House Speaker 
Paul Ryan or Sen. John McCain."
Killer Klown
"So what if Barack Obama was only an Illinois state senator
when Humayun Khan was killed in Iraq!  He's still to blame!"
CNN, the Most Trusted Name in Birther News
Donald Trump displays the Purple Heart he received for
suffering a bone spur in his heel during the Vietnam War.
Angry Bowel Syndrome

Tuesday, August 02, 2016

Move Over, Rocky Balboa!
"Melania, you must be punished for only reading the
Cliffs Notes version of Venus in Furs."
Inspired by Trump, Paul Krugman adds 'Derp Spiral'
 to America's political vocabulary.
Donald Trump with the Baby He Didn't Kick Out of 
His Rally
The Politico Illustrated #46
'Trump boots baby from Virginia rally'
World's Worst Yobs #363
Seth Mandel
Responding to assertions that he is unfit to serve as
President, the Trump campaign has issued an updated
Based on appearance alone, it could be argued that Viktor 
Yanukovych and Paul Manafort are one and the same.
Archaeologists Discover Intriguing Post-Byzantine Mosaic
As the saying goes, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't 
mean they're not out to get you!"
At 19, Allen Ivanov was too young to buy beer, but
not too young to buy an AR-15, which he used to
murder three teenagers.
Adventures in Lexicology #21
Sciamachy (SKEE-ah-mahk-ee), n. A battle
against imaginary enemies. [When he says
Hillary is the Devil, Trump is engaging in
Donald Trump Opens New Front in Cosmic Battle Against 
the Devil Hillary, Queen of Iniquity

Monday, August 01, 2016

If what we see in the New York Post is true and if Trump 
were elected President, they're gonna need a bigger bed
 in the Lincoln Bedroom.
Charlie Hurt Sez: "Khizr Khan was tricked 
into smearing Donald Trump."