Saturday, April 14, 2012

“I despise you people, and I’m not the guy you come in 
and dump on without getting punched in the mouth.”
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #142
John Hawkins and Dick Armey

Friday, April 13, 2012

Rush Limbaugh, who is 61, says, "If I had a daughter, 
she would look like Ann Romney" (who is 63).  How 
exactly would that work? 
Q:  "What's the difference between a Welfare Queen and
Ann Romney?"
A:  "A Welfare Queen has only one Cadillac."
How can you tell the difference between a 
Mormon Baptismal Font and a Jacuzzi?
"A Gingrich presidency will submit to the United Nations 
a treaty that extends the right to bear arms as a human 
right for every person on the planet because every 
person on the planet deserves the right to defend 
themselves from everyone else bearing arms."
"I would shake hands with you, but we're in Tennessee and 
handshakes are considered a 'gateway sexual activity'."
Mitt Romney Gets Ready to Court the NRA
"Yes, Roger, I'm aware of the War on
Caterpillars, but, sorry, only good 
caterpillars get to become butterflies."
"Why is Joe Lieberman all diked out?"
"Didn't you hear?  Joe Klein has just been
named 3rd Runner-Up for 'Wanker of the
U. S. Cuts Food Aid to North Korea, Hits Kim Jong-Un 
Square in the Breadbasket
Ralph Shortey Sez:  "I'm in oil and gas.  I was out on a lease
 at one time and I got attacked by a turkey. Wait until you 
get attacked by a turkey. You will know the fear that 
turkey can invoke in a person. And so I beat it with a 
club. That was all I could do. I wish that I had a gun 
with me.”
Even anagrams of 'Reince Priebus' are funny.  How about
'Curb Eerie Spin'?  Or 'Epic Rube Risen'?
When she began to light one cigarette off another, 
it was looking more and more like she had 
developed a bad habit.
Big Bigots, Little Bigots #8
Jim Goad
Sign of the Times #25
Paul Ryan Conclave of the Sacred Heart
Backslappers with Dirty Faces #4
William Howell
What a Way to Start the Day!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

I Remember Dubya #54
"You know, I love to mountain bike ride.  What I don't 
like to do is be beaten on a mountain bike ride by 
a one-legged veteran, but it's likely to happen."
"Kate Winslet's Titanic Breasts Censored in China"
It is untrue that Ann Romney has never
worked outside the home.  When she first
met Mitt, Ann was working as a docent in

Dracula's Castle.
Axl Rose Declines Induction into 
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos
Ever wonder what a Card-Carrying 
Marxist-Lennonist looks like?
What to Wear When You Go to
Burger King for a Bacon Sundae
Guess who's not smiling today.
Mark Halperin seemed to be unaware that he had been
named the 4th Runner-Up for 'Wanker of the Decade'.
Our Motto:  "The NRA Is for Pussies!"
Hindenburg Crashes Again, This Time
in New York During Bruce Springsteen
Sign of the Times #24
First They Came for Lugar
White Tail-Gunner

Black Tail-Gunner

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Tennessee Opens Door to Cremationism in Schools
Fox News needs your help in deciding who won the
Lincoln-Douglass Debates of 1858.
Inspired by endorsements from Sarah Palin and Herman Cain, 
and in an attempt to further bolster his vice-presidential 
credibility, Representative Allen West (R-FL) said today
 he's heard that as many as 80 Democrats in the House of 
Representatives are members of the Communist Party.
Chimp Unconcerned That Smoking Menthol Cigarettes 
Doubles the Risk of Stroke
Lard-Ass Says Americans Turning into 
Couch Potatoes

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

"I love you, too, Mom, but there comes a 
time when we younger koalas need more 
breathing space."
Teen Pregnancies Highest in States with Abstinence-Only 
Policies; Other States Expected to Fall in Line, Finally 
Acknowledging These Policies Really Work

"So what if you're a homo, Elton!  All 
that matters is you're a rich homo!"  
Arizona Legislature Trying to Determine Whether
 the Mother of God's Immaculate Conception 
Occurred After the First Day of the Last 
Menstrual Period of Anne, Her Mother, or 
Two Weeks Before Joachim, Her Father, 
Shot His Wad in Vain
The only problem with the Falcon Waterfree Urinal was 
that it bore a strong resemblance to Rush Limbaugh.
'Bush Tax Cuts' Renamed, Will Now Be Called
 'Reagan Memorial Tax Cuts'
The sudden and precipitous decline in sweater vest sales 
caught Rick Santorum completely off guard.  Spring had 
come early that year because of the Global Warming 
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #380
Joe Horn
The Good News
  Chris Wallace is 64.
The Bad News
If he lives as long as his father, he might still be 
shoveling bullshit for Fox News in 2040.
"Remember Chris Lee?"
"No, 'fraid not."
"Well, it's probably because you never saw
him with all his clothes on."
No matter how hard the Jersey Samson pushed, 
the Walls of Dagon would not fall down.
This is NOT a caricature of Chris Christie.
All the other pictures you've seen of the
New Jersey governor ARE caricatures.
"Yes, I realize Sheriff Babeu is tailgating me, 
but he means no harm."