Saturday, December 14, 2019

Rage Puppet
Latest Polls Show Trump Has a Lock on the Cyclops Vote
Trump's Next Nominee to the Supreme Court
Moscow Mitch Flexes His 
Anti-Impeachment Muscles,
Tells Trump, "We're On
the Same Side"
Do you know diddly?
Clinton had Socks, Bush had Miss Beazley, Obama had Bo,
 and Trump has a Three-Eared Sphincter.
Where does the water go when the tide goes out?

Friday, December 13, 2019

Not Just a Scary Movie
Psychologists call this strange phenomenon
 'Narcissistic Mini-Meism'.
This looks like a job for Melania Trump and her 'Be Best'
anti-bullying campaign.
Great-Grandfather Harangues Great-Granddaughter
for Preferring a Vegetable Plate Over Big Macs
Even Satan has standards.
Trump Impeachment a 
'Solemn and Sad' Day
Trump Impeachment Defense Team
Recruiting Poster

Thursday, December 12, 2019

Q: What do you get when you graft a seventy-three-year-old 
male head on a sixteen-year-old female body?
A:  Dishonest graft.
Apparently, pb&j has been around for a long, long time.
Matt Gaetz was arrested on suspicion of DUI on October 30, 
2008, when he was 26 years old.  Gaetz refused to take a 
field sobriety test or a Breathalyzer test, and then started 
ranting, inexplicably, about Hunter Biden's drug problem.
While Trump was dissing a 16-year-old girl, Obama 
was having a blast with a 14-year-old boy firing 
marshmallow cannon.
'Twas the Night Before Christmas and Rudolph Overslept
If you have a son or daughter who indicates an interest in 
becoming a lawyer, just point at William Barr and exclaim, 
"Nay! Nay! A thousand times Nay!"
Krazy Kat in Tinfoil Hat Joins
Trump Impeachment Defense
Trump's Twitter Incontinence  indicates 
a loss of Blatter Control.

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Got Woody?
"Sorry, but Picasso seems to be stuck between
his Blue Period and his Rose Period and isn't
hiring any new models right now."

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Still Possible William Barr Is
an Anaphylactic Reaction to
Do you have any idea how many storks have been
 grounded because of Amazon?
Actually, a vacuum cleaner doesn't clean vacuums, but if it did
 and you cleaned it, wouldn't you be a vacuum cleaner cleaner?
The Nativity Demythologized
From the Infancy Gospel of Mogen David
Majestic Plural (Nudge-Nudge, Wink-Wink)
Has Christopher Steele driven a wedge 
between father and daughter?
"Did you know that 'It's crackers to slip a rozzer the
 dropsy in snide' means 'It's a bad idea to try to bribe
 a policeman with counterfeit money'?"
Impeachment is a tragedy, not a comedy, so stop laughing.

Monday, December 09, 2019

Live.  Eat.  Shop,  Reuse.
Steve Castor's Life in a Nutshell
Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow
Were you born in the ninth month?  Well, shame on you!
The Fabulous Speedo Brothers!
Operators Are Standing By Because 
Somebody Stole Their Chairs
Trump Scarfs $120,000 Banana
Purchase Price of Local Man's Snapshot of Photographer
 Taking Picture of 'The Comedian' Includes Free Shipping
"Did you know the first documented occurrence of the
middle finger gesture in the United States was by a 
baseball pitcher for the Boston Beaneaters in 1886?"
"Do your worst!" Spartacus taunted the Romans. 
"I will live to be 103!"
Mayor Pete Tries to Baffle the Professor

Sunday, December 08, 2019

Rabbit Pleads Guilty to Spending $600 for Airfare to Send 
Duncan Hunter To and From Washington, D. C., to Purchase 
24 Carrot Cake
Warm Scuzzies #899
Seema Verma
United Daughters of the Confederacy Blame
 'Outside Agitators' for Ruining Christmas
Their debate over the 'original understanding' of the 
Second Amendment had taken a violent turn.
Playmobil Trump Bombs Bigly at the Box Office
Being oblivious was his only hope.