Saturday, August 13, 2016

Remember Meghan McCain's
America, You Sexy Bitch?
No? Well, try harder.
Meghan McCain, author of Dirty Sexy Politics and 
America, You Sexy Bitch, says, "This is a garbage
election."  It must make her feel right at home.
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #142
American Chernobyl
"Good morning, Mr. Phelps, your mission, should 
you decide to accept it . . ."

Friday, August 12, 2016

Headlines We Like to See #5
'GOP insiders: Trump Can't Win'
Old Florida Trumpnik Gets a Stiffy
Big Bigots, Little Bigots #86
Ken Taylor
"Pardon me, but are you a Battleground State, a Swing State, 
or a Toss-Up State?"
Sausage Party Named Official Movie of the 
Donald Trump Presidential Campaign
The World of Jane Orient
"Trump is such a silly human being, don't you think?"
"Yes, I can't imagine purring for him."
American Empire #61
When it collapsed, it was said the American Empire 
had electioned itself to death.
Like Doug Piranha, Trump used sarcasm. 
He knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, 
metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes.
and satire.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Whereas horse racing was once the Sport of Kings, 
presidential elections are now the Sport of Billionaires.
"Stop calling me Phineas T. Bluster!"
Warm Scuzzies #703
Michael Tassone
Not since George Adamski proved in 1954 that
flying saucers have landed has someone been
so bold as to claim that Barack Obama and
Hillary Clinton were the co-founders of ISIS.
World's Worst Yoobs #169
Kayleigh McEnany
So Long, and Thanks for All
the Rubes!
Trump had been warned not to open the 
Ark of the Covenant, but he just wouldn't
"I agree with Donald Trump. You can't trust those
fact-check organizations."
World's Worst Yobs #364
Steve Cortes
"Is that all there is to life, Donald?"
"Pretty much."
Donald Trump Performing His Rendition of Monty 
Python's 'Nudge Nudge, Wink Wink, Know What I 
Mean' Sketch
The main problem with the 'Both Sides Fallacy' is there 
are usually more than two sides and Donald Trump has 
taken them all at one time or another.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Trump Endorser Jon Huntsman Felt Betrayed When
Fellow No-Labeler, Joe Lieberman, Endorsed Clinton
Area Man Says Trump Shrine Is
Incomplete without Pocket-Size
Thermonuclear Device
New Currency Issued by the Counterfeit States of America
Donald Trump means what he says and says what he means.
Until, that is, he needs Sean Hannity to mansplain it to the
Site Selected for 2020 Republican National Convention
"Sometimes knowing a little is better than 
knowing too much."
"My, my, my! People are telling me there are over 
10,000 loose screws here tonight!"
After Trump said 'Titties' in his speech in Detroit, Mike Pence 
explained that Trump meant 'Second Amendment Voters'.

Tuesday, August 09, 2016

Shopping with 'Second Amendment People'
"What's wrong with Trump?"
"Elizabeth Warren just slapped his nads."
"Hey, America, I can lie faster than you can fact-check me.
Besides, as Reagan once said, 'Facts are stupid things."
Ivanka Reveals New Strategy for Making a 
Trump Presidency Seem Less Scary
Nikki Haley Able to Mock Ann Coulter by 
Barely Opening Her Mouth
What's so scary is not that Kody Brown has four wives, 
but that even one woman would agree to marry him.
DHS Lowers Threat Level of Trump's Economic Plan 
from 'Lunacy' to 'Usual Republican Nonsense'

Monday, August 08, 2016

"Don't look so terrified, Babs!  Hillary has everything
under control!"
For the first time in history, a sinking ship, the
USS Donald Trump, has abandoned all rats on board.
"If George P. Bush had a choice between repudiating
 the man who humiliated his father and endorsing that 
man, which would he choose?"
"Is that supposed to be an easy question, or what?"
Type and Antitype
"OK, I realize using the F-word in your act is a 
major crutch.  But I just got here, OK?"
The only thing that has kept Hillary alive since last April
 (when she was predicted to die) is laughing at Donald 
Trump and his supermarket tabloid.  Like they say, 
'Laughter is the best medicine'.
Drudge Report Publishes Picture of Hillary Clinton
Climbing Stairs on All Fours to Show She's Not 
Physically Fit for High Office
Neo-Trumpian Cosmologist Says Entire Universe Is Rigged
What You Find If You Use Google to Locate the Center-
Right of the Political Universe: Thomas Friedman's 
Zippy the Pinhead Opens New 
Shooting Range/Bowling Alley in