Saturday, October 15, 2011

The Three Legs of the Conservative Stool
Why God has called Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann,
Rick Santorum, and Herman Cain to run for President
in the same year and in the same election remains
 unclear. Perhaps He is not really omniscient
after all and is merely hedging His bets.
"My son lost his job due to sunspots caused
by the Obama administration."

Friday, October 14, 2011

"Do you realize how much 'baby bumps' cost these days?"
One regulation libertarians are fairly certain
they will eventually see get revoked is the
one mandating Big Foot crossing signs in
areas where they're obviously not needed.
"This is my first time to appear on
bildungblog.  I'm  very proud to
be here.  Now, isn't it about
time we said the Pledge of
Shard of Shattered Economy Momentarily Blinds Chairman
of the Federal Reserve; Thankfully, His Injury Is Not
Thought to Be Life-Threatening
Details are sketchy at this hour, but the latest
report seems to indicate that Barack Obama's
secret plan to win the 2012 presidential election
involves, in one way or the other, the New York
Times and a trombone.
Barack Obama (aka The Angel of Death) Sticks to
Truman's ‘Do-Nothing Congress’ Line of 1948
"Whoa!  That's what the seventy-two virgins in Heaven look
likeNow I see why they're still virgins!"
Multiply this by 250 if you wish to know what it feels like
to be Mitt Romney.
Condomless Sex With Ashton Kutcher? Why
 Are Young People Becoming So Cavalier
About Unsafe Sex with Hollywood Assholes?
"We’d love to see, for example, a vote in the United
States Senate on a moratorium on Federal regulations,
which are coming out by the thousands, costing
businesses billions and billions of jobs."
"'Billions', sir?"
"Did I say 'billions'?  I meant to say 'trillions'."
Did conservatism cause Rush Limbaugh
to resemble an anal wart?  Or is the
cause just another one of life's many
 known unknowns?
Saul Bellow guffawed when he learned President Obama had
dispatched 100 U. S. soldiers to Africa to assist in the search
for multimillionaire and international troublemaker,
Henderson the Rain King.
Oh my God.
Let's get some shoes.
Let's get some shoes.
Let's get some shoes.
Let's get some shoes."
One man's evolution is another man's
descent into madness.
"Neigh, neigh, a thousand times neigh!"
"It’s been a rough month. We have been brutalized and
beaten up and chewed up in the press ...  We are being
brutalized by our opponents, and our own party. So much
of that is, I think they look at Rick, and say, "We can't
 imagine why he married a whiner like Anita."
"Is it true, Mr. Cain, that you developed your 9-9-9 tax
plan while serving as mayor of SimCity?"
"The Occupy Wall Street
protesters are crackhead
drug dealers.  I know
this to be a fact
because I'm one of
their best customers."

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Poor Mitt Romney!  Robert Jeffress says he's not a Christian.
Rush Limbaugh says he's not a conservative.  By jingo, the
next thing you know somebody will be saying he's not a
"I brush my whole body three times a day
 with Colgate Total® Advanced
Whitening.  Can't you tell?"
One of these two is a clown. The other is
a governor. Hint: the governor has bright
red hair.
'Black Walnut' New GOP Flavor of the Week
Friends Say Used-Car Dealer and Alleged Iranian Plotter
Manssor Arbabsiar Frequently Lost Socks in the Hozone
Libyan Rebels Rock!
If he were real, the LAST person in the world Scott Brown
 would plagiarize should be Liddy Dole.  But, of course,
he's not.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #339
Sam Mullet
The Politico Illustrated #15
"Bachmann shows signs of life"
What do you get when you mix whiskey, guns, bars, and
Tennessee?  Republican Lawmaker/Lawbreaker 
Curry Todd.
Rick Scott Sez: "We don't need any more anthropologists!
We, the vanguard from Planet Nibiru, already know all we
need to know about humans before the full-scale in-
vasion of Earth begins in 2012."
"Size matters, especially in my line of work."
"As a matter of fact the Founding Fathers were very much
afraid if that because they’d just had this experience with
this far-away government that had centralized thought
process and planning and what have you, and then it was
actually the reason that we fought the revolution in the
16th century, shortly after the invention of bottled beer."
One of Erick Erickson's jobs is teaching others how to whine
while declaring, "Suck it up you whiners!" 

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #338
Thomas Menino
"Friends, Solitaire Players, Baseball Score-Checkers,
lend me your ears!"

"Well, I'll be doggone! I knew you had been the CEO
of Godfather's Pizza, but I didn't know you had also
been an ambassador to Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan."
"I ain't never goin' home again
I was tuggin' at my mama's breast
The first year really is the best."
Who would want to occupy Boise, Idaho?  Sure, it's
dirty work, but somebody has to do it.
"I still support the troops.
Ha!  Missed me!
I still support the troops.
Ha!  Missed me!
I still support the troops.
Ha!  Missed me!"
Seattle Superhero Phoenix Jones Arrested, Charged with
'Impersonating a Koch Brother'
Old Ween

New Ween
"Congressman West, you have been described as a 'one-
man circular firing squad'.  To what do you owe
this acclaim?"
"Why did Jacob Weisberg doom me by predicting I will win
 the Republican presidential nomination?  I thought he
was my pal!" 
Erick Erickson Announces 'We Are the 53 Percent' 
to Form Alliance with 'We Are the 1%' in Fight
Against 'We Are the 99%'
Real governors ought not to look like Scott Walker.
Joe the Plumber Promises to Unclog Backed-Up Congress

Monday, October 10, 2011

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #127
Warner Todd Huston and Victoria Jackson