Saturday, December 05, 2009

Welcome to Assbook, the Internet's 'New' New Thing
"Experience my fist of fury, Internet eavesdroppers!"
Anti-Precipitation Protester Gives
Thumbs Down to Local Weather
Allegories for Our Time #12
Homo Sapiens: a Tower Poised Over an Abyss
Riot Policeman's Boot's-Eye View of the World
Tea Vendor Taking a Break Between Tea Parties
Should we hope that the tips Barack took
from Tiger were limited to golf?
Historically, the Straw Man Fallacy had been one of the
easiest Logical Fallacies to refute. But that was before
the Germans created Strawmanstein 3D.
Things to Avoid #21
Nose Leeches
Warm Scuzzies #42
Max Baucus
World's Worst Jobs #106
Pakistani Suicide Bomber Body Parts Picker-Upper
Another Afghanistan Insider Joke Bombs at West Point
"So, Glenn Beck is the 'Christmas Sweater', eh?
Well, I don't just sweat at Christmas. I sweat
all the time!"
"Why doncha come up and see me sometime, Spider-Man?"
Two-Minute Haters #8
Catherina Wojtowicz
Name of U. S. Military Campaign in Afghanistan
Changed from 'Operation Enduring Freedom' to
'Operation Enduring Operation'
Factoid of the Hour #8
Nabisco manufactures twenty
varieties of Wheat Thins.
The Idaho man who likes to dress up as Jesus and carry a
cross was surprised today when his neighbors, who like
to dress up as Roman soldiers, crucified him.
Afghan Timeline (Creationist Version)

Afghan Timeline (Evolutionist Version)
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #83
Everyone has a porkgasm on the Zappath Day,
the Second Day of Zappadan.

Friday, December 04, 2009

John Sidney McCain: One of the Most Lethal Improvised
Ennui Devices Ever Deployed by the International
Misanthrope Conspiracy
Warm Scuzzies #41
Ronald Williams
"My price is slightly higher west of the Mississippi."
Is there a graphologist in the house?
"Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo
Put 'em together and what have you got
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #113
Russell Wiseman
"This is Teabagger World Headquarters,
buddy, so, if you don't mind, keep off
the damn lawn!"
Dynamic Inertia
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #112
Andrew Malcolm
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #82
Come as you are to the First Day of Zappadan.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

With the aid of her inter-dimensional glasses, she
could see that, on a small scale, killing was called
'Crime' and didn't pay. But she could also see
that, on a large scale, killing was called 'War'
and did.
Erik, the Prince of Blackwater, would like to take this
opportunity to thank all the American taxpayers
who have made it possible for him to become
a multi-millionaire. "Gosh! I didn't realize
you had it in you!" he says gratefully.
Texas Couple Say Hen Laid Egg with Cross on It;
Colorado Couple Ups the Ante, Say Their Hen
Laid Egg with Anti-Christ on It
Some people feel right at home with algae. Some don't.
Off-Season at the Obama Shrine
Things to Avoid #20
100% Post-Consumer Waste
Do trophy wives only come with blond hair?
"As this doctor's order clearly shows, I was supposed to
receive six electroshock therapy treatments last week.
But, as you can tell, I only got five!"
"That's right, Jackie, it's a Swiffer® 360° Duster!"
"What is America's policy toward 'thigh highs',
Madame Secretary?"
As could be plainly seen, it was going to take some
doing to re-energize the base in 2010.
Fearguth's Rules of Order #37
Monkeys have already seen every shuck-and-jive
routine known to man, so think of something else
to do when you meet one on the pathway of life.
Conditions on the ground were pretty dry.
Oxymorons for Our Time #15
Smart Smoker
Dems Look for Deal on Public Option --
And the Answer May Be Trigger
Ben Bernanke: Is He Extremely Misvaluated?
Gallup Introducing New Hourly
Presidential Tracking Poll