Saturday, November 11, 2017

"They say the neon lights are bright
On Broadway."
Warm Scuzzies #752
Mary Franson
"He said he absolutely did not meddle in our election. 
He did not do what they are saying he did."
Fox News Legal Analyst Sez: “I found Moore's answers to 
be unconvincing and implausible, his entire story to be, in a 
word, unbelievable. Which means he’s lying.”
[When a wingnut loses Fox, he's a goner.]
Insult-O-Matic Concerned That Putin Feels
 'Very Insulted' By Russian Election 
Interference Charges
To Russia, with Love

Friday, November 10, 2017

"I'm sorry to inform you that your brain 
has been Hannitized."
"Let what just happened to Roy Moore be a lesson to you all!"
Moments Before Kathleen Hartnett White's Hair
Took Wing and Flew Away
Alabama Fundamentalist Jettisons Belief in Virgin Birth by 
Claiming Joseph the Adult Carpenter and Mary the 
Teenager Were Jesus' Parents
Inventor Says 'Thoughts and Prayers Machine' Will
Save Americans 75 Million Person-Hours Annually

Thursday, November 09, 2017

"You can't fake the Trump agenda. It is a winning agenda 
This is the agenda America needs now!"
"I give China great credit for raping our country and
 perpetrating the greatest theft in the history of the world. 
I blame past administrations for allowing this to take place."
"Oy vey, I didn't suffer six broken ribs and pleural effusion 
from 'landscaping issues'!"
The asymmetry of the Sarah Huckabee Sanders eyes
is really quite alarming.
Trump Cited for International Osculation Protocol Violation

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #707
Matt Gaetz
Recently-Declassified Photograph #45
Slide from a PowerPoint Show Jesus Used During His 
TransJordan Ministry
In the Year of Recompence for Trump
The Loneliness of the Web-Enabled Crown Prince
"I came in like a wrecking ball
All I wanted was to break your walls."
Chris Christie Gets in Argument with Constituent Outside
 Polling Place, Says His Approval Rating Is 15%, not 14%
Maine Referendum to Expand Obamacare Tells 
Governor LePage to Take His Veto and Shove It
Trump Blames GOP Losses in Virginia on His 11-Minute 
Twitter Blackout on November 2
Black Lives Matter Activist Wins Charlotte
City Council Seat
Right about then, Maria Bartiromo made like a Bird of
Paradise and flew up Rupert Murdoch's fundament.
William McGurn wants you to know that his thoughts
and prayers carry more weight than yours do.
In an Ohio town that's 92% White, Trumpnik Mayor Tom
 Coyne, who brushes his entire body with Ultra White, goes
 down in a crushing defeat.
Virginia to Alabama: 'Send Roy Moore
Back to the Funny Farm'
For Taylor Swift to be the Stroke Queen of
White Supremacists, NeoNazis, and 
Aryan Firsters is not at all surprising.

Tuesday, November 07, 2017

Robert Marshall, Virginia's 'Chief Homophobe' and
Conservative Warrior for the Laws of Nature, 
Becomes Politically Extinct
Man with Personality of a Boiled Turnip Defeats Man
with Personality of a Rotten Egg for Governor of
When he went online, he always kept two of these handy,
one for each hand.
In Carter Page, the Ph.D. finally
met its match.
Petty Larsony
Trump in South Korea to Play Let's Make a Deal
Swift Supremacist Threatens to Sue
Critic of Song Lyrics
"Who's that?"
"It's a Trump voter who was played the fool
by Russian Facebook trolls."
White House Says Too Soon to Talk about the 
Earth Exploding
Journalism Made Easy
Adventures in Lexicology #22
Woolerygathering (wuləriˈɡæðərɪŋ), n. Indulgence in
 mindless thought or dreamy imagining of Mr. Dingle
 spinning the Wheel of Fortune. [Chuck is woolery-
gathering again.]
When asked why he confessed to sins he didn't even commit, 
Carter Page replied, "I just get a kick out of fessing up,
especially on camera."
Gaffemaster Perry Performing 'Straight Outta My Mind'
As has now become apparent, the election of Trump 
in 2016 was in reality a Russian coup d'état.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #706
Hans Fiene
Wilbur Ross, Trump's Commerce Secretary and billionaire
 tax evader, has begun to hibernate early this year.
Warm Scuzzies #751
Sean Dwyer

Monday, November 06, 2017

Greg Abbott in the Hands of an Angry Gollum
Googling Before Electricity Was Discovered
At this very moment, a copycat killer could be buying
a Ruger AR-556 from Academy Sports, just like
Devin Kelley did. It's only $649.99!