Saturday, February 25, 2017

"Don't worry about the White House Correspondents'
Dinner, Donald.  I'll be your body double."
Trump Says He Can't Stand the Heat,
So He's Staying Out of the Kitchen
Remember 'The Masks', the Twilight Zone episode where 
the greedy heirs put on horrid Mardi Gras masks and then 
can't take them off?
"If my name were as long as I am tall, my name wouldn't 
be Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III. It would be Pip."
Haven't we seen this movie before?

In 2015, the U.S. spent $596 billion on the military. 
That's 3 times what China spent, 9 times what Russia
 spent.  Is this what Trump means by 'depleted'?
"By the way, you folks are in here--this place is packed, there
 are lines that go back six blocks and I tell you that because
 you won't read about it, OK."
Donald Trump Sez: "I like Campbell's Soup."
"Great to be back at CPAC!  I love this place!  It really is 
an honor to be here. I wouldn't miss a chance to talk to 
my friends. These are my friends."
Over the years, various synonyms for 'Truth' have been 
suggested.  The most recent is 'Fake News'.
"They say I'm crazy.  That's just Fake News."
Ryan knew Trump was out of focus, but that's just the way
 he liked it.

Friday, February 24, 2017

What Happens When You Lose
Every Case, Week after Week,
to Perry Mason
"Don't worry, CNN viewers and New York
Times readers, you can still catch my press 
briefings on Saturday Night Live."
Law Professors Hit Kellyanne Conway with Misconduct
 Complaint for "Acting in a Way That Brings Shame Upon 
the Legal Profession; "That's Not Possible!" She Says
"Wayne tells me leftwing protesters are being paid $1,500 
a week, tax free.  We need to look into this because I 
thought I was the only one not paying taxes."
Tom Cotton's Natural State
Was it a moth or a butterfly? Vladimir could
 never tell the difference.
Whiteworld #43
"Did you know I can count the number of off-white
people at CPAC on the fingers of one hand?"
Alex Jones Says Russia/Trump Flag Waving at CPAC
Was a 'False Flag Operation'
Oxymorons for Our Time #184
Rick Perry to Lead America to the Top of the Pack
in Nuclear Arms Race
"Time for your town hall, Louie."
Homeless Man Wonders When a Good Samaritan 
Will Buy Him an In-N-Out Grilled Cheese Sandwich
"Hey, Reince, did you know the leg bone is connected
to the groin bone?"
Ken Bone---Admitted Perv, Insurance Fraudster, and
Ugly Sweater Model---Shows Up at CPAC
Someone needs to ask Steve Bannon to explain the difference 
between 'Deconstruction' and 'Destruction'. His answer would 
be entertaining.
The Alt-Right is now saying ACU stands for 'American
Cuck Union' and CPAC means 'Cuck Political Action
Conference'.  Hello Milo!
Greg Abbott and Dan Patrick, Texas Peckercheckers
Reince Priebus Showing How He Tried to Charm a Top FBI 
Official Into Disputing the Trump Campaign/Russia Connection
They called him Don Cornholione.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Old Men with Guns #34
Adam Purinton
Deconstruction of the Administrative State
for Fun and Profit
Steve Bannon and Reince Priebus Doing Their
Bert & Ernie Routine at CPAC
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #679
Dan Schneider
If Trent Franks has his way, every Arizonan will be 
required to check his or her bale of marijuana to make
 sure it doesn't contain a thermonuclear device. Sad!
"Roger Rabbit is the Enemy of the American People!"

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Is Stephen Miller flashing the White Power Sign of the
Three-Eared Sphincter or the Illuminati Sign of the
Three Sixes? Conspiracists want to know.
Trumpian Deflector Shield Seen as Effective Solution
to Illegal Alien Infiltration
Felix Sater sounds like the kind of criminal who deserves 
the fate of Major Dexter Smythe, the villain in Octopussy
who is accidentally stung by a Scorpionfish and partially 
eaten by an octopus.
People are more afraid of Trent Franks than they are
of nuclear weapons inside bales of marijuana smuggled
into the U.S. from Mexico. 
Trump's Facepalm FAIL
We know gold is not supposed to tarnish, but isn't
Trump's hair turning green?
Trump says he likes states, like South Carolina, he won
by 'double, double, double digits'. He apparently 
doesn't like New York, his home state, because he lost 
it by 23 points, or 'double, double, double, double digits'.
The Nutty Messiah #1
Ben and Me
Remember when Trump threatened to cut off federal
 funding from Berkeley because it cancelled Milo's
speaking engagement? Will he now treat CPAC the 
same way? Ha, no way! He's going to be a CPAC
The nation was shocked today when it learned Trump's 
rally in Florida was planned by 'conservative activists'.
The motto of the Trump Crime Family is
 'In Gold We Trust'.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Non Gradus Anus Rodentum!