Saturday, August 08, 2015

Donald Trump Firing Roger Stone Firing Donald Trump
"Take it from me, Mr. Trump,
your ears simply aren't
presidential enough."
"Mr. Erickson, in support of our mission to amuse ourselves
to death, would you please explain the difference between
'common decency' and 'political correctness'?"
Are GOPers riding the last train to Splitsville?
Austin City Council Decides Not to Regulate Holy Smoke 
from BBQ Joints
Erick Erickson and Donald Trump Go Toe to Toe

Friday, August 07, 2015

Instead of 'hiking the Appalachian Trail' a la Mark Sanford,
 Todd Courser (R-MI) and Cindy Gamrat (R-MI) 'formed 
their own legislative coalition'.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #635
Todd Courser
Q: Why has the United States given over $100 billion 
to Israel?
A: Because it is expensive for Israel to keep the Palestinians 
from invading the United States.
Vacuum in Bell Jar Guaranteed to Be
100% Sugar/Saturated Fat/High 
Fructose Corn Syrup/Gluten/GMO/
Artificial Sweetener/MSG/Red #40/
Yellow #5/BHA/BHT/Potassium
Bromate/Sodium Nitrite/Lactose/
"Charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up."
"Maybe it's the booze talking, but I want you to know 
I love booze."
Donald Trump Gives the Sign of the Sleeping Dubya
in the First GOP Debate
The God of Irony laughed when, in Cleveland's Quicken Loans 
Arena, Donald Trump exclaimed, "These lenders aren’t babies. 
These are total killers!"
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #115
Trumpfish: It Came from the GOP Abyss

Thursday, August 06, 2015

The Greening of Jeb!
Rumor has it Donald Trump will show up for tonight's
GOP debate wearing his popular horse's ass disguise.
"I'm angry, I'm white, and I'm a male.  Next question!"
[He's also old.]

Wednesday, August 05, 2015

Mormon Church Releases First Photos of 
Joseph Smith's Pet Rock
When two of his allies were indicted on campaign finance
 fraud charges, Rand Paul would've commented, but he 
had been playing with the Krazy Glue again.
"Welcome to McDonald's!  May I take your order?"
"Yes, I'd like two Lettuce Burgers and a bottle
of Asparagus Water."
Q:  Why is Jeb Bush's mouth closed?
A:  He's waiting his turn to misspeak.
Warm Scuzzies #576
Troy Middlebrooks
The next time you meet Trump adviser Roger Stone, 

ask to see the Richard Nixon tattoo on his back.
John Kasich's face looks like it caught fire and was
put out with a meat tenderizer.
Louie Gohmert Sez:  "The attorney general will not cast
 aspersions on my asparagus water!"

Tuesday, August 04, 2015

Warm Scuzzies #575
Peter James Boby
It appears Rick Perry won't be riding in the Benham 
Brothers Sedan Chair to the first GOP presidential debate.
Which Troll Has the Toni?
Were one to decode Jeb Bush's facial expression, it would
say: “Yes, $120 million helps. I’m playing by the rules of
 the game the way it’s laid out. If people don’t like it, 
that’s just tough luck."
"When Bill Clinton says, ‘I didn't have sex with that woman,’ 
he did, and when I say, 'I had sex with that woman', I didn't."
"But you know, we were happy in those days, though we 
were poor."
"Yes. BECAUSE we were poor. My Dad used to say to me, 
"Money doesn't buy you happiness."
"He was right. I was happier then and I had NOTHIN'!"
"But you try and tell the young people today that ... 
and they won't believe you."
GOP Presidential Hopefuls in New Hampshire Playing 
Where in the World Is Mike Huckabee?
"Officer Friendly, why do you tell so many fibs?"

Monday, August 03, 2015

Scott Walker Gets Punked by Publishers Clearing House
The Decline and Fall of GOP
Action Figures
It's not often that Texans get to see the 
mugshot of the top lawyer in the state,
who has just been indicted on two
felony fraud charges.  Thank you,
Ken Paxton!
'Ultimate Frisbee' Recognized by 
International Olympic Committee
Freedom Partners Chamberpot of Commerce

You know just how bad the other 16 GOP candidates must 
be when Donald Trump is always beating them in the polls.
Freedom Partners Chamber of Commerce
(AKA Kochsuckers Я Us)

Sunday, August 02, 2015

'Donald Trump Surges in 
New NBC News/WSJ Poll'
Allegories for Our Time #33
Voter apathy is a function of
America's corporate oligarchy.
"Our Great Leader"
The Eyes of Texas Are Upon Him