"Apparently, you are there and I'm not. And that's the way it is, July 18, 2009."
"Yes, Tim Geithner and Madeleine Albright 'have my back' at the moment, but I don't know if that's just a cliche or if they really are standing behind me right now."
Twitter or Shitter? When it comes to Howie Kurtz, what's the difference?
Big Head Todd
and the Monsters
What if it turned out that making love and making war were two sides of the same coin? What then?
Most people don't know that Bill Murchison's career as a nationally-syndicated conservative columnist was launched when he won the Ugliest Man on Campus contest as an undergraduate.
The 'long form' of Barack Hussein Obama's birth certificate has finally been released. First, the good news for birthers : our current President wasn't born on August 4, 1961, in Hawaii. Second, the bad news: he was born behind the grassy knoll in Dallas, Texas, on November 22, 1963.
Bildungblog Exclusive! World's Biggest Bong Discovered at Birther Boot Camp
Maybe it's true that Joakim Noah's Y-Chromosome
is bigger than David Stern's.
Remember this jerk? Well, while there's a lot to be said in favor of a good memory, sometimes it's better to forget.
Want to feel vicariously the chill of hatred and the thrill of madness? All you have to do is empathize for a few minutes with Senator Jim DeMint (R-SC).
Having enjoyed 30 Days of Fame as the 'World's Oldest Man', Henry Allingham, age 113, died today while chortling at all the losers who get, at most, only 15 Minutes of Fame.
Of all the network offers to provide a friendly place where aides to Governor Mark Sanford could frame the conversation to their boss' advantage, only David Gregory promised to supply the Anal Lube for free.
What really ended the affair between Governor Sanford and his Argentine mistress was when she said she was tired of carrying all the camping gear for their hikes on the Appalachian Trail.
No-Melt Chocolate Created By Swiss Identified by Consumer Product Safety Commission as Choking Hazard
"Look, dude, we're facing a serious logistical challenge here, so could you please dial back the sexual innuendo a notch or two?"
Teens' Numb Thumbs Caused by Texting; Seniors' Thumbs Up Caused by Sexting
Q: "What would Pat Buchanan have to say to get
himself fired from MSNBC?"
A: "Good Lord, Mr. Tillinghast, that was a rusty load!"
Other than a barricade across the road to health
care reform, can anyone think of another use
for Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA)?
Kindle (aka 'Memory Hole')
If you have to ask how much it costs
to buy a conservative lobbying group,
you really can't afford one.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Why is it most people favor 'Obamacare' over 'Malkincare'?
"Yes, my child, I broke my wrist. But you should see the shiner I gave that Dunker who tried to immerse God's Vicar in his own bathtub!"
In one sense, this is a picture of Joe Lieberman. In another sense, it is a picture of what goaded some chemist into formulating Preparation H.
Atwater City Councilman Offers a Recent Photograph as Proof That He Isn't Capable of Understanding What Racism Is
The Unexpurgated Bible #22 "And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men and women that appertained unto Centrism, and all their goods. And the people said, 'Good riddance, O Lord, good riddance!"
You know you're a Ho when people say
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" and it's July.
Republican Senator Announces He'll Vote for Sotomayoras Soon as SomebodyJump Starts His Pacemaker
C Street Group to Re-Brand as 'Whoremongers R Us'
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #19 I Suck Your Flesh 2: The Joy of Sachs
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #57
Catherine Crabill
Thursday, July 16, 2009
What Got Dirk Nowitzki in Trouble with Cristal Taylor, Crystal Ann Taylor, Christian Julie Wellington, Christian B. Travino, Crystal Nobles, Christy Nobles, Kristi Briana Westerhauf, Cristal Taylor Westerhaus, Christa A. Westerhays, Deborah Jackson, Shana Mancini, Crista Santiago, Crystal Ann Santiago, Crystall Ann Taylor, and Kristin L. Rogers--Who, As it Turned Out, Was the Same Woman Who, Using Multiple Aliases, Had Fallen in Love with His Tongue
Let's face it, folks. We Americans always seem to be able to afford ways of killing people. That's free enterprise. But we can't seem to be able to afford to keep people alive with universal health insurance. That's socialism.
Man Says He's Not Embarrassed to Expose His Yellow Teeth
USA, Take Notice: 'Victory in Afghanistan Parade' Draws Huge Crowd in England
"Not all Republican cats are fat. I'm living proof that's just a stereotype."
Cheng Shiqun to Sarah Palin: "If you want to keep your hair from thinning, avoid politics."
"Now that you mention it, I think I began my descent into madness in about 1980, while I was writing speeches for Vice President Mondale."
Republicans Heap Praise on Sotomayor, Say They Were Just Pretending to Be Bigots
Obama's Approval Rating Sinks to 57%; Trigger to Start New War About to Be Pulled?
All that Senator Coburn really needed to know he learned watching I Love Lucy re-runs.
"Mr. Tancredo, were you born a creep, or did you have to learn to be one?"
"Sorry, pal, but I can't see any way you can fulfill your mission in life without getting your feet wet."
An Organization Chart That Even Joe the Dumbass Plumber Can Understand
World's Worst Yobs #112 Ben Stein
Glenn Beck has health care. This means doctors and nurses have to view and touch his squid-like flesh. Ugh!
World's Worst Yobs #111 Cody Willard
If Richard Nixon Had Been an Okie
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
When two Mormon elders appeared on his front porch, he asked if they were selling hand-hammered woks or Miracle Blades III. When they said they weren't selling either, Fearguth turned them away, for he didn't believe in the separation of church and infomercials.